Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

[Sam G]

"Wait, Claymorez, don't do it!" I cry in my usual voice. Claymorez falters for a second. Just a second. That's all it takes. I shoot him through each knee with my staple guns, then again in the head. (High-caliber staples: Make bullets look like a weak climax) Then I get up and limp away.

 

[Ren3004]

I hear some commotion outside and decide to investigate.

 

[Claymorez]

I re spawn in the gun store......I pick up the M95 Sniper rifle and then head off looking for Sam_g - when I find him by the Toy r us I shoot him in the knee from 50 yards - this gun can flip tanks so reason its gotta do something - Sam_g is turned into 3 separate pieces as a hole about 3 feet wide opens up in his centre killing him in about 3 seconds as the pain overrides his brain and from lack or anything being connected to his head .

 

[Pm0n3y]

"Goddammit SirBS!" I yell, resulting in the end of my pacifism. I then pull out the two novelty energy swords and charge headfirst into battle. Again.

 

[Sam G]

(Why so many 3s?)
"Agh... Alright, you got me..." The Manipulator says, convulsing. "But there are five more after me... And one of us... Let's just say you don't stand a ghost of a chance..." The Manipulator dies. I die with him.

 

[Ren3004]

I grab sam's gold clubs and rush forward to fight Pm0n3y.

 

[Sam G]

I respawn with no memories of my most recent life, except for one; Claymorez's face, standing over me as I died... I reach for my golf clubs, but find they're not there... Alright then, plan B. I grab a skateboard off a nearby shelf and hop onto it. This'll have to do as a melee weapon for now.

 

[Ren3004]

Pm0n3y and me engage in an epic battle of energy sword vs. golf clubs.

 

[Claymorez]

I come up behind Ren ready to kill him with the M95 however he sees me, spins and cuts off my left hand before killing me with the terrible pun, "looks like you need a hand".

 

[Sam G]

I come skating along in a beeline at Claymorez. "Hey, chum, you remember at the end of the first story arc in the original mall, and you were all like, "I hav teh powrs of a gdo, mwahahaah!!1" And I was all like, "CLAYMOREZ... DIE!!!!" And then I totally killed you? Yeah, that." I flip off my skateboard and smack Claymorez across the face with it, knocking most of his teeth out. Just before I deliver unto him his washing blow, I spy Ren dueling Pm0n3y with my golf-clubs. My golf-clubs.
"GRAAAAAAAGH!!!"

 

[Claymorez]

I stab sam_g in the balls and then die from blood loss.

 

[Sam G]

"Unfortunately for you, I was wearing a cup!" I cry triumphantly, before reaching into my pants and pulling out the partially-destroyed sports box. Then I turn to Ren. "Return unto me my weapons, or I'll make you cry!" I demand.

 

[Claymorez]

sam_g then falls into a man hole and is molested by wild gibbons. I respawn in the chocolate store - "willy wonker" anyone?

 

[Lullabye]

A new kick ass character appears on the scene. My sheer awesomeness fells half the opponents.

 

[Ren3004]

Pm0n3y and me are fighting on top of a chandelier (yes, there are chandeliers in the mall. Don't ask questions) and notice a new fighter in our mall who seems to have killed a lot of people.

We cut the chandelier from the ceiling and squash Lullabye. Then we resume our fight.

Spoiler

Interesting, I said an awful pun and survived...

 

[Sam G]

I am thankful for the mercy of awesome-induced death at the hands of Lullabye following my repeated monkey-gang-rape. I respawn in the fighting-tournament arena store, in the middle of one of the arenas. At the other side of the arena is an animated skeleton. "Greetings, Sam. I see you've taken it into your own hands to eliminate the seven ghosts who are currently in control of the mall. That has to stop," He says, a massive two-handed axe appearing in his hands.
"Hang on, this isn't fair! Ren nicked my weapons!" I complain.
"No-one said this fight was going to be fair, idiot!" The skeleton cries, and rushes at me at an incredible speed.

 

[Claymorez]

I then jump down from the arena spectators area and throw a bunle of cloths and a gun at sam_g, then break down into song. "When your walking down the Mall, and you see a little Ghost, Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS"

 

[Sam G]

"Hey, thanks!" I say to Claymorez, pulling the clothes on. Only then do I realize that what he has thrown at me is a Playboy bunny outfit. "Grrr..."
I turn to the ghost. "Your time on this earth is up, monstrosity! Consume bullets!" I shoot at him, fracturing a hole in his skull.
"Nooo, bullets, my one weakness!" He cries, and crumbles into dust. "That's three down..." I mutter, then turn to Claymorez once more. "Thanks for the assistance," I say, and unload the entire clip of ammo into him, before throwing the gun at him with such force that his body disentigrates.

 

[Ren3004]

I manage to throw Pm0n3y into the shards of glass on the floor, killing him. I then see sam on the floor above me and decide to go after him.