Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

I tie Trilby's shoelaces together and start interrogating New Paddy.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I make a campfire, and start cooking some British bacon.

 

[RaNDM G]

You roll down the side of the cliff, falling thousands of feet before hitting the ground.

[sub][sub](noirlac)[/sub][/sub]

You respawn on the cliff.

Now what?

 

[Paddy the Second]

I respawn. "Shit." I walk sensibly down the cliff until I reach the ground.

 

[RaNDM G]

You dredge on, passing the door on the way down. The day passes before you reach the sea.

[sub][sub](noirlac)[/sub][/sub]

That's not a good sign.

 

[Paddy the Second]

I clap my hands together. "Ohohoho. Adventure beckons." I say, to no one in particular.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I slap New Paddy, my hand leaving a red mark on his grinning cardboard face.
"You think this is fucking funny? You think this is a game, you smug piece of cardboard?"
I tilt a lamp towards his face.
"Now I'm going to ask one more time. What have you done with the bodies?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sigma, you want boiled egg?"

 

[RaNDM G]

The star sets on the horizon.

[sub][sub](noirlac)[/sub][/sub]

That's the edge of the forest. Maybe it would be wise to set camp for the night, unless you want to travel into the woods.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"What would I camp with?" I walk into the forest.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I glance over my shoulder.
"Yeah, thanks. You have any toast over there?"
I turn back to New Paddy.
"Alright, Wise Guy, we'll play it your way. You tell us where you hid the Falcon Malteaser, and we won't hand you over to Gary and his Lads. Sound like a deal?"
New Paddy says nothing, just stares at me with two-dimensional cardboard eyes.
My eye twitches.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yeah I got toast-Wait, did you say the Falcon Malteaser?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I walk over to Sigma, then trip and fall head-first into him.
"Who tied my fucking laces together?"
I untie the laces, then retie them on their own shoes, and look up at Sigma.
"Why are you interrogating New-Paddy?"

 

[Sigma Castell]

My eye continues to twitch. I take a deep breath. Then exhale. Then fall over as Trilby collides with me.
I scrabble to my feet, but New-Paddy has already made a break for it, cleverly disguising his escape attempt as falling over in a breeze.
"Shit."
I pick up a twig and lob it at the cardboard cut out. It bounces off, leaving a mark.
Freeze, scumbag! One more step and I shoot!"
New-Paddy rolls over in the breeze, and I tackle him, scraping the side of my arms on his cardboard edge.
I throw a punch, and he somehow bends around it, his body crumpling around my fist.
"TELL US WHERE YOU HID THAT GOD-DAMN MALTEASER!"

 

[Saltarius]

I join the group in staring at Sigma's further descent into non-comprehension.

I silently pull out my revolver and shoot Trilby in the spine.

"Didn't say we were done."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn next to Sigma.
"Don't care. Spar with New-Paddy."
I give New-Paddy a knife and throw him at Salt.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I bet the rest of the guys are doing something worthwhile."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I lapse into a coughing fit, and it doesn't subside for another minute.
I look up at New-Paddy. He's grinning at me. I stare at him, my eyes watering
Suddenly i begin to choke on something in my throat. Coughing and caking, i force it into my mouth and out onto my palm.
Its a Malteaser. I look up at Paddy.
"You bastard...I was...You hid the Falcon Malteaser in me all along...Yo-"
Streams of Malteasers burst from my every orifice, and I drown in a writhing sea of delicious brown chocolate balls.
"Arglarghlblurghlarglhublarghlurglhlahhghlublublublbubllllllblulbululub"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I start scrambling away from the chocolate-coated-malt-y swarm.
"Wh- what the hell is going on?"
I throw a Molotov at the Malteasers, trying to melt through them.
"NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!" I open my mouth,and begin eating the malteasers.