Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Knife-28]

Knife walks onto the bridge, sees the pirate ship leaking sheep and keys the intercom to The Mall. "Alright, how long have we been under attack by New Zealand pirates?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I respond to Knife, my voice not immediately recognisable due to the genderswapping. "I don't think they're New Zealanders. The sheep are probably Sigma's fault. And it's been a few minutes now. They put a bomb on our ship, and they'll blow us up in about an hour if we don't give them Woon. And he has to be gagged and bound because he's really annoying. So... we're going to give them Woon. Okay? Okay."

 

[Knife-28]

"Firstly, why do they want Woon? And secondly why the fuck are you a chick?"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"They want Woon because he drove some of their crew insane, then took all their cash or something. And I'm a girl because I'm probably more likely to be able to seduce Woon in order to knock him out and hand him over to the pirates before our ship blows up like this." I explain.

 

[Knife-28]

"You do realise that...you know what, nevermind, go for your life."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I do realise what, Knife?"

 

[Knife-28]

"I was going to try and convince you otherwise, but seeing as you're stubborn as a mule and twice as ugly, I really don't think I'll bother."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"No, I want to hear this."

 

[Knife-28]

"Fine, you do realise that the pirates, being pirates, might just set off the bomb they've planted anyway, even if they get Woon."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"I do. But I'd rather they 'might' blow us up than they 'will' blow us up."

 

[Knife-28]

"Fair enough, let's just hope they don't realise that we're carrying an infinatly expanding Mall carrying everything in existence because then we'd be in trouble."

 

[Saltarius]

"Y'know, if they have a bomb, won't it like...maybe not kill us unless its some sort of bullshit 'infinity' bomb?"

 

[Paddy the Second]

My tulpa stands completely still. A smile crosses his face.

"SOMEBODY SET US UP A BOMB!"

 

[Saltarius]

I push up my imaginary glasses with my middle finger.

"It's 'set up us the bomb', you uncultured swine."

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Well, Salt, if they put the bomb in the AI core, they wouldn't need it to be an 'infinity' bomb or some such bollocks. As Artie said, take out the AI core and you take out the the life support systems, which presumably includes the respawn matrix. So, it would probably still kill us."

 

[Saltarius]

"...Fair point."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"NEEEEEEEEEEEERD!!!!!!! Also OH FUCK!" My tulpa immediately splits apart and disperses throughout the ship to find the bomb.

 

[MinimanZombie]

The pirates set up communications again.
"By the way, we can see what you're doing due to our excellent sensors. Attempting to disarm the bomb will in fact, cause it to blow up. And if you attempt to get rid of it, then the same will happen. We're not asking for much here you know."

 

[Saltarius]

"Maybe we want to die! Maybe we're all suicidal! You'd just be playing right into our hands, then! You're the pawns here!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I just stare at Salt.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Come on, let's go get Woon."