is it wrong for guys to shed tears?

[Trivun]

I barely ever cry at anything. Outside of intense pain, I haven't cried at anything since my uncle's funeral eight years ago, aside from perhaps two films (just barely). On Friday night, I went to see an amateur production of the musical Rent! at my university. It was absolutely amazing to the point where I was on the very edge of tears not once, but twice, something that has never happened to me before. Anyone who's seen the musical will know which parts, especially as the second involved my favourite character (here's a hint, they were both in Act Two).

Does this make me any less of a man? Because I was close to tears because I was genuinely moved by the outstanding performance of a few young actors? I don't think so. Why should I be thought of as less of a man for showing emotion, especially as it's something I almost never do anyway? No, I don't think it makes me less of a man. In fact, I think the ability to still be able to show emotion makes me, and others like me, more of a man (or men, rather), because we aren't afraid to show that. That's how I feel about this whole debate.

 

[krazykidd]

Personally i think you formulated your question wrong. Is it 'Wrong'? no. But because men are often displayed as being Strong, Manly and Tough, men that cry are seen as being weak, girlish and soft.The question you shoulda asked (assuming i know what answer you wanted ) is what do you guys think of a man that sheds tears. I am a man , and Pride will not allow me to shed tears in front of anyone. But under specific circumstances i think its okay to shed tears ( not ball your eyes out though ) like a death, or birth of YOUR child or something like that. Its not Wrong for men to cry , but it could have an impact on how people percive you.


My 2 cents

 

[Jodah]

I feel its silly for anyone to cry over physical pain. Regardless of gender I always tell them to suck it up. Emotional pain is something completely different. If a loved one passes away by all means, cry your heart out.

 

[Joey245]

No, it's perfectly acceptable for men to cry. Heck, I cried during Toy Story 3. And during Kingdom Hearts and Mass Effect.

I cried at the slightest provocation when I was little. Heck, there was an episode of Power Rangers that made me burst into tears at the mere mention of it.

 

[C95J]

Yeah, of course it is. It is okay for everyone to cry once in a while. Ain't no shame in showing your true emotions.

 

[Purplefood1]

It's not wrong but i'd be pretty uncomfortable...
Though that's not gonna stop people saying it's wrong

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Sure, why shouldn't guys cry?

I mean, aside from trying to maintain the "WE ARE MACHO CAVEMEN DURRR" stereotype?


Although, I haven't cried in years. Been sad, yes. Curl up under my covers and wish I could just stay there for months, yes. Cry, no. I haven't lived through anything terrible/sad/tear-inducingly-happy enough recently to make me cry.

 

[Neverhoodian]

I hope it's not wrong.

I cry at the drop of a hat, basically.

Most recently, I cried at the end of Fruits Basket and came close to tears at the end of "The Fighter". Hell, I cried at the end of Dragon Age: Origins.

I cry "happy" tears, even. Even when everything wraps up nicely.

Oh snap, a fellow male Fruits Basket fan! I'm not ashamed to admit I cried during the final episodes too.

I can be moved to tears by many things, including happy moments as well as sad. For instance, I'm always deeply moved by this particular inspirational speech:

Anyone who claims "real men don't cry" has no idea what a "real man" actually is.

 

[Zack84]

Crying occassionally--sure that's ok. As most people said it's better to address some of those emotions than cram them back down. Or do it the manly way--cram 'em down and wait until there's no audience. But crying frequently? No, then it makes a guy appear to be a sissy (and I mean that in the 1940s sense). I don't really respect girls who cry all the time, either. Not into histrionics.

And blubbering of any kind is sickening to behold. I will instantly lose respect for any dude I witness blubbering...

Did that shit once as a teenager--never again. Just thinking about it now makes me want to go back in time and ***** slap myself.

 

[Zack84]

Some people here are using the argument that to hold back crying is somehow "less manly" than openly crying because you feel a need to "hide yourself." What if the strong emotions you are experiencing in the moment are not "hidden," and anyone present is deeply aware of how you're feeling. But rather than lose your composure, you prefer to maintain yourself. It's not about trying to appear emotionLESS, but rather in control of your BEHAVIOR.

 

[emion]

like jackass said it. "is it wrong to be strong??? you be the judge"

but seriously. NOOO... why not be able to show a little feeling without people calling you a PUSSYcat

 

[Togs]

If your a bloke cry all you want, just not in public as its kinda pathetic

Some people here are using the argument that to hold back crying is somehow "less manly" than openly crying because you feel a need to "hide yourself." What if the strong emotions you are experiencing in the moment are not "hidden," and anyone present is deeply aware of how you're feeling. But rather than lose your composure, you prefer to maintain yourself. It's not about trying to appear emotionLESS, but rather in control of your BEHAVIOR.

You might not be able to hear it, but when I finished reading this there was applause.

 

[Amondren]

No its not wrong for a man to cry especially at funeral's. What can be a bit odd is guys who cry at every slight problem.

Just out of curiosity; how so?

Well I think that it is good for a man to be in tune with his emotions. But I believe that its bad that it is bad if he cry's if something simply does not go his way on a minor thing.

