Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Knife-28]

"And that is, Salt?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, this is boring."
I spray lighter fluid on RaN, then set him on fire.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"They're not literal babies. Unless we've all taken something and are group hallucinating. Again."

 

[Saltarius]

"You're a dick, Knife."

 

[Knife-28]

"Oh I agree, I am a colossal dick." Knife says, before grabbing Salt and giving him a light hearted noogiee. "And that's why you fucking love me."

 

[Saltarius]

"I hate you. Incredibly."

 

[Knife-28]

"No you don't." Knife replies, continuing to noogiee Salt.

 

[Saltarius]

"Yes. I do. You insult my lack of romantic skill, you proceed to tease me in the most grating ways, AND FUCK ALL IF YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MAKE THINGS DIFFICULT AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Oh? How do I make things difficult?"

Meanwhile I suppress a laugh as I watch Knife noogiieing Salt.

 

[Saltarius]

"REASONS! AUSTRALIAN REASONS WITH YOUR...HAIR AND SHIT!"

 

[Knife-28]

"..." Knife let goes of Salt, then picks him up and looks him in the eyes. "Don't dis the ponytail, mate."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Ponytails. Fucking. Suck.."

 

[Knife-28]

"..."
Knife headbutts Salt and knocks him out. Several minutes later Salt wakes up covered in crudely glues on pony tails, that is, actual tails of actual ponies.

 

[Saltarius]

I forcefully remove the glued on ponytails, then walk up to Knife, kicking him once in the crotch. While he's down, I bring my box cutter to his throat.

"Don't fucking dare try me again, Aussie."

 

[Knife-28]

Knife respawns and grabs Salt in a choke hold. "Then don't dis the hair, Septic Tank."

 

[Paddy the Second]

I flick matches at both Knifes and Salt. Their hair catches fire and burns off, leaving all three of them bald. "There! Now shut the fuck up!"

 

[Knife-28]

"Jesus fuck, what the hell did I do?!" I yell at Paddy, patting out my flaming head.

 

[Saltarius]

I turn the box cutter on myself, slitting my throat and respawning.

"Exist long enough to have that douchebag also exist."

 

[Knife-28]

"I...what? The fuck are you even talking about Salt." I say while Knife commits sepuku.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I throw a bunch of golf clubs at Salt.