It's impossible to be sexy when...

[Easton Dark]

Any kind of eating as far as I'm concerned. I can be playing the role of the finest of gentlemen, but as soon as I engage my mouth in the task of eating I put Kirby to shame.

Nah nah nah, the ladies love it when you say you eat a lot.

As for my contribution, I inevitably slump in my chair when playing or watching something, and slumped half-way in a chair is really unflattering.

(Apologies to all the men out there with mind-blowingly sexy legs. I'm sorry not to have met you.)

Guys who play or played soccer can be counted on to have nicely toned legs for a long time. Years later, mine still have that muscle, it's super rad to not have atrophied or meat-sack legs. I assume it goes for other sports with a lot of kicking as well.

 

[Scolar Visari]

Sitting in the back of a work truck, listening to our radio and eating an Uncrustables sandwich somebody gave me.

Woman waves to get my attention and tries to converse with me. Suprised and confused, I hurriedly stuff the entire sandwich in my mouth, fumble to get the window slightly open and try to yell back at her with a mouth full of PBJ. Can't hear her over the engine and radio. Eventually she gives up and walks away.

I don't have a better example, sorry. I don't really do anything that could be considered sexy. At least un-ironically that is.

 

[krazykidd]

Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

I love girls with socks on during sex. It also depends on the kind of socks. Hell i go out of my way to tell my girlfriend to keep her socks on.

I feel distinctly unsexy with my socks on. Then again maybe it's just a male thing.

Knee-high socks are sexy as hell. I also think that part of why i find it hot is because usually everyone takes them off, so it's different.

 

[x EvilErmine x]

You can't be sexy when you sneak in on your significant other in the shower and lovingly wrap your arms around them, plant a single delicate kiss on the back of their neck, then slip, slam her into the wall of the shower, and face plant into the bowl of the toilet.

There's no recovery for that. At all.

That made me laugh far too loudly, but only coz something similar once happened to me so I've been there too. Think you might have had it worse though.

OT

Sneezing. I don't mean little delicate kitten sneezes. I mean the full on full body shuddering monster sneez. They usually come out of no where, one second you are fine and then the next the air in your lungs hits eject. No one looks sexy doing that...but it can be quite funny to see.

 

[Techno Squidgy]

It's impossible to look sexy wearing a hazmat suit. No sexy funtimes on the reactor core.

It is however, very possible to look sexy wearing a lab coat. For a while I went to parties wearing a lab coat for a laugh, turned out to be a very good conversation starter, and apparently it made me look like "the bastard love child of a rock god and that chick from Thor".

 

[MortisLegio]

Spoiler: It is impossible to look Sexy when...

you're me. Yes I actually mean it.

 

[INF1NIT3 D00M]

-snip, because there's a lot to that post-

At first, I was laughing and thinking "What the heck am I watching?"
Then I got to the end and nearly fell out of my chair.

Oh, what's this? A second video? Wait... What am I watching?


OT: It's funny, because the stuff the OP lists as being impossible to make sexy are exactly the things I find impossibly sexy. Small things, everyday things, that's the stuff I secretly enjoy the most. Watching somebody I like read a book, or watching a movie. It's even more appealing if they're playing a video game. Watching them struggle, just a little bit, with a stuck zipper or something small like that always make me smile. If they're cooking, especially if they're cooking for me, it's all I can do to stay out of their way in the kitchen. Because there's somebody I like and they're making food.

Unfortunately, I don't have much of a gift for being sexy. I definitely can't eat the food they prepared and maintain any semblance of being cool or attractive. This is most likely a class-NOM-NOM-NOM event in progress. I pretty much just have to hope that they see something positive in me, and that carries them through all the unfiltered insanity.

