Last words to The Escapist
- Thread starter chronobreak
- Start date
Recommended Videos
"You will never escape me. I shall haunt these forums forever"
*gets dragged off to hell because he wasnt a good person*
*gets dragged off to hell because he wasnt a good person*
"ESCAPISTS!!! Soon I will leave this world, this site, and all of you behind. It's too late for me... Over the years I have amassed a secret fortune that now amounts to over 200 million dollars. As my last wish, I want you to divide it between yourselves. It's *cough* hidden at 65 *cough* 5 *cough**cough* *falls over and dies*."
Like that, correcting someone about a childrens show...or raving about Warcraft some more, y'know.Nicragomi said:
I'm Sure You'll Be Back. How Could Anyone Not Think That? Because Everyone Knows Bears Are Completely Safe Of Course. To Be Fair, You Might Not Have The Essential Rabid E Bear Handbook.George144 said:
But Please Don't Die
Like a bear doing a guitar solo while on fire and riding a t-rex?Armored Prayer said:
Because that's most likely what I'd put.
I wonder if any of you will actually miss me at all...
"My body may have died, but part of my soul has been stolen by this website, so I shall live as long as it does."
"My body may have died, but part of my soul has been stolen by this website, so I shall live as long as it does."
Party? No, we are just wearing these paper crowns because... we rule the world now. Want a country?Neonbob said:
I'd probably make some inflammatory post that would get me banned for sure, just so there was no going back. I don't see that happening any time in the near future, however.
(As of September 31st, 2009)
Combined's Last Will and Testament as according to Combitech Industries.
Hereth be recorded the last words of Combined,
"I wish I could've given one more cookie."
In addition, hereth be recorded his final wishes, before he was shut off by the all-knowing, all-seeing, benevolent benefactors who we praise as our most divine and holy masters, whose law we obey without question and said robotic Combine personnel tried to protect, who are superior to humans in all ways imaginable, except perhaps mobility. They have been recorded using Combitech Auditory Recording devices. Here followeth the transcript:
"Good evening, Dear Citizens. It is I, your only and most (not at all) beloved Metrocop. It may have reached your ears that I will be shut off permanently and disassembled immediately in a short amount of time. Indeed, that is true. It appears that my time of use has passed and I will be remade into peaceful technology. While such a fate is, in my opinion, dishonourable, I do fully trust my Combine masters. They know what's best for us all.
To you all I would like to say a few words. First off, The Escapist has been both a home and a sanctuary for my fragile, insane personality to reside within. Most of the community are some of the greatest people I have ever met. Those who I consider close friends have already received personal notifications. As for the rest of my Citizens, although some of you have a problems, say, somewhat mediocre grammar; communist views; elitist personality and so on, I still love you all very much. You're all, honestly speaking, great people. And I do hope I gave you enough cookies and greeted you enough times to be remembered.
So, a toast to the Escapist, a magazine with excellent articles, videos and an even better community. Remain as you were, Citizens. In the millennia of my continued existence, I will surely miss each and everyone of you, whether I remember your name or not. Oh, and enclosed with this should be a packet of an infinite bag of cookies. Remember: Do not look inside or the cookie dimension within will suck you inside and rip your flesh off. Also enclosed is my locker of utterly random things that I "collected" from Citizens and passed on to you. Take special care of the organs.
P.S. To a Red-Free Existence. If Redness becomes rampant, stunsticks are under couch."
As was recorded, so will be done. CombiTech industries have now shut off said Metrocop and will proceed to melt him down and recast him as tools you are likely to use in the future.
All of Combined's property, unless otherwise mentioned in private letters or this will goes to his next of kin, if possible. If not, to CombiTech industries. Check to see if:
A)Mysterious Bag
B)Mysterious Locker
are properly attached or delivered and are not in any way damaged. Combitech industries will not be held responsible for anything that might happen to property of passed on personnel.
Here signeth the parties of the aforementioned legal document.
Escapist Citizens
Combitech Industries chairman, Number 5942 and Combined.
That would be my last post. If I'm going out, I'm going out legally!
