Ah. Just curious since the festival wasn't brought up is all.Trivun said:Haha, don't worry, I've been following the game (replaying as I write) and nothing's been missed - the end of Act Two is the stuff that happens in my own 'Act 2 Chapter 4', i.e. in 'The Mirror', and then in the game it skips ahead a bit in time by a few weeks to speed things up when Act 3 begins, which is what I've written here. I simply added a therapy session again in between the two. But yeah, nothing's been missed so far xD.NoOne852 said:Wait, what about the end of act 2? I don't recall getting there, or are you doing acts seperate from the novel?(Though, my memory is a bit fuzzy on what events occured when in the story now)Trivun said:Apologies again for the delay, but hopefully the start of Act Three will be worth the wait
It's been a few weeks now since I told Hisao about my scars. Every day brings us closer to the bad times, but even now I can't bring myself to tell him any more. I wonder sometimes if it's because I'm scared of his reaction, or because I'm still ashamed of feeling that way?
Miss Yumi is never much help around now. She tries, of course, and we discussed it during our last few sessions, but truth be told I'm surprised I've never had a breakdown during them. The nearer we get to that date, the harder it becomes for me, and the more closed off I become ? as if it were possible for me to be more so. Anything that can take my mind off things will help now. There's still some time to go though, so I won't worry as much now as I will later. Until then, I'll seize anything to keep me occupied.
In a way, that's exactly what I'm doing now. Hisao and I have continued playing chess, with regular matches over lunch, but as the days have gone by and the troubles have edged nearer I've been losing myself more and more in the game. Miss Yumi noted last week, in fact, that I seem to be focusing more on our Go matches, and indeed I've been getting that bit better, though still nowhere near her level. At least Hisao is someone I can beat. ?Mate.?
?Again... what does that make this? 3-2?? Hisao sighs and knocks his king over in defeat. A common sight now, even if he has won the occasional game. Rare, but still...
?S-stalemates don't count.? Which makes it one-nil to me.
?Damn. You're getting better at this every day.? I don't think so. Really, I was always pretty good. Our first game though, I think that I might have just been glad to have someone new to play with, and as a result didn't focus as much on the moves I was making. Which meant making plenty of rookie mistakes and falling back on my old defensive play style. Miss Yumi told me during one of our Go games that I should look for opportunities when playing defensively, and then take advantage of them. When I first played chess with Hisao, I regressed to the type of strategy I'd always relied on, missing those moments, and losing pretty badly. Now, I've returned to that more developed style, giving me more options and more ruses to use. Just one mistake from Hisao now is enough to turn the tide of the whole match, and I've gotten good at manipulating the board to create those opportunities. It's something I wish I could do away from the game, but I'm just not that type of person, I guess.
?Fancy another game?? Hisao asks, eagerness in his eyes. I wish I could, but I have some work to get done. It's not important and can definitely wait, but I know won't feel up to it later. If things are as bad as last year, locking myself in my room and skipping classes (and I'm certain they will be), then the more work I do now the better. Less to catch up on when I've recovered.
?I... I have to finish my homework...?
?Oh,? he says, sighing a little. ?Well, I'll see you tomorrow then.?
I point at the teapot and cups on the table, still to be cleared away. ?But... what about this...?
?Don't worry about that,I've got it.?
?Oh... okay...? I'm kind of glad I don't have to clean up, but it would have been nice to spend just a moment more with Hisao. Well, I guess it can't be helped. I have no more excuses to stay. ?S-see you.?
?Later.?
I leave as Hisao continues clearing up the mess. Almost as soon as the door closes I notice Lilly walking towards the tearoom, her cane tapping against the side of the wall and on the floor ahead of her. ?Lilly??
?Ah, Hanako, is that you? I was just on my way to find you and Hisao. I wondered if you would care to take a trip to the Shanghai with me??
?Um...? I pause briefly. I need to get this work done, but visiting the Shanghai would be fun, not to mention another excuse to keep my mind off things. ?I... I was going t-to get some work... finished...?
