Kitchen fails

[ReziSt]

I put salt on my cereal instead of sugar at a mates house. Even the dog wouldn't eat it.

 

[wolf92]

Cut my finger with a butter knife. Don't ask.
My dad cut himself with a box cutter, and then my mom made me bandage him up

 

[reyttm4]

Yeah kinda, it turned out alright though. Basically I had to heat up/cook some KFC rip off, SFC. No matter how long I put it in there for the chicken didn't turn out well, it just didn't feel cooked, I ate a bit, it tasted kinda bad. I'm glad I stopped, wouldn't be surprised if I nearly got Salmonella. Eventually I fucked it and cooked a pizza.

 

[T-Bone24]

Put soem premade bread dough in the oven.

Six hours later and I had inadvertantly created charcoal. It made a crackling noise which became more ferocious if you touched it. That'll teach me to have no memo- wha?

 

[fullbleed]

Spoiler

Uh, not exactly on topic, dude.

Who cares, it's win.

Me? I picked up a creme brulee torch wondering where the fire comes out, unknowingly held my hand over the nozzel, turned on the gas, clicked it... 0.5 second delay "AH FUCK!"

I hadn't even had that much to drink yet that night.

 

[KimberlyGoreHound]

Not sure if you'd call it a failure or success, but when I was 12 or so, a friend's parents were getting all new appliances for the kitchen, and being the type of 'throw them into the world and see what happens' parents they were, they allowed us to do whatever we wanted with the old appliances. We armed ourselves with a bowl of emergency water, and went at it.

The microwave sparked and nearly exploded when we nuked a bowl of cutlery...in retrospect, it was a bad idea that could have ended with flying glass shards.

The toaster caught fire when we slathered two pieces of already blackened toast with jam, then toasted them again, allowing jam to seep deep inside the toaster. We threw the water on it, and it made a bunch of weird noises. Not sure if we would have gotten electrocuted if we touched it, or what.

My worst accidental kitchen failure was getting burned by my ramen, and launching it across my flat, right onto my cell phone. The phone miraculously survived after leaving it out, open long enough for the water to evaporate. Other than that, I'm very good in a kitchen.

 

[KaiRai]

I'd say my worst is getting up, tired as hell and hungover, and pouring milk and coffee into a bowl and cereal and milk into my mug.

Needless to say I was unhappy at how retarded this made me look.

 

[smearyllama]

First time I cooked pancakes, from mix enough for 4 I had half of one and had to throw out my frying pan, that is my biggest failure, not too bad.

Ah yes. My first time making pancakes I tried to make a monster one. The outcome:

Spoiler: Pancake lovers beware!

Oh. My. God. I made one of those this morning.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

Hmmm... I made popcorn in the microwave at one point. Silly me, it was supposed to be popped in a popper, but it came out okay.

I think my biggest fail was the night I tried to make tomato-soaked zucchini for my housemates and I to eat with french bread. Instead of tomato paste, I used tomato sauce, and a LOT of it. Still, we just simmered it down with some extra garlic, onion, oregano and basil, and made a kickass zucchini marinara.

 

[Caeko]

Well, speaking of microwaves. I've had many of those store bought soups blown all over the microwave. Rarely happens now as I've learned to cover the bowls with papertowls to catch the mess.

This isn't realy cooking, but I've blown up so many glasses as a teenager making hot tea in the microwave. I would grab a glass, open up a teabag, and put it in the microwave for about 2 minutes forgetting the water. Realy would piss of the parents haha.

 

[emeraldrafael]

The day i put tin foil in the microwave. I saw my uncle grill with it and thought i could heat it up

whew.. that was a fun trip from the fire marshal.

 

[WhoaItsBrett]

A couple months back...I burnt ramen noodles.
I felt like a failure.

 

[Roamin11]

So I was making dinner one night, beef Quesadillas, and I was so egar to get them done, so I started making them. Shredded the cheese, cut the onions, slice the peppers, fried em up. Was sitting eating them with a friend and he was like "Justin these are awsome vegetarian Quesadillas!!"

Thats when I noticed... I forgot the beef DX

 

[Eumersian]

I didn't, but my brother almost burned the house down trying to make tea. He wasn't doing it remotely right. He just had a few leaves in some water in a pot on the stove, turned all the way up. Not a recipe for success, lemme tell you.

Though I can recount more than one instance where I burnt off my arm hairs while lighting the grill.

 

[Tsunimo]

I accidentaly put 2 waffles in the microwave for 90 seconds once. I took them out, dropped the plate on the floor, then ran to the shower to pour water all over my leg because the 150º waffle syrup was all over it. Luckily the plate didn't shatter.

I've had the same thing happen with popcorn... hurt for the next 2 weeks at least

 

[Something Amyss]

I was in Culinary Class about 5 years ago when I put a pot of something in the microwave, sparks flew, I looked like an idiot. On the plus side, I've never done that again.

In my electronics course in high school, one guy earned the nickname "sparky" because he sstarted soldering something...While it was still plugged in.

As for the topic itself, almost everything I do in the kitchen is fail. Granted, I have mastered the art of boiling water. On a good day, I can even use it to prepare macaroni and cheese.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I was making mac and cheese while half asleep, and put the macaroni in as soon as I filled the pot with water, before boiling it. An hour and a half later when it finally finished cooking, it was so chewy and pasty that I threw it out.
Also, heating a quiche in the oven. Without turning the oven on. I wondered why it wasn't done after four hours of waiting.
And finally, in my foods class last year, somebody somehow forgot to take their cake out of the oven, so it came out looking like asphalt.