I'm pretty sure every woman on earth struggles with the mascara thing, it was most likely invented by the worlds worst misogynist.
That aside the worst thing is taking photos, like with a camera with an actual viewfinder. As soon as you close one eye and bring it up to your head, your whole face contorts in to some kind of wrinkly-squinty goblin-being. Not attractive at all.
When you ate recently and your tummy is making digestion noises in a quiet room. Or if you are kissing and or performing oral sax and burping, not that thats ever happened to me or anything...
Alright everyone, pay attention for I am about to reveal a great truth!
It is impossible to be sexy while you are having sex!
Think about it. There's a reason so many people close their eyes during the act.
I don't.
Nope, I keep my eyes wide open at all times, just staring at my partner with cold, unflinching, unblinking eyes...
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Saltyk said:
I'm going to say eating. There are certain foods that you can get away with eating in sexual ways, but most food? Certainly not. You can't eat a steak sexually. You can't eat spaghetti in a way that will make the opposite gender (or same if that is your/their deal) hot under the color. You can't eat a sandwich in a way that is sensual.
I'll be God damned if I won't try. But generally speaking, you will only think someone is sexy while eating if you want to have sex with them anyway.
You can't eat a steal sexually?
Well I beg to differ my good sir/ma'm, but a girl eating a big, slightly red steak is oh, so sexy.
T0ad 0f Truth said:
SkarKrow said:
T0ad 0f Truth said:
I have really shit posture sometimes, and when I play video games on my pc or am just reading a book anywhere that involves sitting, rather than laying, then I'm basically hunched over like a troll.
Oh, I have seen you dance, it made me want to blind myself, though it wasn't the beauty that got me...
On Topic:
Just go to live constantly listening to this song:
You will be the sexiest ************ ever. You could sit somewhere taking off your socks whilst eating spaghetti drenched in ranch-dressing, as long as you listen to this song whilst doing so, you'll do everything in a sexy manner.
I remember back in August I was at a festival, and I saw this girl I knew heading my way in the distance, and at the time I was kind of into her. Unfortunately at the time I was in the middle of eating a messy calzone, and had pizza dripping all down my face. I had to duck and run and hope she didn't notice me.
Not like it mattered, later in the night I saw her again, except this time I was drunk and high and was explaining how this dude I'd just met was 'like, my brother... you know? He's like my fucking brother! I love this guy! I fucking love this guy!'
Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.
I have really shit posture sometimes, and when I play video games on my pc or am just reading a book anywhere that involves sitting, rather than laying, then I'm basically hunched over like a troll.
Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.
You speak like me. You talk like me. You socialise like me. You have the body language of a sickly, young chimp with a bone deficiency.
I'm an ugly little videogame child. I cover the mirrors. Paint the windows. I unscrew all of the lightbulbs. I wear a doctor's mask. People ask me, "are you sick?" and I just say, "no". It's for their convencience. I never leave my room. I never get any letters from my family.
I believe it is impossible to look attractive or sexy, when you're reading a really good book and zoning out everything around you to the point where your sentences are gruff, one word, or simply grunts. You look like a NERD.
Very much so. Absolutely impossible to do anything with socks that is sexy.
And I hate skinny jeans on a girl. All I can think of is how hard it'd be to take the damn thing off. I always feel really self-conscious, exposed and uncomfortable in them. Very much the opposite of sexy.
You speak like me. You talk like me. You socialise like me. You have the body language of a sickly, young chimp with a bone deficiency.
I'm an ugly little videogame child. I cover the mirrors. Paint the windows. I unscrew all of the lightbulbs. I wear a doctor's mask. People ask me, "are you sick?" and I just say, "no". It's for their convencience. I never leave my room. I never get any letters from my family.
It is utterly impossible to be sexy while aboard a bus. It's public transport without any trace of decency, where you are expected to fold up like a deck chair and sit completely still for six hours. It is very difficult to be sexy once you crawl out of the horrid thing, reacquaint yourself with your bones and stagger back home.
Johnny Novgorod said:
Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.
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