Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Sam G]

I respawn in a location geographically similar to where Bryghtside is. I sneak up behind him, put my arms under his and grab his chest.
"Aaaw, they're gone..." I mutter sadly.
"What are?" He asks. It is at this point I realize I'm the only one with complete memories of the previous mall, and jump to the conclusion that I must be the messiah, and hence, immortal. "Oh, how lovely!" I declare, and run around punching the people with the largest and most deadly weapons to test this theory out.

 

[fanklok]

I then flee the store and spot Sam G and violently maim him with the p-p-p-powerbook then its 12 hit fatality time, only 23 kills to go

 

[Ren3004]

Continuing my walk around the mall, I notice sam's dead body, still warm.

"Hmmm... I'm getting closer."

 

[Sam G]

I die, which is a surprise, as I was under the impression that I was immortal. Ah, well. I respawn, spot Ren acting like a badass, grab him by the throat with my left hand (fun fact: Sam G is left-handed. He wields Blacky with that hand as well) and reach for Whitey. But he's gone... Rather than shoot Ren at point-blank range with a staple, I settle for kicking him in the love-nuts and running off to find a new stapler.

 

[CounterAttack]

I fire three rockets at Ren3004 in quick succession, then move into some cover to reload.

 

[Ren3004]

I throw my ice pick at a rocket, catching all of them in the blast radius. I pick up a spoon from my clothes and find Attack behind cover. I them beat him to death with the spoon.

 

[fanklok]

Tactical slide into Bioshock store then (never played it) doin some gene splicey stuff or how ever it works then charge out onto the floor and fire bees from my wrist spiderman style (it works like that right?) killing stationary user i have yet to name 22 to go

 

[CounterAttack]

My Dead Ringer triggers, and I run around behind Ren and backstab him.

 

[Ren3004]

I grab Attack's arm and twist it, then approach the Bioshock store holding a can of bug spray.

 

[Sam G]

I enter the Golf 'n' Staples store, meet a vampire with an awesome staple gun, kill him with my Stand, and take it. Obtained "Cursed Sight"!
I pick it up, holster it in my left pocket, switch Blacky to my right, and leave the store.
When I get outside I decide to test out my new weapon. I pull the Cursed Sight out of my pocket, twirl it around and take a few shots at random passer-by. For every shot I take, I notice a small cut opens up in my hand. How odd...

 

[Ren3004]

Using the bug spray to defend myself from the bees, I manage to reach fanklok. I grab him by his throat and throw him on top of a Big Daddy drill, killing him.

 

[CounterAttack]

I catch up to Ren and blast a rocket point-blank into him, killing both of us.

I respawn in TF Industries and grab a flamethrower and a baseball bat.

 

[fanklok]

Final Last Stand

i fire my pistol and kill ren and his human shield then after enough time has passed i get back up and start the red smoke to signal a sentry gun drop (Hardline ftw) set it up and dive into the bulletproof everything store

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn in the hardware store and start improvising a new weapon.

 

[Sam G]

"Improvise all you want, it won't save you from the Cursed Sight!" I yell, rolling into the hardware store and shooting a bunch of demonic flaming staples at Ren.

 

[Ren3004]

I deflect the staples with a nail gun and hear sam screaming. His hand seems to have caught on fire.

 

[Sam G]

Now it's time you died! an evil voice emanates from the Cursed Sight. I feel my own hand turning around, so that the demonic stapler is now pointed at my head. "No... I don't want to die like this..." I plead.
Not so fast, dude! a high-pitched voice yells. My beloved Whitey comes flying through the window of the hardware store and fires some shots into the Cursed Sight.
"What? You can talk!?" I ask to the floating stapler.
Yep! he replies. For some awesome reason, the spirit of your character "Livingness the Youth" is living inside this stapler! That is to say, Livingness is me!
Indeed. What a surprise this must be for you. Another voice says. I pull Blacky out of my pocket, and suddenly realize this new voice is emanating from him. As you may have guessed, I, Blacky the stapler, am in fact Death the Kid.
"Ohhh..." I say in awe.
G'day, kiddo! Yet another voice says. I pull both my golf clubs off my back, having noticed they seem to be speaking as well. Keep fighting, Sam-chan! This'll be the greatest cross-over attack ever! The left one says.
"Sam G, the ninja... How've you been...?" I ask, still somewhat awestruck.
Oh, what the bloody hell is this? Wasn't I in crappy America just a second ago? Someone get me a spliff, The other golf club mutters.
"Lawrence Lawliet... How's high school...?" I ask.
The spirits of every RP character I've ever used burst out of my weapons and stand beside me.
"With all our powers combined, we send you back to the depths of hell! Begone, monster!" We yell in unision, sending a ball of friendship at the Cursed Sight and destroying it forever. Then the spirits of my alternate personae return to my weapons, and I set off, looking for someone to kill.

 

[Ren3004]

Sam, however forgot about me. I take this chance to sneak up behind him and shoot him in the head with my nail gun.

 

[CounterAttack]

I then throw my baseball bat at Ren's head and then set him on fire. I run away giggling. =)

 

[fanklok]

I respawn in ES4 land and don the gray cowl of Nocturnal, the boots of springheel jak, monkey pants, glass cuirass, glass gloves, the eye of sithis, ring of the grey, and mundane ring. go into sneak mode and jump on counterattack mario style and sneak away.