 

[Yarpie]

No its not wrong for a man to cry especially at funeral's. What can be a bit odd is guys who cry at every slight problem.

Just out of curiosity; how so?

Well I think that it is good for a man to be in tune with his emotions. But I believe that its bad that it is bad if he cry's if something simply does not go his way on a minor thing.

I see. I really have to ask exactly why is this so bad? Suppose the guy simply doesn't handle setbacks very well and easily gets emotional. Does somehow crying make him worse than people who don't cry as easily as he does? Also, how would you define "minor thing"?

Also, again out of curiosity; we have specifically talked about men getting emotional very easily. Would you say it is more acceptable for women to do so? Sorry if I'm going all Socrates here, but these discussions interest me greatly.

 

[Amondren]

No its not wrong for a man to cry especially at funeral's. What can be a bit odd is guys who cry at every slight problem.

Just out of curiosity; how so?

Well I think that it is good for a man to be in tune with his emotions. But I believe that its bad that it is bad if he cry's if something simply does not go his way on a minor thing.

I see. I really have to ask exactly why is this so bad? Suppose the guy simply doesn't handle setbacks very well and easily gets emotional. Does somehow crying make him worse than people who don't cry as easily as he does? Also, how would you define "minor thing"?

Also, again out of curiosity; we have specifically talked about men getting emotional very easily. Would you say it is more acceptable for women to do so? Sorry if I'm going all Socrates here, but these discussions interest me greatly.

I fully believe that women are equal to men in every-way, I feel its always good to be in connection with ones emotions. I don't think its to good for someone to be over emotional or bottle up their feelings. By minor things I mean something like a video they were looking forward to seeing in the theater being canceled due to the snow.

In no way does crying make him any-less of a man or a human, but one should not cry at setbacks because life is full of them. Perhaps I seemed a bit to harsh with what i said at first (I didn't mean to bold the 1st post).

 

[FinalHeart95]

Depends what you're crying over. Honestly, don't cry over spilled milk.
At the same time, it doesn't necessarily have to be that someone DIED. Maybe a relationship ended or something. Also, sometimes the arts have power to make people cry, and that's okay too. In that case, it's the art doing its job.

 

[Small Dragon]

no. period.

 

[Yarpie]

I fully believe that women are equal to men in every-way, I feel its always good to be in connection with ones emotions. I don't think its to good for someone to be over emotional or bottle up their feelings. By minor things I mean something like a video they were looking forward to seeing in the theater being canceled due to the snow.

In no way does crying make him any-less of a man or a human, but one should not cry at setbacks because life is full of them. Perhaps I seemed a bit to harsh with what i said at first (I didn't mean to bold the 1st post).

Good answer! What I was trying to get to was checking if you originally implied that crying over minor things somehow decreased someone's "manliness" (whatever the hell that means), but you have a well reasoned position that I would mostly agree with!

Just one more question: You said that people should not be overly emotional but at the same time not bottle up their feelings. Suppose someone is very emotional by nature, but tries their hardest not to burst out crying at every little setback, even though they really want to. If they should not bottle up their feelings, then they find themselves in a catch 22: either they let their emotions flow or they bottle up the emotion they would like to have shown. How would you say that kind of person should deal with their emotions. Again, sorry if these questions are a pain in the ass, but I am genuinely interested in your take on this.

Also, actually I bolded the first post to emphasize what I was addressing.

 

[Amondren]

I fully believe that women are equal to men in every-way, I feel its always good to be in connection with ones emotions. I don't think its to good for someone to be over emotional or bottle up their feelings. By minor things I mean something like a video they were looking forward to seeing in the theater being canceled due to the snow.

In no way does crying make him any-less of a man or a human, but one should not cry at setbacks because life is full of them. Perhaps I seemed a bit to harsh with what i said at first (I didn't mean to bold the 1st post).

Good answer! What I was trying to get to was checking if you originally implied that crying over minor things somehow decreased someone's "manliness" (whatever the hell that means), but you have a well reasoned position that I would mostly agree with!

Just one more question: You said that people should not be overly emotional but at the same time not bottle up their feelings. Suppose someone is very emotional by nature, but tries their hardest not to burst out crying at every little setback, even though they really want to. If they should not bottle up their feelings, then they find themselves in a catch 22: either they let their emotions flow or they bottle up the emotion they would like to have shown. How would you say that kind of person should deal with their emotions. Again, sorry if these questions are a pain in the ass, but I am genuinely interested in your take on this.

Also, actually I bolded the first post to emphasize what I was addressing.

Their no pain in the ass its interesting to catch a glimpse at other peoples opinions.

Being overemotional at birth is not something you could control but bottling something up is, given the scenario that someone is overemotional and has something happen that causes them great distress I feel that one should express their emotions. For example if someone had a experience causing them much sorrow I would suggest a creative output such as painting or writing photography, etc. A creative output could be a way for someone to express their sorrow without tear's (not that their's anything wrong with that I too as a human cry). With that they could show how they felt to the world

 

[AngloDoom]

No, it's not wrong. However, people will still treat men as if it is.