Lets talk English English!

[Kurokami]

I want to get this out right away, I'm an American. I also have some self-respect so I don't use or will ever speak with an English accent.

That said, I have a fondness for hearing someone speak English English. I really enjoy hearing a dirty-mouthed chap, or better yet a chapette, curse up the room. I'd go even as far as saying that I have a extensive, but unpracticed, English English vocabulary.

So Escapists, lets hear your best English English!

By the way, what the hell is a tosser? I've heard it in English English a few times but for the life of me I can't figure out what it means.

If you need some help: http://www.effingpot.com/index.shtml

Tosser = wank, I believe.

 

[Ayrav]

"Are you having a girrafe? Someone half inched my sharon stone! Ugh, I'm in so much barney rubble, you just don't have a scooby doo."

Fantastic!

Are you having a laugh? Some one's stolen my phone! I'm in so much trouble, you don't have a clue.

I call shenanigans, NO WAY your not a Proper English speaker.

 

[Jaywebbs]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=A%20-%20Tosser
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tosser
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Tosser (scroll down to thesaurus)

All sources say Wanker

 

[Jaywebbs]

"Are you having a girrafe? Someone half inched my sharon stone! Ugh, I'm in so much barney rubble, you just don't have a scooby doo."

Fantastic!

Are you having a laugh? Some one's stolen my phone! I'm in so much trouble, you don't have a clue.

I call shenanigans, NO WAY your not a Proper English speaker.

Florida Born and raise, I do not speak Proper English, I do however speak Google, http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

I have a habit of using rhyming slang, which annoys my Yank friends.

"Are you having a girrafe? Someone half inched my sharon stone! Ugh, I'm in so much barney rubble, you just don't have a scooby doo."

I set the challenge of a non "english" english speaker to translate it. Winner gets a Joe Blake

EDIT: Over the "Zee" over "Zed" thing. I'm British and I missed the joke as well because I say "Zed". I also say "Nought" instead of zero sometimes

The joke is that Americans say "Zee." The correct pronunciation is Zed and never let anyone tell you differently. Seriously that annoys me that millions of British, Australian, Canadian and American children grew up with the idea that you say Zee because of shows like Sesame Street. It's Zed! Not zee ZED.

I'm South Australian, we seem to have a more refined accent than that of the rest of the country (or the educated here do) and so I find it funny when I went to England and when talking to the English on XBL when I hear a Brit who doesn't actually speak proper English. (The best example I can think of at the moment is from the film Billy Elliot and that "FOCK USE!" style of speaking).

 

[Jaywebbs]

Why not say "British" english or "proper" english. English english just makes you sound like an uneducated twit.

Because a truly educated person would know that referring to any form of English as "proper" is like looking at several piles of feces and claiming one is better smelling and tasting then the rest, and although it may be true, in the end it's still crap.

This is a good argument but the point really wasn't about using a technical term, just a grammatically correct term. saying something like, "English English" isn't grammatically correct. First of all, it would have to have a hyphen. Second of all, by him using "English English" it's as though the second English "fulfills" the first; implying that other terms such as "American English" isn't real English. Therefore, it is just as bad as saying "proper" in your argument. Thus, your point's null anyways.

Having said that, it still bugs me that he said "English English" in a thread about English!

I bow to a logic superior to that of my own

 

[Ayrav]

Why not say "British" english or "proper" english. English english just makes you sound like an uneducated twit.

Because a truly educated person would know that referring to any form of English as "proper" is like looking at several piles of feces and claiming one is better smelling and tasting then the rest, and although it may be true, in the end it's still crap.

This is a good argument but the point really wasn't about using a technical term, just a grammatically correct term. saying something like, "English English" isn't grammatically correct. First of all, it would have to have a hyphen. Second of all, by him using "English English" it's as though the second English "fulfills" the first; implying that other terms such as "American English" isn't real English. Therefore, it is just as bad as saying "proper" in your argument. Thus, your point's null anyways.

Having said that, it still bugs me that he said "English English" in a thread about English!

I guess I was using English as reference to the landmass and English as the language, like I said that is what I thought is was called. England English? That seems pretty short-sighted now that I've typed it out .

 

[Starnerf]

I had a physics teach two years back who was from Canada. He usually sounded pretty American, but would occasionally slip in an "aboot". He only said "zed" once. I know because every other time he said "zee", so it stood out.

 

[101194]

Very well, 101194 shall adjust his broken Monical *adjust* Cherio Tops and Bottoms and all that chaps!

 

[blackfrancis567]

By the way, what the hell is a tosser? I've heard it in English English a few times but for the life of me I can't figure out what it means.

As far as I'm aware, a "tosser" is the same thing as a "wanker".

That it is

 

[bluepilot]

In the spirit of asking questions, do english people actually say "zed" instead of "zee" when they're talking about the letter "z" or is that just jokingly?

Yes, some British people, particulary to the North are rather akin to that kind of pronunciation. `Zee` is more American I think

As a Northern lass I do not speak `English-English` myself but speak the Geordie dialect`

Some examples:

How man, packet in! (Please desist what you are doing)

come orra here (Come here please)

wha` ya de-ing (What are you doing)

pack in scrushin us (will you please move over, as you are squashing me)

ye get wha yer given or ye get nowt (Be grateful for what you have)

I`m ganning oot (I am going out)

Geordies also have a tendancy to add `like` to the end of sentances

 

[Snotnarok]

I wanted to know (but never wanted to bother with a topic on it) why do the english call a ball point pen a biro. I looked it up and all I found was "a ball point pen is often refereed to as a biro" leaving me still wondering the reason.

