Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Sigma Castell]

I accidently ceash the helicopter into a tree, and we all die.
I respawn next to Zombie.
"So. What do we do now?"

 

[RaNDM G]

... Yeah.

 

[MinimanZombie]

"You, fuck off. I'm dreaming and I'm happy. I'm sure important crap will happen soon. Be patient." I try to get back to sleep.

 

[Saltarius]

"Great. Just fucking great. Let's get this reset over with."

 

[RaNDM G]

A series of seemingly random events kills every player.

No, I will not elaborate. This is getting way too redundant.

[HEADING=1][color=crimson]ACT 4: Problem Salt[/color][/HEADING]

You sit in front of a wide desk. A stack of papers is in front of you. Several space cops stand by your side.

The lawyer clears his throat.

"We need your signature, Saltarius."

Your name is Saltarius. And we already know how this is going to go down, so let's just get this over with.

 

[Saltarius]

I sign the papers.

"Droog. Give me the lowdown on this universe."

 

[MinimanZombie]

I sit in a average house. I'm watching TV. Great, hopefully nothing to fancy this time. I relax and fall asleep, to resume my dream before the reset.

 

[RaNDM G]

He tells you to look out the window.

You look outside. The Mall is a decrepit wasteland, ready to fall apart at a moment's notice. Yet everyone seems... content.

He tells you he has already found Aradia. Meet him at your house. He'll fill you in on the details.

 

[Saltarius]

I grab my coat and make a jumbled excuse to take a personal day. I arrive at my front door and enter.

"Alright. What've we got?"

 

[Sigma Castell]

"OH JESUS FUCK I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS"
I shoot myself and my respawn malfunctions because fuck you guys.

 

[RaNDM G]

Aradia and Droog stand in the living room.

[color=crimson]this is him?[/color]

He tells her that's the guy.

[color=crimson]alright then. salt? are y0u ready?[/color]

 

[Saltarius]

"...Is this what I think it is?"

 

[RaNDM G]

She holds out her hand. You vanish in an instant.

New role: [color=darkgray]Knight of Doom[/color]

[HEADING=1]ACT 3[/HEADING]

You stand in front of a large portal. The rest of the party ventures forward.

If you want to keep this crazy shit from repeating itself, now's your chance.

 

[Saltarius]

"...Alright."

I draw The American Way. It feels warm in my hands despite the steel.

I take my sword to it, shattering it.

"Goodbye."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well. There go my fucking party ideas!" I throw the rave kit to the ground, and storm off.
"This is complete and utter bullshit." I go and lie down in a mattress shop. Am I forgetting something? No don't be ridiculous-DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I realize I'm arguing with myself, so I fall asleep.

 

[RaNDM G]

holy shit the fuck are you whining about

 

[Saltarius]

"Am I back? Xot? Sis?"

 

[RaNDM G]

"Yeah?"

"What?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Holy shit Davesprite! And what are you on about Salt?" I ask confused.

 

[Saltarius]

"I just...whatever. Guys listen. I think...I think I'm a Hero of Doom."