Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Pm0n3y]

CA/Magnus's Dark Matter blast implodes near me. The shockwave from the blast sends me hurtling into a wall. As i get up, i see a guy running towards me wearing a santa hat and flailing around two turkeys. As he gets closer, two armblades sprout from me, and when he gets close enough I narrowly dodge one of his turkeys and slice him clean in half.

“Hm. I guess he should've used one of his RP characters.” I say, going back into the Gamestop.

 

[terribleyetfun]

Spoiler

okay fine time to bring out the big guns

I respawn in the food court behind the counter of a taco bell I stick my hand out and fire a quick blast of lightning upwards breaking the lights above me and darkening the surrounding area I jump over the counter and run into a clothing store and hide in one of the racks hoping no one will find me.

"aha the perfect plan" I mutter as I wait for any person unlucky enough to come near me my hands letting off small sparks

 

[Claymorez]

I fall down out of the ventilation shaft and land on terribleyetfun and cut him in half from the right shoulder to the left hip with my light saber.

Then glancing down at the corpse as it fries from the lightsaber and electricity cables I mutter, "you look a bit shocked"

 

[Sam G]

My ears prick up at the sound of a terrible pun. I summon my Stand, who throws me at Claymorez, and I break his kneecaps with my golf-clubs before throwing him into a fountain. A really deep one.

 

[Claymorez]

as I fall into the water, looking up at sam's grinning face, I begin to smile as I take out whitey the stapler which i pick pocketed in sam_g's haste and then drop it at the 1000ft deep fountain and then as the pressure kills me I respawn in the bookstore - he will never unite the stapler's again!!

 

[Claymorez]

Spoiler

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs35/f/2008/239/0/b/Tao_Ren___wektor_by_mamucisko.jpg

new profile picture for you sam_g at least i think its the same character

Sam_g's eyes only!

 

[Shapsters]

Suddenly, the books surrounding Claymorez catch on fire, a steady flame was coming from the entrance of the store. Smoke filled the room and the whole store wa snow aflame. Suddenly, the flame stopped and a voice was heard,

"Dammit, fuckin thing out of ammo already?" a voiced yelled, muffled by a helmet, "Dammit, have to use the ol' Kitty Rifle I suppose."

Suddenly, Master Kitty jumped through the flame and grabbed Claymorez by the scruff of his neck,

"Wait... who the fuck are you? Where is Ram?" Master Kitty shook his head and jumped out of the bookstore, "What exactly is going on here? Wait... am I in a mall?

Spoiler: I have taken my super badass character Master Kitty from Avatar Adventures!

*cheering* Please... hold your applause.

 

[Claymorez]

As master kitty drags me off I get hold of myself again and then smack him in the balls causing him to drop me. Then quick as lightning I grab the closest book, 'the OXFORD DICTONARY" and then bludgeon him to death and walk off.

"amateur".

Spoiler

A Stealthy Christmas

Have A Stealthy Christmas!
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.
Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
Was triply-redundant linked to the Blue Cube,
And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense,
That nothing that flew could slip through our defense.
When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter,
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter,
I dialed up the gain and then quick as a flash,
Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.
And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded,
An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE"!
On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk!
And scramble our fighters -- let's send the whole flock!
Launch decoys and missiles! Use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!
They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged,
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.
So we sent out some recon to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea,
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleighbells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.
Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade,
All the web of defenses we've carefully made.
Just look how the gadgets we use to protect us,
In other ways alter, transform, and affect us.
They keep us from things that make life more worth living,
Like love for each other, and thoughts of just giving.
But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.
So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!

 

[CounterAttack]

I transform back to me and then trigger another Associate. An armoured suit forms around me, complete with Tesla cannon.
I jump down from the second floor and fire my cannon at SirBryghtside.

 

[CounterAttack]

Spoiler: SirBryghtside

Um, it's kind of a Tesla cannon, so you wouldn't be able to reflect a lightning attack, especially if I'm still connected to one end.

 

[Claymorez]

Spoiler

I wake up in a strangely familiar mall.

I have no memory of what has happened, apart from vague wisps - a chocolate fudge ice cream, some dude making out with a ghost, me making out with that same some dude, and, most prominently, some twat with god powers.

Ah screw it, I think, as even these wisps fade away.

I decide to go into the golf 'n' staplers store and grab a packet of golf tees, stick them to the end of a long stapler, and start bludgeoning claymorez with it.

Spoiler: :)

Woohoo! It's back!

And if you were wondering, these old thread references are going to be infrequent, but I will still make them a bit

i am no where fucking near u atm in the mall if anything ur beating urself right now!!!!

 

[Claymorez]

I hit the bullet from the cannon back, and Attack promptly hits it back to me.

It ends up like a tennis match, the rocket going to and fro, until I accidently hit it into claymorez, who is vaporised instantly.

I then grab the THE LAST OXFORD DICTIONARY from his corpse, and throw it at a stunned Attack, killing him.

"Now that's what I call verbal abuse," I say, and I walk off, lighting a cigar.

Spoiler

no God power item

*cough* hypocrite *cough*

I go to the zoo and unlock the elephant freeing the elephant that never forgets.....TO KILL, jump on it back and rampage! - heads towards lightning

 

[Claymorez]

Excuse me - since when did we care about continuity? I just killed Attack with a dictionary

you have a point

Thrown by sirbrightsides actions from my elephant i land on his cigar and burn out one of my eyes - "NOT AGAIN!!!!!" - then get trampeled to death by the Elephant who never forgets...TO KILL!!!

 

[CounterAttack]

I respawn in the Gamestop, telefragging Pm0n3y.

 

[fanklok]

I dive into the MGS fan store and put on snakes ultra tight rubber suit from 4 and hide in a box and stealthily sneak up behind counter strike and break his neck

 

[Claymorez]

I respawn and when I enter gamestop i see an orange box mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhh i think oranges.........I pull the box off and reach down and grab an or....wait a sec. Fanklok grabs me and throws me back, however I get in a nice roundhouse kick as i fall. Fanklok staggers bck and then comes at me with his knife. I grab it and then we fall to the ground and wrestle for the blade. Then Fanklok throws me back into a stereo and music comes on - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmYfRt-hGpI - Then I roll back to my feet and grab some games from the nearby stack and throw them at fanklok like shurakins and fanklok goes down finally......(the copy of assassins creed 2 decapitated him ).....I then walk off ready for my next victim

 

[fanklok]

I respawn in TF2 themed store with fully functioning Heavy's gun which i take rev and walk into the middle of the hall firing at no one and in no general directing shouting "cry some more... cry some more"

 

[CounterAttack]

I respawn in the TF Industries store as well. I grab a knife, a rocket launcher and a Dead Ringer. I sneak up behind fanklok and backstab him.
"Dun-da-Da-Daaa!" I imitate the revenge kill music, then rocket jump up to the second floor.

 

[fanklok]

I respawn in the apple store grab a p-p-p-powerbook (leads to ED) [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/P-p-p-powerbook] track down claymorez and beat him to death with it... twice... before he respawns

 

[Ren3004]

The elephant is running loose down the corridor, going straight at the electronics store where claymorez is. He tries to kill it with thrown game discs, but fails.


Suddenly a mysterious warrior jumps down from the top floor, lands on top of the elephant and stabs through its skull with an ice pick. A jet of blood bursts from the creature's wound, spraying the floor. The elephant falls dead, and the warrior steps down gracefully from its head.

He takes off his cloak, revealing Ren's face under it.

Spoiler

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH It's back!