Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[RaNDM G]

"Send the warlocks. I'll stand up when they get here."

You hear chatter from outside.

[sub]"I always wanted a spot by the river."[/sub]

[sub]"Really? Are we really having this conversation now?"[/sub]

[sub]"Why not? It's quaint. Has a nice, rustic charm to it."[/sub]

[sub]"Because we're warlocks you bleating idiot! We live humbly among the forest, not in houses! We signed a pact!"[/sub]

[small]"... What the pact doesn't know won't hurt it."[/small]

"Shut up. We're here."

 

[Paddy the Second]

The church door opens and a tulpa, visually identical to me, steps out, closing it behind him. "Gentlemen" he says, "may I ask why you're here?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Oh. Hello there. We are representatives of the local warlock community."

"Come to rape your churches and burn your women, kind Sir."

"..."

"I mixed it up again, didn't I?"

 

[Saltarius]

"...My 'Paddy is utterly fucked' senses are tingling."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Right... so, you bringing it up was pointless."
I facepalm.

 

[Saltarius]

"Eh, I'm not all that threatening, sane or mad."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"But why?"

 

[Saltarius]

"But...that's...how would I even...what?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I open up a lemonade stand.
"Come one, come all! Taste the excellent, extravagant, excruciating lemonade!"

 

[Saltarius]

"Fakey bullshit...fake...stuff?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I drop a cyanide pill into the pitcher.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I crash a lemonade into the plane.

 

[Saltarius]

"I mean, how will I become insane? And not the realistic pants-shitting, wall-licking, completely nonfunctioning sort of insane. The idealized sort."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Sorry, just refilling it."
I hand it back to Tox.

 

[Saltarius]

"That thinking out loud was meant to inspire one of you to offer a suggestion."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Just drink some of my lemonade."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"It's simple, Salt. Just ignore all emotions other than rage."

 

[Saltarius]

"...What's that supposed to mean?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Just drink my lemonade Salt. Tell me what you think."

 

[Saltarius]

"How should I know it isn't piss?"