She realises my intentions straight away. ?You want to be prepared?? Her voice is low, as if she doesn't want anyone else to hear. Lilly's the only person aside from Miss Yumi and the Nurse who knows the reason for my situation around this time. Not even Akira knows to the extent that Lilly does, and even then Lilly isn't aware of the full story. She edges around the topic, not wanting to cause any undue pressure, but with that simple comment she's already shown her awareness of my reasons for working so hard.
?I... um, I was... I wanted to...?
?It's alright, Hanako. I understand. I won't bring it up if you don't want me to.?
?No, that's not... I just wanted t-to get it out of the way... if I miss classes again...? I've been pretty good recently, to be fair. Since opening up that time to Hisao, I've attended most of my lectures. Mutou-sensei has given his usual silent nod towards my leaving for each group project, but even then I've stayed, working alone, or more rarely with Hisao (provided he hasn't been snatched away by Shizune and Misha).
?That's fine, Hanako. It was just a suggestion, but if you feel like getting ready for later...?
?No! I-I want to... I can put it off j-just a l-little bit...?
?Are you quite sure??
?I... I'm sure...? I'm not lying. The prospect of going to the Shanghai is more tempting than work. If I need to catch up later then so be it. Maybe I could use school work as makeshift therapy when I'm hiding away from the world, though somehow I doubt it will have any effect. As I consider this, the door opens again and a familiar figure walks into the corridor. Lilly's head turns towards the sound.
?Ah, Hisao...? I say to him. It's a little bit of a surprise that he's finished cleaning up so quickly, but more so I'm a little worried he may have heard part of the conversation, despite the closed door. If he did, he makes no signs of understanding what Lilly and I were discussing.
?Oh my, Hisao is here as well?? Presumably she was expecting to have to search for him, or ask me where he might be. It's lucky for her then that Hisao was with me anyway.
?Afternoon, Lilly,? he says. ?What's up??
?I was hoping,? she replies, ?now that I've finished with my class representative duties for the day, that I might have the two of you accompany me for tea at the Shanghai. It would be nice to enjoy ourselves outside of the school, for a change.?
?I'd be up for it. I think Hanako had work to do, though...?? Hisao turns to me, as if to ask if I've changed my mind on the notes and exercises still to complete.
?I-it's... not all that much...? I say. It's interesting that I haven't stammered anywhere near as much since meeting Hisao, but as the dark days draw closer my speech is getting worse again.
?Wonderful. It seems that we're all decided then.? Lilly clasps her hands together and, taking up her cane again, turns to leave, Hisao and I following in her wake.
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Given the time of day, the road to town is almost deserted. I don't need to hide my face anywhere near as much as usual, though I still hold on close to Lilly. It's not too long before we reach the traditionally styled wooden doors of the Shanghai. We enter to see an almost deserted scene ? just how I like it. Lilly takes her arm back from mine for a brief moment to retract her cane, as Yuuko pops up from her usual hidey-hole.
?Welcome to the Shanghai! May I take your order?? She bows as always, even though she doesn't need to. Societal conventions aside, she knows us, and we're informal enough that the bow is unnecessary. Well, to everyone except Yuuko.
?Just tea, please,? says Lilly. ?Hanako, Hisao??
?I'll have a slice of pie and some coffee,? Hisao responds. That sounds nice, but I'm not exactly hungry, and I prefer tea to coffee anyway.
?Just... t-tea... please...?
?Coming right up. Please take any seat you wish, and I'll be back shortly.? With that, Yuuko stumbles across to the counter, a smile and a nod accompanying her, as the three of us walk to the nearest window seats available. I don't hide away for once this time, instead choosing to ignore the world around me. Part of it is increased confidence, perhaps due to Hisao's influence? The other part is that keeping my mind off the days to come means I'm focusing that bit less on what the people around me think. The one good thing to come out of everything, I suppose.
As we sit down, Hisao looks across the table with concern. ?Are you okay, Lilly? You look tired.? She lowers her head with embarrassment written all over her face.
