Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
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I hop on a swivelly-chair and ride down several flights of stairs at breakneck speeds to reach Ren. I pierce him through the heart with a rake, then hop off the chair and reclaim my golf clubs. Dah-dah-dah-duuuunnn! Using the newly-reclaimed golf clubs, I beat Pararaptor mercilessly until he cries.
Then I stick a rake through his eye.
Then I stick a rake through his eye.
I grab some handcuffs and I manage to attach them to sam g after he jammed a rake in Ren's eye. I drag him over to the slushie machine, hold his head under it, and fill his lungs with blueberry and banana slushie. I also get one for myself
I freeze solid into a block of human-shaped ice. "Twenty-three... is number... one..." I croak, before dying.
MEANWHILE, IN THE HOUSE STORE...
"Greetings, young man...", a voice emanates from the very walls of the house. "Tell me, are you a fan of scary movies...?"
"Oh yeah, I love those films! WASSUP!?" Bryghtside replies.
"That's actually not what I-"
"WASSUUUUP!?!?" Bryghtside interrupts.
"Shut up! I'll kill you!" The house yells, frustrated. A bookshelf flings itself at him, narrowly missing. The house sighs in exasperation. "Alright, here's the deal; There are three buttons in the next room. You need to press them in the correct order, and only then shall I reveal my true form. Otherwise, I'll crush you dead. Got it? Is that simple enough for your small, Scary Movie-enjoying mind to comprehend?"
I respawn in the CCTV shop. I spot a camera with Bryghtside on it. There's a horrible green figure in the room with him, but he can't seem to see it. Then I notice the buttons...
Bryghtside's phone rings. "Hello?"
"Remember that part in the first dungeon of Ocarina Of Time, where you have to kill those three Deku Scrubs in a particular order?"
"Yeah..."
"Alright, do you remember that order?" I ask.
"I... think so..." He replies.
"Okay, just in case, it's this: Twenty-" My voice cuts off suddenly.
"Well, looks like you're on your own, Sir Bryghtside..." The house says. "Go on then. What's the order?"
MEANWHILE, IN THE HOUSE STORE...
"Greetings, young man...", a voice emanates from the very walls of the house. "Tell me, are you a fan of scary movies...?"
"Oh yeah, I love those films! WASSUP!?" Bryghtside replies.
"That's actually not what I-"
"WASSUUUUP!?!?" Bryghtside interrupts.
"Shut up! I'll kill you!" The house yells, frustrated. A bookshelf flings itself at him, narrowly missing. The house sighs in exasperation. "Alright, here's the deal; There are three buttons in the next room. You need to press them in the correct order, and only then shall I reveal my true form. Otherwise, I'll crush you dead. Got it? Is that simple enough for your small, Scary Movie-enjoying mind to comprehend?"
I respawn in the CCTV shop. I spot a camera with Bryghtside on it. There's a horrible green figure in the room with him, but he can't seem to see it. Then I notice the buttons...
Bryghtside's phone rings. "Hello?"
"Remember that part in the first dungeon of Ocarina Of Time, where you have to kill those three Deku Scrubs in a particular order?"
"Yeah..."
"Alright, do you remember that order?" I ask.
"I... think so..." He replies.
"Okay, just in case, it's this: Twenty-" My voice cuts off suddenly.
"Well, looks like you're on your own, Sir Bryghtside..." The house says. "Go on then. What's the order?"
FLASHBACK
I scrabbled with the numbers on my phone, desperate to reach Bryghtside. "C'mon, c'mon..." He picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"
"Remember that part in the first dungeon of Ocarina Of Time, where you have to kill those three Deku Scrubs in a particular order?" I ask frantically.
"Yeah..." His reply is hesitant.
"Alright, do you remember that order?" I ask.
"I... think so..." He replies.
Dammit, "think so" isn't good enough. I started to tell him the code, but I got cut off suddenly by something sharp wrapping itself around my neck.
