Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[masticina]

Dude you know dragons and virgins right. That is why so little are virgins because if you are well you are dragon chow!

Laughing aside I personally rather not have to deal with the virgin stuff. First Sex is usually terrible after all... so .. it is better if someone knows what they sexually desire. The only way to get that is by having done it.

Yes done it safe though hopefully..

Hey if you feel that Virginity is that important well that is how you feel. Go ahead.. but you are going to
have to fight of some dragons!

Mmm we might have some good tips in these postings here though if you want to date. Look nobody is perfect neither are you and love will happen one day. One day probably on a person that isn't perfect by your standards. So what..

Love is blind! And dragons love virgins.. with bbq sauce. Crunchy!

 

[albinoterrorist]

Edit II: As Azure-Supernova stated:

You're not after a virgin you're after someone responsible and faithful. You could meet a virgin and full well have glorious sex, only for her to turn around and cheat or not be a virgin at all. Surely virginity would fall behind the two afforementioned traits?

I suppose he's definition is a little more what I am looking for. I guess I could drop the virginity issue down a little if I could find faithful and responsible girl. I am still standing strong on not doing illegal drugs and drinking but I could give more leeway on virginity.

While I say props to you if you don't drink underaged (even I had a can or two of cider before I was legal, and I hated the stuff. Just fizzy, bad-tasting water.), you'll definitely find yourself in the minority. Still, you should be able to find some people who keep off it until legal (and beyond, if they don't like the taste, have allergies, or whatever).

Drugs? Awesome.
If you don't try the stuff, you can't get hooked - and everyone's got to draw the line somewhere.
That said, while the people who actively take it regularly will (or, at least, should be, from my experience) be the minority, you can expect most people to have experimented at some time or another.
Don't worry. As a result of less people doing it frequently, there's nowhere near as much push to do drugs as there is to drink - if you can resist peer pressure on drink, you'll easily be able to keep clean of drugs.

Smokers are no worry.
There's always a small majority to large minority of non-smokers, wherever you are (within reason - so probably not a smoker self-help group).
Because of the much more immediately obvious health concerns physically, no-one should look down on you for not smoking.

Virginity - eh, you shouldn't have to cave on that. Assuming you're in high-school (even uni, if you look hard enough) there should be a fair few virgins.
Problem is, it's hardly something you can pick up on as easy as smoking or drinking - people can't show it physically, even were they to want to.

Basically, all i'm saying is don't hold anyone to higher standards than yourself.
If you can do that, you should turn into a great guy.

 

[CODE-D]

Same as me, here in Ky I was the weird one for not trying to fuck the nearest female and not drinking or smoking. Before I knew it I was probably the only virgin in my grade and still am. Is it so wrong to want someone like you? There are good girls out there but they fucked first and then broke up with their boyfriends cause guess what, they found they were assholes or not committed. Go figure. Those girls are my choices basically.


Probably be easier to numb my feelings about it with alcohol and drugs and go hit on the nearest vagina but... no.


I blame age of consent(16, which means theyre fuckin at 13-14) and bad parenting.

 

[priestswearseatbelts]

There's more than one hole fella.

If you can adjust your criteria accordingly.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Also, you're going to have a very difficult time finding a partner with those criteria. People, on the whole, tend to like enjoying themselves.

Thank you.
I don't understand why people get so apologetic for enjoying themselves.
I'm not a virgin, I can drink like a sailor when I want to,(do we still get in trouble for discussing the last thing?) and you know what, it's awesome. I'm not going to apologise for not being 'ladylike' or demure, it's fun.

OP: I'd be so creeped out if a guy interested in me's major criteria was that I was a virgin... it's so... archaic.
I certainly don't consider myself 'impure' or 'tainted' by the fact that I've had sex with more than one person, nor am I a whore/slut.

There are two types of men who relish the thought starting a romantic relationship with virgins.

1- The sort who get off on breaking the hymen.

My legs actually clenched at the thought of that.

 

[DSK-]

'I've met the perfect girl! She's pretty, funny, loves the things I love and we get along so well!'

What's this!

No Hymen!

No Virginity!

Final Destination.

Oh god, cookie for you, Sir

 

[Treefingers]

Well, I lost my virginity at 20, first smoked pot at 19, first got drunk at 18. Not sure when I first tried tobacco, was older than 18 though for sure (and I've only ever tried it a small number of times). The legal age limit for alcohol and tobacco is 18 here.

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

*raises hand*

Never smoked.

Never drank.

Never had sex.

The first two I never plan on doing. Ever.

 

[Dastardly]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs.

Those are awfully high standards to hold someone else to, particularly when you haven't met them. Of course, I'm sure you also hold yourself to these same standards, so I don't think you're being unfair... just perhaps unrealistic.

