Lets talk English English!

[Mullahgrrl]

Side note I had a teacher named Mr. Wanker

Hilarious! I bet he caught no end of shit about it!

It was Elementary school so no one knew what it meant but the parents, but it's probably the reason he taught only Elementary.

The only way he could have taught at higher levels would be in a pornflick.

 

[Iskenator67]

I speak Redneck English. Once you got good grammar ain't nobody can't never change it. I failed English twice in high school.

 

[Randomologist]

In the spirit of asking questions, do english people actually say "zed" instead of "zee" when they're talking about the letter "z" or is that just jokingly?

Yes, some British people, particulary to the North are rather akin to that kind of pronunciation. `Zee` is more American I think

As a Northern lass I do not speak `English-English` myself but speak the Geordie dialect`

*snip*

Regional accents are great fun with American tourists. I live in the South Wales Valleys, and although I don't have the accent, people are easily thrown by "arright, butt?" (Butt being short for butty, i.e a friend).

 

[Skeleon]

Apparently it's a joke Canada missed out on then, as we say "zed".

Or at least I do...

As kids, they taught us in school to pronounce it "Zed". I didn't believe my father at first when he told me that ZZ Top was pronounced "Zee Zee Top" for that reason. Damn the educational system!

 

[microwaviblerabbit]

I want to get this out right away, I'm an American. I also have some self-respect so I don't use or will ever speak with an English accent.

That said, I have a fondness for hearing someone speak English English. I really enjoy hearing a dirty-mouthed chap, or better yet a chapette, curse up the room. I'd go even as far as saying that I have a extensive, but unpracticed, English English vocabulary.

So Escapists, lets hear your best English English!

By the way, what the hell is a tosser? I've heard it in English English a few times but for the life of me I can't figure out what it means.

If you need some help: http://www.effingpot.com/index.shtml

Why not say "British" english or "proper" english. English english just makes you sound like an uneducated twit.

yes I'm trolling but THIS FUCKING BOTHERS ME YOU BLOODY LIL WANKER!

lol.

anyways.

I heard that a tosser was someone who was big and strong but had very little brains. Like a bouncer in America... only in a negative sense. or more negative at least.

I guess I'm not as acquainted with the nomenclature as I thought... I'm not going to change the title or my post though as to hopefully rile up some more Proper English speakers. I think your definition of tosser fits better then the 'another word for wank' definition.

Thanks for that bit of dirty mouthing .

Tosser means Wanker. As does spunky+ name, self badgering (this one comes up a lot less), alos the hand symbol. Make a fist around an imaginary....we will say carrot. Hold it palm facing you and so the 'carrot' makes a small T shape with your arm. (Or perpendicular to your arm if you understand.) Then wave from side to side.

Also. Take the first 2 fingers and stick them up at someone the same way you would give someone the finger. This is a huge English insult.

What you are saying is: You stupid french haven't beaten me yet and so I will ravage your daughters and kill you.

(Description of why. Those 2 fingers are the fingers needed to fire a longbow. During the hundred years war, when the French captured English soldiers they would cut off those fingers, effectively disarming them permanently. Thus the insult of waving those fingers.)

Also, where I was from, the letter t does not exist within words. Butter is pronounced bu..er. DO not say the t. This includes names. Martin is Marrin.

Other insults: Gaylord, Batty Boy and Bender all mean that you are gay.

A boffin is a smart person who is a little too smart.

A townie is a chav without money. Consequently they drink cheap boze in Children's playgrounds and smoke. Then they break everything possible. They also wear TN hats.

A wog means a "Worker of the government" and is a derogatory for anyone who isn't white. Basically, we brought you here to do the horrible jobs. Blackie means someone is black. SO a Blackie doctor is a doctor who is black.

 

[microwaviblerabbit]

However, in England

A SKINHEAD IS NOT A NEO-NAZI

There are: Communist skinheads. Normal skinheads. Poor Skinheads. Rich skinheads. CHav Skinheads. ETC

 

[BiscuitsJoe]

'ello there mate. Was just gonna pop out for a quick drive in the 'ol lorry to go 'round the corner for a biscuit, care to join?

Also loo.

 

[Ayrav]

Blimey! i was butcher's 'ookin' at me dabs an' then me
legs an' i thought i should butcher's 'ook in
da mirror so i gok wan see me dots an' dyes an'
hair but then me old dorris called me down
for g-skin skinner. Nuff said, yeah?

that about as english as i can go.

To crack Judy's teacup = deflower a virgin. China plate = mate. Pork pies = lies. Quickened/quickly = aroused. J. Arthur Rank = wank. Billy no-mates = alone. Chrimbo din-din = Christmas dinner. Grotty scotch bint = ugly scottish girl. 6s&7s = crazy. Trouble and strife = wife, apples and pears = upstairs. Barrister, bobby, lorry = lawyer, policeman, truck.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, ENGLISH ENGLISH!

