Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)
- Thread starter Claymorez
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[sub]"sweet Mary of god! Get me the hell out of this fucking briefcase! It is dark and I keep on hitting something! I also can't feel my limbs!"[/sub]
When I respawn, I decide I've found my calling. I'll become a warrior of time, resurrecting old elements of the mall as I fight. With this resolve in my heart, my colour scheme changes to a monochrome of blacks, whites and greys. I set off to rediscover THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE-CREAM, with a mechanical lion by my side, this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyrBJsdMAU0&feature=related] epic battle theme playing, and a skateboard beneath my feet. As a result of my awesome new resolve, the mall simultaneously starts to flood and catches fire.
I fall through the ceiling wearing a straw hat, blue pants, and a red vest, and land in front of Sam. "GOME GOME NO!!!" I fling both hands backwards, they stretch to unbelievable lengths. "BAZOOKA!" They fly forward at such speeds and hit Sam right in the cheekbone so hard, the force causes his head to spin in a 360, horizontal ring 5 times, completly shattering his neck.
I respawn in a D.I.Y. store and grab a cordless drill off a shelf. I run out, scurry over to the fountain and grab Bryghtside in a headlock.
"ROW ROW, FIGHT THE POWAH!" I yell, and drill a hole into his skull. With that done, I fish the supply of caesium he always keeps with him out of his pockets and drop it into the fountain, waiting eagerly for the next person to attempt to drink any water.
"ROW ROW, FIGHT THE POWAH!" I yell, and drill a hole into his skull. With that done, I fish the supply of caesium he always keeps with him out of his pockets and drop it into the fountain, waiting eagerly for the next person to attempt to drink any water.
Applies cardiopulmonary resuscitation to Broken Orange, then scurries away in a hurry worthy of something speedy, hiding amid the Klondike Bars in the nearest Candy Store.
"COCO FOR COCOA PUFFS!"
I rip Abort-retry-fail's head off and scream down his neck.
"YEAH!"
Then I do a little dance.
I rip Abort-retry-fail's head off and scream down his neck.
"YEAH!"
Then I do a little dance.
While Kitsune is dancing, I come up behind him, with my hand trapped in a golden ball, and throw back my hand and twist it like a rope. "GUM GUM..." My hand stops stretching. "GOLDEN RIFLE!!!" Kitsune turns around just in time to see a spinning golden ball attatched to my rubber fist slam into his face and ram him into the large, stone, support pillar in the Macy's, splattering his brains all over the store, and shattering the golden ball and the pillar, sending the Macy's crumbling on top of his carcass.
Heey, my head... I was using that! On occasion...
Respawning in the mall fountain, I immediately grab a nearby bucket, fill it with water and proceed to drown Fury in it. I then run straight back to my comfy lair of Klondike Bars.
Respawning in the mall fountain, I immediately grab a nearby bucket, fill it with water and proceed to drown Fury in it. I then run straight back to my comfy lair of Klondike Bars.
I decloak the predator suit I looted from ODST's corpse and silently land behind Abort-retry-fail. I tap him on the sholder and as he turns around I impail him through the eyes. Flicking my wrist up I pul his head from his neck and clip if from my belt. As I walk out of the candy store and press the detonator in my hand, as I walk away I recloak and jump onto the rafters.
I hop in an elevator and press the button marked "Security". I reach the top floor, kick open the door to the security office, shoot the startled Malevolent Stranger sitting in a swivelly chair through the eyes, shrug my jacket off before it catches fire, take the armed grenades out of my pockets and drop them in a bucket of water, and step back just before the trapdoor opens. I kick the dead Stranger out of his chair and turn on the intercom. "ATTENTION MALL FIGHTERS. THE GAME. THAT IS ALL." Then I play Hannah Montana music set on a loop through the speakers.
I wake up from the last mall fight thread and jump out of my dumpster (which happens to be on the top floor) i then proceed to open up an almighty chuck norris style can o' whoopass on Sam G that invovles decapitation, i then shove a grenade into Sam G's severed head, run to the stairwell and kick it down...i then take Hannah Montana off the intercom...and there was mach rejoicing...after that i run to the arcade and play classic space invaders
I respawn within my final reference: The God-Mode store. I walk up to the counter, ask the guy behind the desk (I think it might be Odin) for everything he's got, but before I can pay for the merchandise, I explode into a thousand tiny pieces.
"To go, please," says the Manager, putting away his twin rocket launchers and paying for the god-powers.
"To go, please," says the Manager, putting away his twin rocket launchers and paying for the god-powers.
I respawn In Abort's Klondike Castle and rip a bar out of the wall and eat it. The I walk out and spot therealawesomeguy playin a terrible game in the arcade and shoot him through the head with my 10-gauge.
I walk into the God-mode store and ask "What is going on here?"
wasn't around for the first Mall Fight