?Class representative work can be very tiring, considering that it often means dealing with the Student Council. Very tiring indeed.?
It doesn't take a genius to work out that by ?Student Council?, what Lilly means is ?her aggressive cousin and the loudest girl in Japan?. I'm a little curious about the work though, I must admit. Particularly how other people deal with it. ?How... do the other representatives go?? I say quietly.
?Better than I, but not by much. Shizune is a harsh taskmaster no matter whom she deals with.? Sometimes I've wondered if the workload for Lilly is that bit higher, simply because of spite. Then again, it's not really hatred between Lilly and Shizune, more just a petty rivalry. Like a sibling thing, except between cousins instead. I wouldn't claim to know the details anyway, just that the pair aren't exactly best friends.
?It doesn't sound like you particularly relish the job,? Hisao says. ?Why do you do it in the first place, if it's that bad??
?Being a class representative is enjoyable, and I can deal with the responsibility well enough. It's just that the people involved are sometimes...? She doesn't continue, but I can guess what Lilly was going to say next. Whatever it was, it would be slightly out of character for her. Not to mention the kind of thing you don't generally hear in public, especially a place as nice and quiet as the Shanghai.
With the break in conversation, I take the chance to leave for the restroom without causing a stir. I need it anyway, but I could also do with the time alone. I tend to stay out of Shizune discussions, regardless of my personal feelings on the matter. Thinking certain thoughts is one thing, but I'm not the kind of person to get actively involved in the dispute, even if it's nothing more than talking behind Shizune's back - I had enough of that happening to me after I got my scars.
My intended disappearance doesn't go unnoticed, however, as I rise from my seat. ?Hanako?? calls Lilly, turning in my general direction. She must have heard the chair moving back, or felt me next to her as I stood up.
?I'll... be back in a bit.? Avoiding any further questions, I leave and make my way to the restroom.
While I'm away from the others, I think about anything I can to keep my mind busy. I think about Shizune and the student council, about Mutou-sensei's lecture today, about the chess games, and even about more mundane things, like the mural on the wall near the dormitories. I was never one for art, but I still think it looks nice, if odd. When I finally return to the table, I find that Yuuko has already been and gone, and waste no time in drinking my tea. We talk about mundane topics as we rest, the conversation turning from the student council to our respective reading choices ? far more interesting in my view.
?Hey Hanako,? Hisao asks. ?I was just wondering... aside from chess and reading, do you have any hobbies or things you like doing??
I pause, shocked at the question. What's brought this on? Why does Hisao want to know more about my interests? I steal a glance at Lilly, but she wears the same faint smile she had during our previous conversation. She's giving nothing away. Hesitantly, I reply.
?Um... I guess... I like singing a l-little. I'm okay with c-computers as well, but I... don't use them all that much.? Next to me, Lilly nods. She already knows this much, and a little more too. I suppose I've always kind of liked jazz, however strange that may seem. I don't own any albums or go to listen to it, but I've occasionally borrowed CDs and a player from Akira or (on very rare occasions) used the computer in the library to listen. I don't say any of this to Hisao though, more out of nerves than a desire to withhold information. ?W-what about... y-y...?
?Me?? I nod at Hisao's comment, confirming his thoughts. ?There's chess,? he says, ?obviously, but also... hmm... there was soccer as well, though I can't really do that anymore. Reading, which I picked up in hospital... um...? It's starting to get a bit more awkward now. Maybe going down this path wasn't the best option after all. Lilly takes the opportunity to interject.
?It sounds as if you've picked up quite a few things since your accident.? I retreat into myself again, as always, trying subconsciously to avoid dealing with the situation, whereas Lilly tackles it head on to regain control of the circumstances. Not for control's sake, but for mine. Even so, I guess she and Shizune are more alike than either would care to admit.
As she finishes, a soft melody comes from Lilly's pocket. ?Sorry...? she says, answering her phone.
