Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

"After they're finished in the oven, say ten or fifteen minutes, It's vital that you remove the skin from your tomatoes as quickly as possible, so none of the flavor is lost." I start removing the bits of skin that arnt burnt to a crisp with a small plastic spoon.
"If you want to make this yourself, you'll need some freshly picked tomatoes," I gesture to the orphans who didn't die horribly in the fire, who are currently tied up and gagged in the corner of the kitchen, crying.
"A large cooker, preferably with a grill attachment," I point at the smouldering ruin of the orphanage,
"and a 12-litre bottle of hydrochloric acid :3" I pour the acid all over the corpses, disfiguring them even more and dissolving some parts down to the bone.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I stab Woon in the throat, then toss his corpse to Sigma.

 

[Captain Anon]

I respawn and I cut Trilby's head off then appear on Sigma's cooking show and fry Trilby's head

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respawn next to Sigma, and begin drizzling lemon juice on Woon's corpse.

 

[Captain Anon]

"then add some spices and pop it in the oven" i said putting Trilby's corpse in the oven and then turning it up to gas mark 4

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Now, what you want to do is add some homemade sausages." I say as I hack off Sigma's fingers, then toss them all around Woon's body.
"And you really don't want the meat to dry out, so just moisten it up...." I pull Sigma's hand around the corpse, spraying blood all over it.
"And finally, add some potato wedges, some carrot and, if you're feeling adventurous, maybe a few dashes of cobalt-60." I continue, tossing the aforementioned ingredients onto the dead body.
"Then, just cook it for about an hour or so at 902°C, or 1655.6°F, or two days using a large number of Easy-Bake Ovens." I slide the corpse into the latter.
"Sociopathic Cooking with Sigma Castell will be back after a word from our sponsors."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I have a feeling I'd be better off tripping out back at my quest. Oh wait, I still am!"

 

[Captain Anon]

"while your Trilby corpse is the grill and cooking nicely, add a special ingredient I call "buckshot powder" I said pulling some buckshots and takes off the top "then lightly spread the powder over the corpse and and flip the corpse over, be careful though the buckshot will go off and a lightning bolt of heat will shoot out" he said doing just that then standing back when i flip it over

 

[MinimanZombie]

I dive into the kitchen and grab Sigma.
"DUDE! The ratings are through the roof! We're gonna be rich!"

 

[Sigma Castell]

"And there you have it folks! The perfect Pietsta-Cusquena: Sausages, Tomatoes and some lovely lemon juice as garnish. See you next week!"
I turn to Zombie and Trilby.
"I can finally achieve my dream of owning a five-star restaurant in downtown detroit!" Tears fill my eyes.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yep. That is to say, if we weren't being cancelled because of violations of human rights, murder, cannibalism, arson, and the many other crimes."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I gasp through a mouthful of deliciously seasoned orphan.
"I knew it! The government is trying to shut us down! Just because they dont want to common people to know that you can create nutritious affordable dishes simply by using the resources all around you!"

 

[Captain Anon]

"yes it's disusting what the govement will do to try the people under control,fried Trilby anyone?" i say handing out plates of fried Trilby

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, there's only one thing to do!" I say dramatically. "Start our own website and distribute the show via the internet! It'll be like piracy, only not illegal!"
I think for a few moments.
"Well, it won't break piracy laws. Unless we become space pirates in order to get fresh vict- ingredients."

 

[Saltarius]

"Seriously though, fu-I mean forget people who say vanilla tastes boring."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"This shall not stand!" I say, striking a heroic pose.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I take the cooked Woon out of the Easy Bake ovens and serve it up.
"A toast; to fighting injustice!" I say as I pour everyone a glass of vodka and blood.

 

[Knife-28]

"..."

I grab RaN's LMG and unload into Sigma, Woon, Trilby and Miniman, and when I run out of ammo I grab Tox's gun and repeat until that's out of ammo. After I cover the bodies and the set in petrol and light the entire thing on fire, I walk out to a nearby pot plant and vomit.

 

[Knife-28]

"Remind me...why we hang around with these...psycho's." I ask grimly, nodding towards the burning pile of corspes.

 

[RaNDM G]

"Uh, Knife... That gun was empty."