Is roleplay sex okay?

[William MacKay]

At first glance I asked myself "when is it not?" Then I read it and sadly it's not the same kind of "roleplay sex" that I was thinking of.

same here.
OT: not ok. unless the boyfriend is.

 

[Spade Lead]

My ex girlfriend think it counted. I didn't. This disagreement and her status as ex are completely unrelated.

See, the way I was raised, it didn't count as sex until your penis was inside the other person, so I'm not sure what book all these nay sayers read out of.

Emotional affairs are real, and destroy as many marriages as physical affairs. My stepfather had an emotional (and possibly physical) affair, and it directly lead to the break-up of our family. I have always been harsh on that point because of it, but that is also because I am smart enough to know that there is no such thing as "just sex" unless you never talk to that person again.

 

[Wintermoot]

you aren't humping her so I think it,s OK (it,s kinda like phone sex but with text instead of speech)

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

No, I really don't think it's like cheating. It's like reading a book and it's not even the two of you, but two characters you've created. I've tried sex roleplaying over the internet. It was nothing special and afterwards I just felt weird, because I had written that stuff to some random stranger on another continent who I never met. It's a good thing that one can be anonymous or another character.

 

[Saluki_princess]

Depends on how much her character is her and your character is you. If you're just roleplaying characters, that's that. If you feel a romantic attachment to this girl and/or she does to you, and you're both emotionally invested in this on a personal level, I'd consider it cheating.
But this is definitely something for you two (or three) to work out, if it bothers you.

 

[Saluki_princess]

Are you roleplaying through your characters, or are you interjecting yourself into the roleplay? If two characters have sex because it's what the characters would do, from a purely artistic/literary view, that's fine. But if you consider the character an extension of yourself and are playing it as such, then it might descend into a fantasy, which makes the situation more complicated.

Basically, are you using the characters as writers, or as a way to interact with each other? The type of roleplay makes a big difference, since in one way she's probably more personally invested, but in the other she's just being true to the character. If the former, I'd avoid it. If the latter, avoiding it could (hypothetically) be breaking character.

Again, I'm not sure what type of roleplay this is, but if it's the kind I'm used to then in-character and out-of-character should be separate anyway. But if it makes you uncomfortable anyway, time-skip is your friend.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I second this opinion.

 

[Peteron]

.....why are you even doing that in the first place? Don't you think thats a bit odd?

 

[Zechnophobe]

Okay, so here's the story.

I have a female friend whom I chat with online. We've known each other for quite sometime, we've talked on the phone, we've seen what the other one looks like, but we have never met in person. She has a boyfriend, I am single. We like to do roleplay in a private online chat room where we make our own characters and they interact with each other and stuff. It's a lot of fun to me and we've done that for a while, but assuming you read the title I think you'll know where this is going. So it's gotten to the point where one of my characters is veeeeery close to having sex with her character (They are a couple). The argument is that since we're just roleplaying and its our 'characters' having sex not us, then she's technically not cheating on her boyfriend and it's ok. But I still have a niggling little doubt in the back of my head saying that this is wrong.

So can roleplay sex be labeled under real sex or not?

If it were phone sex would it be cheating? Imagine your girlfriend talking to some guy on the phone about how much she wanted HIM to do IT and with WHAT, in graphic detail. That... is very clearly not cool.

 

[sumanoskae]

I'd say ask the boyfriend, but we both know why you haven't done that already. If you're having to reassure yourself that it's just pretend sex then that means you're worried that it isn't, think about why you would want to have pretend sex with somebody you have no interest in, isn't wish fulfillment one of the key elements of role playing?.

Sounds like you and your friend need to discuss the nature of your relationship, but if you insist that there's nothing there, no, her boyfriend probably wouldn't be okay with his girlfriend having text sex with someone else, and it may negatively impact the relationship if you even ask. If you really feel you want to do this, then have her ask him what he thinks and let the chips fall where they may, just make sure she's clear on the risks and that you're both clear on how you feel about eachother

 

[emeraldrafael]

Ask the boyfriend. There we go problem solved

pretty much /thread.

EDIT: though If you want advice, I guess it would mean if you consider sexting to be real sex. Some people dont mind, because its not phsyical, others do, cause they think it instills ideas in their partner's head of infidelity.

 

[Risingblade]

Well how would you feel if your girlfriend did that with another guy?

 

[Farseer Lolotea]

Does he know about it, and can everyone involved reliably keep IC separated from OOC? If not, don't go through with it.

 

[Brightzide]

Yes Yes! 4 more Yes'! If it gets you off, do it! Need I say more?...Okay maybe I do, but the fact remains, you gotta do what you gotta do...When you gotta please your partner..fact!

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

It's an iffy subject. Definitely get the boyfriend's say on it, but assume right away that it would make him uncomfortable, so try to cease it. If he's cool with it, great. My girlfriend does so, though with slight trepidation, and I don't mind in the slightest. Granted, she does it with folks that I know and get along with, who I don't consider it cheating with.

 

[JediMB]

Whoa. My Deja-Vu-Sense is tingling.

No, I'd have to say that basically cybering with someone who's in a relationship isn't something I'd recommend, unless the other party is clearly looking for a way out of said relationship.

But I also have to say that the only one who should make this decision for you is... you. Your responsibility to act responsibly, and all.

 

[BeerTent]

[...]
I, personally, wouldn't care if my girlfriend was getting naked in front of people, hell I wouldn't care if she was a stripper! As long as she aint having physical sex (including handjobs and blowjobs) it aint cheating. All this repressed mumbo jumbo about emotional affairs and what not is the reason there are so many divorces: no one wants their significant other to have a meaningful relationship with anyone but them? Selfish jerks don't deserve someone to love if you're going to be so damn selfish and force them to be someone they aren't just to support the delusion you've made up about them.

As long as they're only being physical with you, as long as they love and support you completely, as long as you both can be 100% true honest and open to eachother, how dare you force anymore stipulations on the relationship just because you aren't secure in yourself? I say if you're really such a repressed prude you wouldn't allow your significant other to let their fictional fucking characters have sex, even though they are completely devoted to you in all those other ways, then you don't deserve them

Couldn't have said it better myself... Well... I could cut more out, but I think the whole thing is more the norm than my situation.