?I-it's okay...? She walks a short distance away so as not to disturb Hisao and I.
?Must be nice to be popular.? I smile at Hisao's comment, but say nothing. I'd rather not talk right now. ?It's nice and peaceful here,? he continues, eyes closed in rest. ?I wonder what it'd be like to have grown up somewhere like this, rather than in the city.?
This slip of information is enough to pique my interest, despite my wishes to stay quiet. ?Y-you come from the city??
Hisao's eyes flicker open as he responds. ?Yeah. You could say I was a city kid through and through.?
?I-It sounds like a lot changed...?
?It did. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it all, though. It's a bit of a culture shock, in more ways than one. You must've gone through something like this when you first arrived at Yamaku, right? I'd imagine most new students would.?
?N-not really...? I look away, a little unnerved. I'm not really sure how much to give away, how much to say to Hisao. It's true that I did feel something similar when I first came to Yamaku, but in a way I was also relieved. Finally, I would be among people whose situations were somewhat similar to my own. It wasn't long before I realised how naive I was being. Cliques and groups are as much a part of Yamaku as they are any other school. It didn't matter that there were other people here who had scars, or who had suffered through incidents like mine. They already had their friendships and groups that I wasn't a part of, and the formative years that I'd spent in the orphanage hadn't exactly helped my confidence or social skills. I ended up falling back to my old habits, just like when playing chess against Hisao that first time. It would be silly to say I'd improved over the past few years. Not by much, at any rate.
Before Hisao can probe any further, we overhear Lilly's conversation in the background. ?But can't we deal with that on Monday? The fallout has hardly settled from the last... I understand. I'll try to talk her down. You know what she's like when she gets locked onto an idea... Yes, thank you. I'll talk to you later, then. Goodbye.?
She closes her phone and returns to us, but chooses not to sit down. Her face is positioned in our general direction, as if she can hear us breathing or something. I wonder what she was talking about, and who with, but before I can ask the question Hisao cuts in first.
?Need to go??
?Unfortunately. Class representative work calls once again.? That explains that, then.
?I-I can come with you.? I've had fun, but being alone with Hisao would be a bit too much at the moment, after the conversation we sort-of just had.
?It's alright, Hanako. I'll just be going straight to the Student Council. There's no need to spoil a fine evening on my account. Besides, if you were to accompany me on my way back to the school, who would keep our poor Hisao company??
As Lilly speaks I notice the hints of a very mischievous smile start to form on her lips. Her eyes are on me, even though she can't see me. She knows that I don't want to stay, and she's doing it anyway, damn her. I wonder how much she knows of my possible feelings in that regard? For Hisao, or not, either way she must know more than she's letting on. Otherwise, why have me stay here? I couldn't even go quietly with her, Lilly's hearing is too good, and she's not stupid. I give up.
?Okay...? My voice is timid as ever.
?I can join you for tea again later tonight, if you'd like. I may well need it.? I agree to meet her later, passing Lilly her cane, and she leaves enough money (despite Hisao's protestations) to pay her share of the tea and meal, before saying her goodbyes to Yuuko and the pair of us. As she heads out the door, I glance at Hisao, acutely aware of the silence between us. This is almost as bad as if he were asking more questions about my past. I want to open up to him, but the closer we get to that day, the harder it becomes.
?Want to order something else to keep us going?? he asks, filling the quiet. ?We haven't had much of a dinner, after all.? That's something I can definitely get behind, and I nod with enthusiasm. Hisao looks across to Yuuko, who takes the hint and hurries over.
?Would you like something else??
?I'll just have a sandwich special and a hot chocolate,? says Hisao. ?Bit late for coffee by now. Hanako??
?I-I'll... have the same...? I'm not massively hungry, but something to eat would still be good, and I'm not picky. Yuuko nods to us both and delivers another low bow, before turning on her heel and heading to the counter to prepare our order. Hisao and I sit in silence until she returns, bringing food and drink together with a smile. As Hisao begins to eat, I watch him, and start to fidget just a little.