 

[shootthebandit]

Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

I hate feet so id prefer socks to an unsexy foot anyday. Every time i see someone put a shoe on without a sock i cringe

On topic: its impossible to be sexy when you are trying to be sexy. I seriously dont know how this is the case but its true
Its impossible to be sexy when you pull up next to a car full of hot girls (usually a ford Ka) and you rev your engine but your foot slips off your clutch and you end up stalling your car

 

[VodkaKnight]

It's impossible to look sexy while wearing socks and sandals.
Seriously though, it's impossible to look sexy when wearing dirty overalls. Like seriously stained. With all the buttons done up
And it's impossible not to look sexual while eating a lollipop.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Jeez, half of the first page is like some sort of quasi-porno between Daystar and Fappy.
Anyway.
It is quite the endeavor to retain my sexy demeanor when my braces are being tightened.
You know, unless you're into that kind of thing.

 

[Zeldias]

It's impossible to be sexy with a pet in the room. I'm sorry, but at some point your cat is going to make it super awkward by jumping into a lap pre-lap dance or your dog is gonna think mom and dad (or mom and mom or dad and dad) are just playing when they start rolling around on the floor.

Also, when brushing your teeth.

 

[MrJinks]

... eating an orange. Impossible to get into with bare fingers and they leak everywhere. Satsumas on the other hand, are sexy fruit - perfect for sharing. *thanks Eddie Izzard for inspiration*

 

[Little Woodsman]

Alright everyone, pay attention for I am about to reveal a great truth!
It is impossible to be sexy while you are having sex!
Think about it. There's a reason so many people close their eyes during the act.

 

[Something Amyss]

I'm pretty sure it's impossible to be sexy while being me. But if you want specifics, it's impossible for me to be sexy when I'm moving something heavy.

 

[Uncle Comrade]

This is quite apt, as I'm currently suffering from a nasty cold, and it's impossible to be sexy when you have;
- a vacant, half-asleep expression
- a shiny red nose that you're constantly either wiping or sniffing
- a sore throat that makes your voice sound half zombie-half creaky floorboard
- random coughing fits

Add to that that I haven't had a haircut in about three months and my hair does not look good under such circumstances. I'm not talking Robert Pattinson-style scruffy, I'm talking full on mess. The hair at the back seems to be doubling back on itself, the sides are dotted with small tufts that insist on sticking out and the top and fringe is trying to grow in all directions at once. Bad hair day doesn't even begin to cover it. Picture a tumbleweed and you wouldn't be far off.

You can't be sexy when you sneak in on your significant other in the shower and lovingly wrap your arms around them, plant a single delicate kiss on the back of their neck, then slip, slam her into the wall of the shower, and face plant into the bowl of the toilet.

There's no recovery for that. At all.

Once, while having a flirty chat with a ladyfriend, I went to lean back casually on my chair, forgetting that;
a) I'd turned side on to talk to her, and
b) of the two chairs in the room, she was sitting in the one with armrests.

I toppled straight backwards onto the floor, hitting my head on the corner of my desk on the way down. She thought it was hilarious, especially when in my flustered and mildly concussed state I threatened to 'show her a corner'. You can't really go back to being suave and charming after that.

 

[Souplex]

It's impossible to be sexy while being a man who isn't Souplex.

 

[mortalsatsuma]

It may already have been said but it seems impossible to look sexy whilst having sex. The more you both get into it, the more crazy and disgusting you both look. Oh sure, it feels great but probably looks terrifying. xD

 

[BeerTent]

I forgot how absolutely foolish Daystar and Fappy get in the same room. Got a few chuckles out of me.

As for my side toward the OT, I'm going to agree with MortalSatsuma. While the tent is always pitched. Llladiess~ The actual act. Oh got I'm dripping sweat on you from my forehead.

Well, until the rope, leather and chain gets involved, then it gets su- Err... Maybe I've said too much about my sex-life. Aahm gonna have another drink.

 

[BishopofAges]

Theme song to this whole thread (and by extension Fappy/Daystar time):

OT: I feel its impossible to be sexy when you're reeeeally into the movie on television, I mean you can put forth the effort, but you look like a distracted circus seal.

 

[shootthebandit]

Its hard to look sexy when watching a superhero movie and then explaining the expanded universe