Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Saltarius]

"And not half bad." I cough.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"Yes. It's a long story. But not really. I genderswapped, apparently, when we were tripping out about the pirate, who was a ghost, who was a demon or something. Anyway, apart from that, we're currently investigating a string of murders. Our primary suspect is Casey."
I stare at Salt.
"What was that?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Yep. The evil little brat murdered so many people, including all of the people in this very brothel!"
The brothel begins exploding spontaneously.
"...My god..."

 

[Knife-28]

I stumble in, just in time to hear Sigma. "I know, it's crayshee isn't it?" I say, slurring my words slightly. "Nexsht thing ya know, I'll be rockin' a pair of tits."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Hooray for ambiguos gender!"
Connfetti falls from the ceiling. I look around.
"No? Just me? ah well."
I slap Salt upside her head.
"No imaginary canoodling on the job."

 

[Saltarius]

I rub my chin.

"It was a compliment!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I turn to Knife.
"Not until I seduce you while cosplaying as Terezi. You shall be my Karkat, and you can't do that as a girl."

 

[Sigma Castell]

I turn to Zombie, stroking a fedora.
"Its strange, how she is never seen to commit the murders..." I absent-mindedly filet an orphan as I speak.
"Its almost as if..."I look down at the corpse in my hand, and throw it a few metres away from me.
"MY GOD SHES DONE IT AGAIN AND PLANTED THE BODY ON ME"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"THAT LITTLE WHORE!"
I grab Sigma and run towards Waffles apartment.

 

[Knife-28]

"I...wah?" I blink in confusion. "What'sh a Car-Cat? Ish it shome freaky Transhformers Anime thing?"

 

[Saltarius]

"Y'know, I could point out the fact that you've killed more people, and in more brutal ways, but whatever. Soooo...Knife. Trilby."

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Uh excuse me Trilby rule63 always applies. Besides, Knife would look great with some extravangent chest furniture."
I mutter something in unicode, and Knife sprouts hundreds of breasts all over his body. His eyes swell and burst, and two rapidly-growing tits expand out of the sockets.
"Another satisfied customer."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I kick down the door to Waffles apartment.
"There she is! Book her Sigma!"

 

[ShindoL Shill]

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT SALT HOLD ME!" I yell when Knife begins sprouting breasts.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I stride foward, taking her hands and deftly cuffing them.
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you. You're nicked sonny-jim."
I notice that the person ive arrested is not Casey, and that the cuffs were actually my blender, which has chewed up half of the venezualen mans body.
I stare down at the mutilated corpse.
"The only sensible thing to do now is to cook it."
I neatly quarter the body and start chopping some onions.

 

[Knife-28]

Fortulently, I stumble backwards into the exploding bothel and respawn, sans breasts. Unfortlently (Depending on your point of view) I'm still drunk. "Well THAT, wash an increadabbaldly horriblfying experiance."

 

[Saltarius]

I hold Trilby bridal-style.

"I. Ahem."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"She...She outsmarted us? This is Batman combined with the Joker! Jack the Ripper mixed with Sherlock Holmes. Some evil douche combined with some smart douche."
I radio Salt and Trilby.
"All units respond. We've got an evil little girl on the loose, threatening to destroy our very way of life!"

 

[Sigma Castell]

I appear in front of Salt and Trilby drssed as priest. Multiple copies of me sit in the pews, crying.
"Dearly beleoved, we are gathered here today..."

 

[Saltarius]

I drop Trilby and brush my hands on my pants.