?Not hungry?? I guess he noticed me. I shake my head to show him how wrong he is.
?I-it's not that.?
?Aw,? he replies. ?I was all ready to have your share too.? I can't help but let a tiny smile creep out, but my heart isn't in it. As I study his face, I notice that there's something a little... off.
?You looked... t-troubled. I-is something... w-wrong??
Hisao pauses for a second or two. ?We're friends, right?? His comment catches me off guard, but in a way he's right. I hope we are, at least...
?Friends...? I hesitate, and wonder what I should say, before deciding to just come right out and be honest. Well, not totally honest, at least about my feelings... ?I-I think t-that we are...?
He seems rather relieved. ?I see...?
I hope he's relieved, at any rate. His actions, his tone, and his posture, all suggest so, but the words don't match up. Why did Lilly have to leave? I don't know how to deal with this situation. ?A-am I wrong? S-sorry, I-I...?
?No, it's just... hearing confirmation of that from you is reassuring.? That's definitely a relief, at least for me, but he could have been a bit more direct. It would have been so much easier for me then! Hisao continues, ?To pick up on what you said earlier: since coming to Yamaku, I've been a bit uneasy about how I should relate with others.? He chuckles a little before picking up his mug. I can't tell him, but Hisao's feelings are nothing new to me. I guess he's figured that out already. Except in my case, it's more than just unease. It's not as if Hisao has to see a therapist like I do, after all.
My thoughts are disturbed suddenly, as a cry of pain comes from the boy opposite me. ?Ouch! That's hot...?
I giggle a little, thinking that maybe I should have at least told him that. Oh well, no time like the present. ?Th-that's why... That's why I haven't eaten yet. I-I was waiting... for my drink to cool down first.? Fortunately Hisao doesn't seem to be annoyed at me for holding back the information. Not openly anyway.
?I guess I'll wait, then.? He puts his mug back down and we both start to laugh, softly and quietly. It's a little bizarre, but there's not much else we can do really. I don't feel like talking, and I think Hisao has figured that out by now. We don't say anything else as we finally finish our little meal, pay Yuuko the bill, and start the journey back to Yamaku.
When we finally get back to the campus, and the space between the male and female dormitories, the day's events catch up and I let out a little yawn, one I try (and fail) to stifle in front of Hisao. ?I'd better be off to my room, then,? he says. ?See you tomorrow, Hanako.?
?G-good night...? We both turn and walk towards our respective buildings, as I realise that I probably won't be having that tea meeting with Lilly that we agreed on. I'm not so sure she'll be back from her Council work anyway, if Shizune is involved again. Before I get too far away, though, I stop and turn back to face Hisao, watching as he leaves. Tonight was fun. It helped me keep my mind occupied, at least for a while, and although I wasn't exactly engaged in the conversation it was nice to learn a bit more about my new friend.
As I stop, Hisao also turns to look back at me, and I give a little wave, a rare and genuine smile upon my face. He smiles and waves back, before turning for the last time and walking away. I follow suit and begin the climb to my room, no doubt for the sole purpose of falling onto my bed and going straight to sleep. I'm scared, to be completely honest. I know tonight will be no different to every other night for the past few weeks, with nightmares and self-doubt racking my mind as I try to rest. What was a useful distraction earlier will have no effect when I'm asleep, and no matter what I do I can't focus on anything else again. I've been trying the relaxation techniques my therapist explained, and I've tried reading chess books before I sleep to give myself something else to think about, but it's no good at all. I reach my bed, undress and fall back onto the pillows. Morning takes a long time coming.
That being said, I think you are getting into "the date" well. You're showing it heavy on her mind and her trying to overcome it, or at least distract herself from it anyway, without it interrupting the story. Kudos, and such praise. =D
And thanks for the praise regarding my approach to 'the date'. That might be a bit tougher for me to write well from now onwards, so encouragement at this point is something I do really appreciate, so cheers for that!
And no problem. I look forward to seeing how you tackle the story when the time comes. ^_^
