Mall Fight!

[Ren3004]

However, I am too small to hit. Instead, Sir hist his molten wind-up Chocobo and Bryghtside (only £99.99 at ASDA!). The thing is so realistic that it fools the fabric of space and time, creating a time paradox, which makes the mall back the way it was.

 

[Ren3004]

MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... AHAHAHA... *breathes in* HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA... *cough* AHAH AH AH *suffocates and dies*

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn, pissed about having no intestines, and find Sir. I slap him, reach into his abdomen and then beat him to death with his own spleen.


Finally, I take my intestines back and put them in their place.

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn behind sam and strangle him with his own hand.


Disturbingly, he seems to be enjoying it.

I also take this chance to squish Sir's eyes out of their sockets.

 

[Sam G]

Why am I disturbingly enjoying so many things lately?
Oh right, that.

I respawn, dig a knife into my brain (and disturbingly enjoy it) and pry out the Happy-Happy Chip that was stuck in there. Then I die. I don't enjoy that, though.

 

[therealsomeguy]

I awake from my slumber, i see sam diggin out the happy-happy chip, i stand by in shock and confusion...i then decide that it has been too long since i caused chaos and i barf out the powerful nuke i had in my stomach,which i then detonate...

 

[Ren3004]

I manage to grab and open an umbrella, protecting myself from the explosion. A lead-lined umbrella.

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn and see Sir and sam living happily ever after while surrounded by zombies. I manage to kill the zombies by stabbing them in the head with my umbrella, give sam and Sir my blessing, then run off into the sunset, slashing zombies to bits.

 

[Sam G]

A lightning bolt strikes reality (yep) and suddenly the rom-com turns into Titanic. Also, the zombies turn into exploding bats. Also, Ren has a jet-ski. Brightside is sitting on a big-ass door, and I'm air-juggling the bats, when all of a sudden an arrow flies out of no-where and pierces my chest. "Live on for the both of us..." I say to Bryghtside as I sink beneath the waves.

 

[Sam G]

I burst out of the water like a dolphin behind the manager, grab him and drag him beneath the water. "Bwaa glaaa gwaa gwaaa (I'll see you in hell)," I say, activating the Pikachu strapped to my chest.

 

[Ren3004]

The sudden surge of electricity takes us back to the mall. However the janitor seems to have come with us.

 

[Claymorez]

I step out from behind a corner brandishing my plunger "did someone call an electrician" before using it to sucker off Ren's face so there is no skin bubuhahahah

 

[therealsomeguy]

Due to the fact that i havn't died in a while i conclude that i am immortal and i test that by watching the Hannah Montana movie 4 times in a row, i manage to survive but everything within a 20 mile radius is utterly obliterated, i then watch zombieland to recover

 

[Sam G]

I respawn on the sofa next to TRSG with a bucket of unpopped popcorn. "Zombieland, eh? Great film." I force all the corn down his throat and set fire to him, causing him to burst into pieces.

 

[therealsomeguy]

The peices slowly reform because apparently i am made of liquid metal and i stab sam g in the back, unfortuantly Arnie bursts through a wall and throws me into a vat of molten steel

 

[Ren3004]

Feeling confused after ignoring this thread for 3 days, I decide to end my life. They I respawn and go around the mall, eventually realizing the the janitor is still around.


I pick up a bag of frozen peas from the supermarket and start hitting it with them.

 

[Ren3004]

The bag of frozen peas ruptures after 2 days of continued beating, pelting us all with frozen peas.

OUCH!

[sub]GET THE PADDLES! CHARGE TO 300! CLEAR! *BZZZT*


BREATHE, GODDAMMIT, BREATHE[/sub]

 

[Ren3004]

CRUMBLE!


Hear that, sam? That was the sound of the 4[sup]th[/sup] wall breaking and falling on your head.

I bet you guys wish you hadn't broken all those walls before, huh?

 

[Ren3004]

I walk out through the broken 4th wall and run into a guy dressed in red and blue, holding 2 swords and guns.

I ask him if I can borrow a sword from him.

 

[Ren3004]

After I borrow a sword from Deadpool, I decide to help Neonbob and kill Sir's jam sandwich whale. Then I kill Sir.

Repeatedly.