Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[ShindoL Shill]

"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, WOON!" I yell, in my own voice. "Sorry about that, Mister Space Pirate. Woon is next on the list of people we're going to murder the absolute fuck out of, right after the two space cops. Unless you want to kill Woon. Consider him a gift. And, in exchange, you don't plunder us."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"He ended up driving most of our crew insane, and then they stole our treasure."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Tell you what you can keep Woon."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"HAHAHAHA-Fuck no! If we let him on he'll try to blow up our ship with a mechanical giant dog or something. Unless you know how to silence and trap him."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Yeah, the only reason he hasn't driven US insane is because, well, we're already completely fucking crazy... so, please take him, kill him and dump his body in a star far away from here."
I think for a few seconds.
"If we work together, then we can probably get him to stay quiet and tied up long enough for you guys to do whatever you want to him. In fact, get me a dress, some hair extensions and a taser, I'll try it myself."

 

[MinimanZombie]

Some muttering occurs, however it's inaudible on the broadcast.
"You have 1 hour. If you succeed, we can let you go. But to make sure...We've just planted a bomb in a very important part of your ship. If this ship is destroyed, the bomb will go off. If we lose contact, or you get too far away, it'll go off. And if you try to fuck us over, then it goes off. Good luck"

The conversation ends.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"How did they put a bomb on board?" My tulpa opens some beartraps and lugs them into the mall.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Paddy, we are not very competent. They probably teleported in, walked right past us and set it up while I was deciding what colour of dress would distract Woon long enough for us to knock him out." I point out. "Incidentally, I'm thinking black."
I walk into the Mall and start creating my brilliant disguise.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"True. And black is very flattering on you Tril, you should wear it more often." My tulpa sets out some bear traps.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I continue walking through the field of dicks, before spotting something over the horizon. My frown turns upside down as I gasp in delight.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Thanks." I say while sellotaping the Staff of Genderswapping back together. I give myself a quick blast, then start changing my outfit.

 

[Paddy the Second]

While laying some more traps my tulpa asks "What would be effective bait for Woon?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I start thinking.
"I... I really don't know. I'm not even sure if he's straight or not... meh. This is only meant to distract him long enough for me to taser him, so you guys can tie him up and gag him."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I'll set up posters or something."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Posters for what?" I ask.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I appear on the bridge of the Pirates ship, exploding out of a console in a spray of sparks and super-heated metal.
"Evening gents."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"SHIT! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
A bunch of sheep shuffle up to Sigma.
[small]"I swear to God Bradley, can you do anything right?"[/small]

I phone Sigma.
"Dude, what am I looking for?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"To lure Woon I guess."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Bollocks"
I fumble for my sword, accidently zapping the sheep with my Infinite Extrapolation Gun. Sheep start to fill up the bridge.
"Double bollocks."
I swan dive out of the airlock and respawn by Zombie.
"Try tracking him through his respawn matrix. Or just #Yoloswaggie it"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I glance out of a conveniently placed porthole at the other ship, and see sheep getting sucked out of the airlock.
"I think we might be safe. Or in even more danger."