I get bonnet and boot, water closet and other such terms but biro? I'm going to make a guess and say it was an early brand of ball point pen.

 

[GHMonkey]

I have a habit of using rhyming slang, which annoys my Yank friends.

"Are you having a girrafe? Someone half inched my sharon stone! Ugh, I'm in so much barney rubble, you just don't have a scooby doo."

I set the challenge of a non "english" english speaker to translate it. Winner gets a Joe Blake

EDIT: Over the "Zee" over "Zed" thing. I'm British and I missed the joke as well because I say "Zed". I also say "Nought" instead of zero sometimes

The joke is that Americans say "Zee." The correct pronunciation is Zed and never let anyone tell you differently. Seriously that annoys me that millions of British, Australian, Canadian and American children grew up with the idea that you say Zee because of shows like Sesame Street. It's Zed! Not zee ZED.

I'm South Australian, we seem to have a more refined accent than that of the rest of the country (or the educated here do) and so I find it funny when I went to England and when talking to the English on XBL when I hear a Brit who doesn't actually speak proper English. (The best example I can think of at the moment is from the film Billy Elliot and that "FOCK USE!" style of speaking).

That Fock Youse sounds like a brooklyn accent. same damn thing.

i dont think we can say that there is such a thing as an American accent though. i guess the accepted accent is the northeastern accent. but lemme tell you, the full on texan/Louisianian/Kentuckian accent sound nothing like it. i know the same goes for other countries as well.

p.s. IT IS ZEE haha, i dont really care as long as the message gets across.

 

[Actual]

I wanted to know (but never wanted to bother with a topic on it) why do the english call a ball point pen a biro. I looked it up and all I found was "a ball point pen is often refereed to as a biro" leaving me still wondering the reason.

I get bonnet and boot, water closet and other such terms but biro? I'm going to make a guess and say it was an early brand of ball point pen.

Feller who invented the ballpoint pen was called Biro.

And it is, most definitely, pronounced "Zed". I always wondered why the Americans changed this as most of their changes were for simplicity, this seems to be random.

OP: If you enjoy hearing silly English slang have a watch of Crank 2, there's some corkers there.

 

[Dragon_of_red]

I love using country slang, because people get confused so much if they dont know what you talking about, i like using the word "Bollocks" even though im an Aussie, it pisses people off.

 

[Ayrav]

OP: If you enjoy hearing silly English slang have a watch of Crank 2, there's some corkers there.

Oh I've seen Crank 2 .

 

[WhiteTiger225]

In the spirit of asking questions, do english people actually say "zed" instead of "zee" when they're talking about the letter "z" or is that just jokingly?

I still love "Mock The Week" (Or was it "Have I Got News For You") where they started making fun of one mans name because it was spelt with a Z, yet the Z was pronounced as a G because of the defunked letter "Zog"

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

"Are you having a girrafe? Someone half inched my sharon stone! Ugh, I'm in so much barney rubble, you just don't have a scooby doo."

I set the challenge of a non "english" english speaker to translate it. Winner gets a Joe Blake

Okay the best I could do was:

"Are you having a *******? Someone pinched my ****** *****! Ugh, im in so much trouble, you just don't have a ****** ***."

The trouble with rhyming slang is the fact that many words don't make sense at all. For instance if you say "Hampton" (meaing "prick") you'll think: "Wait a minute, how does the word "hampton" rhyme with "prick"?"

Well it doesn't, because Hampton refer's to another word as well which isn't being spoken, which is: "Hampton Wick", and the word "Wick" of course, rhymes with "prick".

Same thing goes with "China", which supposedly means "mate". "China Plate" = "Mate". A little easier to guess that one, but how the hell is anyone supposed to figure out "Hampton Wick"? : S

So basically there are simply too many words in rhyming slang that aren't being spoken at all, making it more than difficult to really learn.

But it's still funny. Here's one for you!

So you might wear a real fancy whistle, along with some decent tomfoolery. But that still don't change the fact that you smell like Eartha, have bigger Bristols than me Dutch and your face looks like a Berk. Now piss off!

Anyone wanna take a shot at what I just wrote? : P


On Topic: Swedish is my primary language, and from what I've heard most english speakers have said that our english has a very neutral accent, that doesn't sound particularly influenced by any nation.

There's one thing I have a problem with though, and that is the word "Trousers". The reason for this is because the word "trousers" in our language means "womens underwear" ("trosor"), and it just sounds so silly when you're basically saying "womens underwears" when you're refering to your own pants. So I prefer using "pants" instead of "trousers", each and every time for that reason. Call me neurotic if you must. : P

 

[AWC Viper]

Blimey! i was butcher's 'ookin' at me dabs an' then me
legs an' i thought i should butcher's 'ook in
da mirror so i gok wan see me dots an' dyes an'
hair but then me old dorris called me down
for g-skin skinner. Nuff said, yeah?

that about as english as i can go.

To crack Judy's teacup = deflower a virgin. China plate = mate. Pork pies = lies. Quickened/quickly = aroused. J. Arthur Rank = wank. Billy no-mates = alone. Chrimbo din-din = Christmas dinner. Grotty scotch bint = ugly scottish girl. 6s&7s = crazy. Trouble and strife = wife, apples and pears = upstairs. Barrister, bobby, lorry = lawyer, policeman, truck.