Mall Fight!

[Claymorez]

I can see ubbubuhahahahahahahahahha - I then go off to the martial arts store and enlist on every training course they have so that i am a specialist in every martial art.

 

[Sam G]

I blind-fire over the cover and - by some incredible coincidence - hit the overhanging sign above Ren, causing it to crash down and crush his spine.

 

[Sam G]

"This'll teach you to be in the same geographical location as us when Chell is bored!" I yell, pushing a bookshelf over with such force that the book store explodes. Then I run into a PC World and start smashing shit up like a rock star with a Guitar Hero peripheral I found lying on the ground.

 

[Claymorez]

I burst out of the nearby shelves (hidden among the pile of returned nintendo Wii) and slam into sam g, and then begin shooting round after around of stapples into his eyes saying, "How does it feel now" and then when his entire body is mostly metal I grab a copy of barby swan lake the pc game and glue it with prit-stick (strongest substance in the universe) to sam g's chest and force him to forver remember his failure. I then get destracted by a nearby pussycat and run after it skipping as I go

Spoiler

its because ppl are at school, so less ppl can do it - dont worry ill try and keep it up +it will go back to hos it was when holidays come again

 

[Sam G]

I kill myself and respawn, good as new. Well, almost.
"What the hell sort of glue was that!?" I demand, buttoning up my lab-coat in an attempt to hide my shame.

 

[Ren3004]

I respawn, only to hear a wall crumble.

"Damn!"

 

[Sam G]

"I have a plan!" I declare. I hop in a steamroller, set it to auto-pilot and lie in it's path.
After an immense amount of pain and unpleasant crushing noises, I discover I have become as flat as a pancake! "Behold my two-dimensionality!"

 

[Ren3004]

Trying to stop sam and Sir, I go up to the fourth wall and start mending it with bricks and bubblegum.

 

[Claymorez]

I decide i must stop the insanity and run towards the 4th wall and then throw a small device i picked up in the electronics store from the forbidden section - replicator bots (self replicating robots that replicate so long as material is available) - they reassemble the fourth and third wall and then turn on me, out to kill all organic life within the walls of the mall...(I am feeling a L4D moment )

 

[Sam G]

"A live-action Disney movie that doesn't suck." How's that for nonexistence?
The final wall comes crashing down, and we're left standing in a pile of rubble. "Oh. Well. This is interesting."

 

[Ren3004]

I look around. it appears the outside the mall is...

Spoiler

... a bigger mall.

 

[Ren3004]

Spoiler

Great minds think alike, Sir.

I hop on the back of one of the giant customers and stab him with a pen.

 

[Claymorez]

I run for the closest pet store (you know what they say about big feet......big pets! - "Me thinks it's time for 'Mongo' the bunny rabbit to kill sirbrightside" - I ride out atop my giant rabbit looking for sir bright side and brandishing my toblerone packet.

 

[Ren3004]

I hop on to Sir's neck and stick my pen up his nose. Breaking the fragile bone on the roof of the nasal cavity, I reach into his brain, and pull it out of the skull.

 

[Sam G]

I run out of the Lightning store with a few bolts of lightning in my hands. "Chuuuu!" I yell, charging at Claymorez and Aiming For The Horn of his giant rabbit. When it attempts to stomp on me, I defy the laws of nature and Use The Thunder As Armour. The rabbit is electrified, and falls over backwards. "Here, have a doughnut," I say, holding out a rice ball to Claymorez.

 

[Ren3004]

Sir's body falls down, squishing me under his weight.

I respawn in the supermarket and grab some chocobo food.

 

[Claymorez]

I eat the riceball and then explode when the grenade goes off from within. I respawn in the stables of ......- the basterd knew i loved donuts....

 

[Ren3004]

Sir's chocobo comes after the food and finally finds the bag... inside a washing machine. I close the door and turn it on.

 

[Ren3004]

I lead Sir's chocobo into an oven, turn it on, and watch them both roasting.

 

[Claymorez]

I take a wrong turn, and then another and by some messed up laws of physics two negatives make a positive so i appear on the scene and find a giant, an overpriced roast and sirbrightside and ren all clustered together. However all their presences are moot as i am secretly an animal rights activist of chocobo's anonymous and they have broken the law and so...."its time to dance"....I pull out a long black remote and put on some music......Then i get out the bioshock big daddy drill randomly lying on the floor....time to die!