Here's a scenario: You get into a relationship with this ideal girl, things are going well, you hit it off... and eventually you get to the point that you can have sex. So you do. And then something happens that ends the relationship -- someone undergoes a life change and wants something different, you come upon some problem that you just can't mutually resolve, or (God forbid) one of you dies in a car accident.

Now what? You don't fit that code anymore, are you just "done?" Forever?

Now consider this: What if the person who is just perfect for you had this scenario happen to them before they met you? You could be missing out.

Consider the person, not the history. You'll likely end up happier.

 

[Mordwyl]

When you get older, this sort of crap doesn't bother you. Most especially if you're still in your teens where everyone is experimenting with all sorts of crap. What's the deal with the race of losing your virginity anyway? Some cultures glorify that sort of thing, particularly in religious countries.

 

[DeleteThisAcc]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

Edit II: As Azure-Supernova stated:

You're not after a virgin you're after someone responsible and faithful. You could meet a virgin and full well have glorious sex, only for her to turn around and cheat or not be a virgin at all. Surely virginity would fall behind the two afforementioned traits?

I suppose he's definition is a little more what I am looking for. I guess I could drop the virginity issue down a little if I could find faithful and responsible girl. I am still standing strong on not doing illegal drugs and drinking but I could give more leeway on virginity.

Same here. But I am Ok with someone that drinks a bit (like few glasses of wine for special occasions). And if finding not smoking, not drunk, responsible and faithful and virgin is impossible in Lithuania (EU) I would say it should be harder in US.
You are almost like younger version of me for looking for such woman!

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Your statement, "The drug thing is fine - smart even...", is rather ridiculous. Not only are they illegal but they are harmful.

**headdesk**

No, I was saying that YOU were smart to not date someone who's into drugs. I was agreeing with you on that point only.

Choosing not to date someone who's into drugs = smart.

Choosing not to date someone who's had sex = shallow.

That was my point. I was saying I agreed with your stance on drugs, but strongly disagreed with your stance on virginity.

I am a virgin and intend to be until I marry. I am not saying a woman can never have sex, I am saying I want me and my wife to share having sex for the first time together. And I am not "imposing my wishes" on someone else and their body; if they want to have sex, let them. It just means I wont be dating them.

And that makes you sound like... well, another poster called it "rapey" and I concur. Virginity is not a valid reason to date someone. But whatever - it's not my life. Again, I say I am rather sorry for whomever you end up with. That "first time together" thing rarely goes well.

 

[I-Protest-I]

My ex was a virgin, after the year together we had she's now had a few partners so virgins aren't all they're cracked up to be in terms of being 'pure.' Just need to find me a nice girl to spend time with, sick of finding ones who act 16 when they're 24.

 

[Shadu]

21 and I haven't done any of those things. Because I don't want to. I don't actually care if my eventual boyfriend does some...though perferably not smoking since it makes me feel ill or drugs because I don't want to get caught up in that, but if they have in the past, it's the past. The drinking may not be something I partake in, but I don't care if it's done in moderation and I don't hear about it all the time.

...that would one of the many reasons my last, and only, boyfriend and I broke up. He joined a frat, talked about drinking all the time, and I didn't really want to be associated with that. There were many other factors, but we both split. It was mutual. We're still friends, in fact.

But anyway, on topic again, I don't think it's that they don't exsist, it's more that it's really personal. Internet will bring out confessions because you can stay relatively unknown, but I would not declare in real life that I was. And I'll bet that some in the class are lying anyway, to make themselves look cool.

I also agree, though, with one of your edits saying that you probably just want loyalty. I agree, I think that's what I'd want. As long as I don't get sick because of a mate's habits (i.e. smoking or STDS), then I don't care what they did in the past.

 

[DeleteThisAcc]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs.

Those are awfully high standards to hold someone else to, particularly when you haven't met them. Of course, I'm sure you also hold yourself to these same standards, so I don't think you're being unfair... just perhaps unrealistic.

Here's a scenario: You get into a relationship with this ideal girl, things are going well, you hit it off... and eventually you get to the point that you can have sex. So you do. And then something happens that ends the relationship -- someone undergoes a life change and wants something different, you come upon some problem that you just can't mutually resolve, or (God forbid) one of you dies in a car accident.

Now what? You don't fit that code anymore, are you just "done?" Forever?

Now consider this: What if the person who is just perfect for you had this scenario happen to them before they met you? You could be missing out.

Consider the person, not the history. You'll likely end up happier.

Very good example. Yet most of non-virgins lost their virginity in sex "for fun". And they did not do that once or twice. What that means? Such wife will most likely have sex with other men when you are not around, just for fun.

Consider the person AND the history. Because history says a lot about person.

 

[Ris]

What is wrong with the men in this thread?

A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.


Got that? Good.

Further to that, just because a woman has had sex with a guy/s before you does not mean that she takes sex lightly. It can simply mean that there was someone out there other than you with which she felt a special bond with. With almost 7 billion people on the earth, this shouldn't surprise you or anyone. Maybe she didn't have the foresight to see that a relationship wasn't going to last. Maybe she was raped. Maybe she considers emotional intimacy to be a much more special bond than just merely a physical one.

