Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

I turn the phone on speaker so those around me in the back can also hear.

 

[RaNDM G]

The crowd gives a collective "Argh!" Some of the big players in the back leave.

"Now now folks, settle down. I've got something that will lighten the mood."

You walk to the curtain behind you and tear it down.

"We have two hundred of these up for auction this evening. Winner takes all."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I sneak into the tank beforehand.
"It's really cozy in here for some reason."

 

[Saltarius]

I move up and say somewhat loudly into the phone "Dude, that thing shoots every kind of bullet there is? Why the fuck would you need any kind of other weapon?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yeah man, the gun is awesome! Stock is nice and comfy, the barrel is light too. Trigger isn't jerky either. This is pretty fucking sweet."

 

[Saltarius]

"And didn't you say it was the gun Lee Harvey Oswald used to kill JFK?"

 

[RaNDM G]

The audience grumbles.

[small]"Forty million!"[/small]

A man in the back has stepped into the auction hall, his fur coat draped over his arm. You recognize him as the detective.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I start pushing random buttons in the tank.
"Bleep bloop!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I pull my gaze away from the massive tank, and back to the security guard.
"Sir, I really do need to speak with you. Privately."
I look at the detective.
"Now."

 

[Saltarius]

"No way, even the auctioneer said absolutely nothing else was worth bidding on past the gun?"

 

[RaNDM G]

You should really get out of that tank before-

Targeting systems engaged. Hello. I am T-270 unit 44316. You may address me as Terra. How may I be of service?

"Oh shit."

Half the crowd runs out of the hall.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"So, how would one, say...fire the cannon?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

My tulpa appears inside the tank and eviscerates Tommy.

 

[Saltarius]

"If you do this they're going to end the auction and lock the door up in storage forever."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I watch as my dummy gets eviscerated.
"DUMMY! NOOOO!" I boot the Tulpa out.
"Salt, I won't do it."

 

[RaNDM G]

Unfortunately, this unit is only stocked with foodstuffs, fuel and surveillance equipment. All warheads have been removed, though the tertiary gun above the cockpit accepts a wide range of ammunition.

 

[Paddy the Second]

How the fuck would you fit a dummy in a tank? Have you ever been in one?

 

[Saltarius]

"TWO DOLLARS!"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Well?", the detective impatiently asks.

"Can anyone here top forty million?"

Whoever is left isn't in the mood to buy.

"Sold!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

It was a very small dummy. I turn on a joke cannon fire sound.
"Hahahaha! Hee hoo, hehe...GIVE IT UP FOR OUR PRESENTER, MISTER...Wait, dude. What's your name?"