 

[Spaggiari]

Why not say "British" english or "proper" english. English english just makes you sound like an uneducated twit.

Because a truly educated person would know that referring to any form of English as "proper" is like looking at several piles of feces and claiming one is better smelling and tasting then the rest, and although it may be true, in the end it's still crap.

Your actions have earned you +3 in the respect stat.

 

[T-Bone24]

In the spirit of asking questions, do english people actually say "zed" instead of "zee" when they're talking about the letter "z" or is that just jokingly?

No, that's true, we say "zed". Sometimes used for comic effect when we talk about Jay-Z.

 

[Lukeje]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=A%20-%20Tosser
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tosser
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Tosser (scroll down to thesaurus)

All sources say Wanker

Even the ultimate source:

1. One who masturbates; wanker's doom, disability caused by excessive masturbation.

2. An objectionable or contemptible person.

Also. Take the first 2 fingers and stick them up at someone the same way you would give someone the finger. This is a huge EnglishWelsh insult.

What you are saying is: You stupid french haven't beaten me yet and so I will ravage your daughters and kill you.

(Description of why. Those 2 fingers are the fingers needed to fire a longbow. During the hundred years war, when the French captured EnglishWelsh soldiers they would cut off those fingers, effectively disarming them permanently. Thus the insult of waving those fingers.)

And that's an urban legend (at least according to QI).

 

[Hutz]

I've actually never heard the term "English English" before.

That's because most respectable English folk would use the phrase 'Queen's English', eh what!

 

[TheOrangeSocks]

Why d'you all say 'erb instead of H(!)erb? There's a fucking H in it.. And it's aluMINIum not aluminum..

As for "ass", for us it's a quadraped of the horse family or a stupid person.. You're looking for ARSE..

Cookies are biscuits, candy is sweets, sneakers are trainers, sweaters are jumpers, pants are trousers and pissed means you're drunk, not angry.

Anyway - if you want some neat british profanity - use these a lot - bloody, bollocks, nancy boy, plonker, bugger, slag, tosser, tosspot, wanker of course, git and/or bastard. Shagging is having sex and snogging is "making out". Going to the John instead of going to the loo just sounds... wrong.. it kind of implies that a man named John is waiting for you in there.

And then there's the weird stuff you do with the present perfect tense.. Like instead of saying "I've already seen that film" you often say "I already saw that film." I just think it sounds completely and utterly bonkers.

 

[Dys]

In the spirit of asking questions, do english people actually say "zed" instead of "zee" when they're talking about the letter "z" or is that just jokingly?

Every english speaking country other than America (and possibly Canada) pronounces it zed.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-snip-

anyways.

I heard that a tosser was someone who was big and strong but had very little brains. Like a bouncer in America... only in a negative sense. or more negative at least.

I'd laugh if you called a bouncer a tosser while in England.
there would be a hell of a mess though... well, depends on who the bouncer is.

 

[Smudge91]

Why d'you all say 'erb instead of H(!)erb? There's a fucking H in it.. And it's aluMINIum not aluminum..

As for "ass", for us it's a quadraped of the horse family or a stupid person.. You're looking for ARSE..

Cookies are biscuits, candy is sweets, sneakers are trainers, sweaters are jumpers, pants are trousers and pissed means you're drunk, not angry.

Anyway - if you want some neat british profanity - use these a lot - bloody, bollocks, nancy boy, plonker, slag, tosser, tosspot, wanker of course, git and/or bastard. Shagging is having sex and snogging is "making out". Going to the John instead of going to the loo just sounds... wrong.. it kind of implies that a man named John is waiting for you in there.

And then there's the weird stuff you do with the present perfect tense.. Like instead of saying "I've already seen that film" you often say "I already saw that film." I just think it sounds completely and utterly bonkers.

I was basically going to say this. We have to have some of the best swear words in the world, i'd add bugger too its a minor swear word now unfortunatly.
OT: I had an american teacher at college and she spoke proper english and it just sounded wierd with her accent. The only thing that bugged me was she still pronouned the "i" sound in words like anti and iraq wrong and i watched a video which kept pronouncing amino acids wrong, my days that was an annoying video.

 

[atol]

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels has some crazy English English in it, so much so that they put up subtitles during a couple parts.

 

[scrambledeggs]

aye, bloke? that's beast.

oops?

 

[O277]

Fiddy Cent = Fifty pence, much better name I think,

Tally ho chaps!

 

[Nickolai77]

*rolls eyes* All this "English English" everyone's talking about is cockney! It's not the "English English" accent because it is one of several hundred regional dialects, although granted, it's vocabulary is rather varied.