Maybe she just has the maturity to realise that sex is only one part of a stable, committed relationship.


And I HAVE to address this:

I wont be having sex before I am married. It is not because of some religious belief or anything, I just think that the idea of another man being inside of my wife trying to create a baby (or not) is a little bit weird. I think that when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone who has been inside them before you. If I were to get a divorce, then no; I do not expect to remarry and/or have sex with another woman.

OP, your idea that being inside of a non-virgin is tantamount to having sex with everyone else she's ever had sex with is... ugh. Look, I'm trying to hold onto a lot of rage here. Just grow up. Protest all you want, but what you're saying there is that a woman's body is a tainted vessel once someone other than you has been inside it. That a woman who has had sex is just another sullied vagina, and eeeeewww after that you couldn't possibly view her as a human being with the capacity to love you, and not just a body part. You need to reexamine that idea. Now, immediately. It's fucked up.

And for someone claiming to see sex as a meaningful exchange of feelings, you've done a wonderful job of reducing it to just a physical act; call me crazy, but I don't think you can form an emotional attachment with the dude before you simply by having occupied the same vagina.

 

[Togs]

What is wrong with the men in this thread?

A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.
A woman's self worth is not linked to her virginity.


Got that? Good.

Further to that, just because a woman has had sex with a guy/s before you does not mean that she takes sex lightly. It can simply mean that there was someone out there other than you with which she felt a special bond with. With almost 7 billion people on the earth, this shouldn't surprise you or anyone. Maybe she didn't have the foresight to see that a relationship wasn't going to last. Maybe she was raped. Maybe she considers emotional intimacy to be a much more special bond than just merely a physical one.

Maybe she just has the maturity to realise that sex is only one part of a stable, committed relationship.


And I HAVE to address this:

I wont be having sex before I am married. It is not because of some religious belief or anything, I just think that the idea of another man being inside of my wife trying to create a baby (or not) is a little bit weird. I think that when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone who has been inside them before you. If I were to get a divorce, then no; I do not expect to remarry and/or have sex with another woman.

OP, your idea that being inside of a non-virgin is tantamount to having sex with everyone else she's ever had sex with is... ugh. Look, I'm trying to hold onto a lot of rage here. Just grow up. Protest all you want, but what you're saying there is that a woman's body is a tainted vessel once someone other than you has been inside it. That a woman who has had sex is just another sullied vagina, and eeeeewww after that you couldn't possibly view her as a human being with the capacity to love you, and not just a body part. You need to reexamine that idea. Now, immediately. It's fucked up.

And for someone claiming to see sex is a meaningful exchange of feelings, you've done a wonderful job of reducing it to just a physical act; call me crazy, but I don't think you can form an emotional attachment with the dude before you simply by having occupied the same vagina.

A more eloquent version of what I didnt have the balls to say- Op Im sorry but I find your whole "morality" to be midly repulsive.

EDIT="All men"? Kinda insulting tbh.

 

[Cat Cloud]

I dunno, I'm a girl who hasn't had sex, doesn't drink/smoke, and doesn't do drugs, and neither have many of my friends. We have done so by choice, too....

 

[Brainpaint]

It's a normal thing in my home town in Scotland(Where I no longer live) for you to be on your fourth or fifth kid by 20. I'm not kidding. There's actually PEER PRESSURE amongst women in their 40s and 50s to be grandmothers.

I'm 22 and I don't drink or smoke. Seeing other people in my family struggle with them just put me off altogether. Don't wanna risk it.
As for sex, I was molested in school at an age where most kids are trying to come to terms with puberty, hormones and the idea of being in physical relationships, so it has seriously affected how I view sex and there are very few people in the world understanding enough to bother with someone like me.
I think I'm better off not being tied down to somebody anyway and I can focus on my work, improving myself as a human being (both physically and mentally) and such.
I'm not old-fashined, either. I'm agnostic, my parents weren't married when they had me and I ain't waiting for marriage with the right person before I decide I'm ready. If it feels right it feels right. I just don't care right now.

I think the OP needs a bit of perspective. There are plenty of "virgins" out there, but it doesn't matter. They are just regular people that haven't had sex. Hell, a lot of them probably have done things BETTER than it while their peers that made fun of them for it have been thinking that sex, marriage and babies is the be all and end all of everything end up seriously depressed when they're 30, did all of those things and only got the t-shirt.

Just for the record, it's also not a disease. It doesn't need cured and it's not contagious. I'm sick of people treating virginity like it is.

Also, Virgin sucks balls as a descriptive word. We need to come up with a better term 'n shit. Like "NS" (Not sexing) or somethin'. Virgin was traditionally only used for women and has connotations of purity and goodness (Blech).