Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[Paddy the Second]

"I. Have. No. Fucking. Idea. What. The. Hell. Is. Happening." With each word I force Peake's blade into one of Fluthlu's wounds, eventually just furiously stabbing and stabbing.

 

[RaNDM G]

Meanwhile, future Knife starts using REX to blow the shit out of everything. Everything.

You proceed to fuck everything's shit up, firing several volleys of missiles that level the playing field. The amount of property damage you rack up would be quite impressive if everyone else wasn't busy trying to stop an eldritch star-spawn from consuming every living thing in existence. ALL SIDES DAMAGE: -4

I fire a shot into the creature to find this large monstrous tower's firepower.

Nevermind the miniature undead man standing next to you. There are more pressing matters at hand.

[color][HEADING=2]>CONNOR: Fire![/HEADING][/color]

[sub](Problem Sleuth - Andrew Hussie)[/sub]

The cannon volley deals significant damage, which FLUTHLU is naturally unable to regenerate! DAMAGE: -8

"I. Have. No. Fucking. Idea. What. The. Hell. Is. Happening." With each word I force Peake's blade into one of Fluthlu's wounds, eventually just furiously stabbing and stabbing.

Your furious attack weakens FLUTHLU to a critical state. DAMAGE: -2

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

FLUTHLU: IIIIIIIIIIII

CULTURALLY DIVERSE MOB: IIIIIIIIII

 

[MinimanZombie]

I re-spawn for real this time. Guess I must have still been passed out. Or was I? Can't remember. I run and grab a Jerry can of gasoline, load it into a Super Soaker 3000(!) and attach a lighter in front, and hope to god it works. I mean my suit is technically flame proof, but still. I turn the lighter on, and pull the trigger. Luckily it works! My first flamethrower. I attach some cans of gas to my back, and hook them up to the gun. I then start spraying the fire all over Fluthlu.

 

[Saltarius]

I shake myself off from my rather embarassing weeping session and walk over to the unconscious Sam G.

"You awake? Yes? No?"

I pry Raven Razor from her grasp and begin to reconfigure the scraps of my abandoned suit into a small rocket, hoping the damaged boosters still work. I throw Raven Razor in the containment unit and hope for the best as I send it upwards.

"Godspeed, you crazy sword, you."

 

[Paddy the Second]

By this point i have carved a sizable hole into Fluthlu, and am now inside the wound, slashing away at the creature's innards.

 

[Saltarius]

"Wait...I've got it!"

I run up and grab onto the rocket as it flies up, barely hanging on as it narrowly misses the falling debris that's coming down as a result of the fight.

"Sam, I'll come back for y-Godammit, she's still K.O'd."

The rocket makes it's way to the surface as I see Zombie using a makeshift flamethrower against FLUTHLU. I crack open the rocket and toss him Raven Razor.

"Catch."

I then run like hell into a hardware store because I need to make a better suit man. That and I ain't interfering in this fight.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I catch the sword. I then realize I must have been daydreaming. Or was I? Seriously what's going on with me today? I continue to spray the fire all over Fluthlu.

 

[RaNDM G]

I run and grab a Jerry can of gasoline, load it into a Super Soaker 3000(!) and attach a lighter in front, and hope to god it works. I mean my suit is technically flame proof, but still. I turn the lighter on, and pull the trigger. Luckily it works! My first flamethrower. I attach some cans of gas to my back, and hook them up to the gun. I then start spraying the fire all over Fluthlu.

BURN: -2

By this point i have carved a sizable hole into Fluthlu, and am now inside the wound, slashing away at the creature's innards.

A tentacle grabs you by the wrist and pulls you deeper inside. You are consumed by FLUTHLU. HEALTH: +6, DAMAGE: -6

Did you seriously think that would work a second time? DUMBASS: +4

The rocket makes it's way to the surface as I see Zombie using a makeshift flamethrower against FLUTHLU. I crack open the rocket and toss him Raven Razor.

"Catch."

I then run like hell into a hardware store because I need to make a better suit man. That and I ain't interfering in this fight.

Salt continues daydreaming as he lies knocked out on the floor.

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

FLUTHLU: IIIIIIIIIIII

CULTURALLY DIVERSE MOB: IIIIIIIIII

OOC: Guys, this should be an easy fight. Quit fooling around.

 

[Paddy the Second]

Upon respawning on top of Fluthlu I begin to cry. Due to the altered nature of my body the tears have an adverse reaction to Fluthlu, eating through the cell structure like acid.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Tox somehow mistakes me for a mobster and shoots me. I respawn in the Knife store and throw move knives at the Fthulu. Out of irony, I throw the user Knife-28 at it too.

 

[MinimanZombie]

I soon realize that the flames are useless. I discard the weapon, reattach my blades to my wrists, and climb up FLU using them. This of course means I dig the blades into it, and when I reach the top, I start slashing the fuck out of it, cutting off any tentacles that come near.

 

[Connor Lonske]

I try to be more creative with my attacks, so I attempt to shoot the monster in it's tongue and teeth from it's larger mouth.

---

fluthlu tries to run over waffles, attempting to increase it's diversity power level.

oh and that culturally diverse mob tries to beat the shit of tox because he's annoying them with the small shards of glass he's throwing at them.

 

[RaNDM G]

Upon respawning on top of Fluthlu I begin to cry. Due to the altered nature of my body the tears have an adverse reaction to Fluthlu, eating through the cell structure like acid.

BURN: -1

FLUTHLU crushes Paddy's corpse for more health. HEALTH: +6

My "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" bar rises to a pitch high, and I start shooting glass all over the place, mostly at the culturally diverse mob.

CULTURALLY DIVERSE MOB is cut with glass. DAMAGE: -10

The mob is slain.

Tox somehow mistakes me for a mobster and shoots me. I respawn in the Knife store and throw move knives at the Fthulu. Out of irony, I throw the user Knife-28 at it too.

Waffles is slain. DAMAGE: -2

If you didn't have your

TRUSTY KNIVES

, you think you'd slit your wrists. DAMAGE: -7

You hurl Future Knife-28 at the monster, performing the final Coup de grace. DAMAGE: -10

[sub](Problem Sleuth - Andrew Hussie)[/sub]

MALL TEAM: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

FLUTHLU:

FLUTHLU

has been slain.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

For irony's sake, I jump into Fthulu mouth and mockingly shriek, "Oh save me from this hulking brute!"

 

[Connor Lonske]

fthulu proceeds to vomit a mix of blood and acid, pushing waffles out of his mouth. also he is suffering from acid burns.

 

[Saltarius]

I finally arise from my near coma.

"I missed out. Again. Fuck my life."

I walk over to Sam G and begin to poke her still form with a nearby stick. "You up, man?"

I then proceed to grab a nearby piece of debris and throw it as hard as I can to the top floor.

"HEY ASSHOLES. WE'RE STILL DOWN HERE."

 

[Paddy the Second]

The two time separated versions of me speak simultaneously: "So what happens with all the weird time shit now?"

 

[RaNDM G]

OOC: Skype's acting shitty, so I'll post here. There is still exposition I need to take care of. I will have the final post of Act 1 up later today. MALL TEAM can regroup and chatter in the meantime.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"MALL FIGHTERS HOOOOOOOOO!" We pose as a team, because shit just ceased to be real.

 

[Saltarius]

"YOU SHITS. ME AND SAM G ARE STILL DOWN HERE. TOSS ME A ROPE OR SOMETHING its lonely down here with Sam cuz she's unconscious and shit for conversation and..."

The voice fades out as the Mall Fighters seem to not give a shit. A bad idea considering who currently has Raven Razor within feet of him.