Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Paddy the Second]

"I'm only joking man, stay safe." I hang up and twirl my cane a little.

 

[Saltarius]

"Christ, everyone always brings that shit up."

I pace around the outside, trying to conjure up a plan.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Put it this way, Paddy. Either you don't try to prevent me from questioning the auctioneer, which is a perfectly reasonable and valid plan... or I will blow up the entire ground floor of the building the auction is in. Outer walls included."

 

[Saltarius]

I whap Trilby with the golf club.

"Dude, from now on, I am the one who decides what we do. No questions."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I phone Salt back up. "Actually we're probably gonna be here a while so I might as well talk to someone. Sup?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Trying to assert the fact that I, will in fact, be the one who leads this search operation to Trilby. Scratch my comment about lacking in the optical department, we've reached the point where that is preferable to Trilby being in charge."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I'd prefer a moist sponge to Trilby in any leadership type capacity."

 

[Saltarius]

"Or, you know. Me."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Because that's gone so well in the past. First, you massacre half of Gashog. That caused you to be blinded. Then, we nearly killed a bunch of undercover cops. That's not counting all the shit with Sister, the fight with Davesprite... for fuck's sake, you're the worst possible person to be a leader. And, if you decide what we do, why aren't you dragging Paddy and Sister back here?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Salt, please punch Trilby in the face and remind that all he has never had a plan."

 

[Saltarius]

"Because Trilby, at the current fucking moment, we have all had enough of your utter bullshit. Now shut your fucking mouth, get in line, and listen or so fucking help me I'm going to flay you and hang your rotting corpse from the rooftops."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Thank you Salt." I scratch my face. "Do you think I should grow a beard?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I guess it would look good. I'unno, not really an expert on it."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Salt, I don't respect you enough to do that. I would respect Paddy if the bastard would actually share his fucking plan with us instead of acting like it's the best thing in the world so we should all shut up and sit quietly while he does his thing. Now, I am going to FUCKING POLITELY ASK ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY MIGHT KNOW WHERE THIS FUCKING THING IS, SO WE DON'T WASTE A LOAD OF TIME AGAIN!"
I walk off towards the auction.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I've always considered one, but there's the question of what kind of beard, and I've always had my face covered until now. Hmm, I may as well give it a shot."

I send Trilby a text.
MY PLAN IS TO WIN THE AUCTION! HOW THE FUCK IS THAT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND? I'VE ALREADY EXPLAINED IT TO YOU BUT APPARENTLY WITHOUT EIGHT LEVELS OF MACHIAVELLIAN SUBTERFUGE IT'S JUST NOT A PLAN TO YOU!

 

[Saltarius]

"Trilby, I don't believe any of us ever held a shred of respect for you."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I never thought you did. I'm a psychopathic, megalomaniacal, sarcastic, sadistic, offensive, demeaning asshat who would like nothing more than to beat the shit out of this auctioneer until he tells me where this thing is. It's out of frustration and a tiny amount of respect that I'm going to be fucking diplomatic."

 

[Saltarius]

"You ju-Did you really...Trilby, how you fucking function?

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You realise we could probably get him sectioned?"

 

[Saltarius]

"That's like number two on my list of things I want most right now. Don't you dare guess number one."