"No outside involvement, honey." A cold voice rang in my ear, as the sharp something wrapped itself tighter, drawing blood. I turned around, doing my best to ignore the biting pain in my neck. A woman dressed entirely in grey was holding a rope of barbed wire around my neck, pulling it tight. "You had your fights, leave Bryghtside to his own." I tried to say something witty, like "Yeah, well your mum," but speech was impossible. I slumped to the ground, and the grey lady disappeared. Bryghtside had arrived.
"Run..." I croak, before the massive blood loss overcomes me. But it was too late. The Grey Lady appeared out of nowhere behind Bryghtside and whipped him hard across the back with a strand of barbed wire, drawing blood.
The strange thing is, he seemed to enjoy it...
I scrabbled with the numbers on my phone, desperate to reach Bryghtside. "C'mon, c'mon..." He picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"
"Remember that part in the first dungeon of Ocarina Of Time, where you have to kill those three Deku Scrubs in a particular order?" I ask frantically.
"Yeah..." His reply is hesitant.
"Alright, do you remember that order?" I ask.
"I... think so..." He replies.
Dammit, "think so" isn't good enough. I started to tell him the code, but I got cut off suddenly by something sharp wrapping itself around my neck.
"No outside involvement, honey." A cold voice rang in my ear, as the sharp something wrapped itself tighter, drawing blood. I turned around, doing my best to ignore the biting pain in my neck. A woman dressed entirely in grey was holding a rope of barbed wire around my neck, pulling it tight. "You had your fights, leave Bryghtside to his own." I tried to say something witty, like "Yeah, well your mum," but speech was impossible. I slumped to the ground, and the grey lady disappeared. Bryghtside had arrived.
"Run..." I croak, before the massive blood loss overcomes me. But it was too late. The Grey Lady appeared out of nowhere behind Bryghtside and whipped him hard across the back with a strand of barbed wire, drawing blood.
The strange thing is, he seemed to enjoy it...
"Yeah, that was easy..." I mutter, respawning next to Ren. "Well, only two left to go! They don't stand a ghost of a chance!" Then, realizing I just told a terrible pun with Ren in the immediate vicinity, I spin around and fire 400 high-caliber fully-automatic bullets into him before he has the chance to do the same to me. Preventative measures, see?
The chainsaw in Ren's hands cackles evilly. It is at this point that he notices that his hands have started to bleed. He tries to drop the chainsaw, but finds that he can't.
"I'll be taking this back," Says a familiar female voice. A ghostly pair of hands reaches out, grabs the blade of the chainsaw and wrenches it out of Ren's grip. "I'll also be taking your soul!!!" One of the oddly sexy hands plunges itself into Ren's chest, pulls his heart out and crushes it. Ren looks up to see the owner of the hands.
"You..." He says with his dying breath.
"Me," Bryghtside's Hot Ghost Sister replies.
"I'll be taking this back," Says a familiar female voice. A ghostly pair of hands reaches out, grabs the blade of the chainsaw and wrenches it out of Ren's grip. "I'll also be taking your soul!!!" One of the oddly sexy hands plunges itself into Ren's chest, pulls his heart out and crushes it. Ren looks up to see the owner of the hands.
"You..." He says with his dying breath.
"Me," Bryghtside's Hot Ghost Sister replies.
I enter the mall,take a suit from scuba's R us,and dissapear into the depths of the fountain with a K-bar combat knife and a poison dart gun
I drop down from the chandelier by the fountain and decapitate sirbrightside - "You won't trick another innocent". I turn to Ren who is read to kill me. I do a cunning roll and score and get an 19 +4 which means I SCORE. Ren then believes every word I tell him next. "Sirbrightside and sam_g are leading you into a trap - the Ghosts are our FRIENDS we must protect them" I then kick him into the fountain to make sure sam_g and sir don't know what I told him.
I pop out of the fountain and choke sam to unconciousness then slit ren's throat before diving back in
This stinks I say as I enter a nearby drainage shaft.....I miss the wierd sound of clawing and cries coming from below.....GIBBONS NOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH being molested must be AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. And oddly enjoyed it