March Mayhem Top 64 Announced

[Sn1P3r M98]

Damn, I'm tied up with Valve and Bioware, I dunno which one to go with. Neither is really a bad choice.

I have to be honest, this is my first March Mayhem, so I'm a bit confused as to how things work. Hopefully it'll all be straightened up soon though.

 

[Souplex]

I fixed it for you, nyek nyek nyek.

We've been over this:
Zynga is an ass pimple: Unpleasant, but harmless.
Valve is a cancer: A part of the body that has become corrupt and is killing it from within. You might not even realize what's happening until it's too late.

You know what? I'll be straight with you: I'm hopped up on caffine abd bubblgum and right now I'm PO'd over the Xbox version of HL2, so I'm more than willing to hear what you have to say on the matter. If you have a moment, would you like to spell out your feelings on Valve, and why exactly they suck so much? I'm serious--I'd really love to hear what you have to say.

It's pretty basic: They have bad ideas and are successful. The entertainment industry is an inherently uncreative place. Media is a giant game of follow the leader, and whatever ideas start selling make their way across pretty much everything, corrupting the medium from within. Like a cancer almost.

Huh. That is actually a pretty good comparison. But shouldn't you be disgusted by everyone who toes their line, rather than Valve themselves? After all, if their games are indeed bad, they'd have closed shop years ago--is there anything in particular that springs to mind when you say that?

In terms of guilt levels, Valve's fanbase is aboot the level of a junkie. Valve is morally comparable to a dealer.
Lots of bad games sell well: Pokeymanns, WoWcraft, Metal Cog, Quick Time Event the Movie (Heavy Rain, I like to think most of them don't require explanation though)

Okay, I'm on board with that--it's a perfectly accurate statement.

Valve is responsible for the surge of games aboot power-armored non-characters, fighting generically evil aliens, using generic guns and one shoehorned in gimmick weapon, assisted by a minority sidekick, and shoehorned in love interest (Valve gets bonus points for making them the same character, making her incredibly annoying, and making her the love interest of a character who we have no in game evidence against being a disembodied pair of hands) to take back the grey-brown wasteland for humanity.

But this is where things get a little bit tricky for me. Most of those things you described were the spawn of DOOM, WOLFENSTEIN, or if you're only referring to the last decade, HALO.[footnote]As an aside, isn't it interesting that those titles use all caps?[/footnote]

The thing that confounds me the most is the "minority sidekick" comment. Usually, when someone says that, they are referring to the character being a Peter Molyneux-esque ethnic stereotype given shape instead of their actual skin tone--can you clarify what you mean by that? Additionally (and slightly tangentially) I haven't noticed much of a romantic subtext between the player and Alyx. Did I miss something?

That's where you'd be wrong; despite Halo coming before Half Life 2, we didn't see the major surge of them until HL2 came out. Everyone was content to let Halo fill it's niche.
Besides,Halo has always been colorful except for the flood levels, there are no shoehorned in gimmick weapons, Master Chef has a personality; he just doesn't have a face, (Apparently in the books he has greasy curly brown hair, and freckles. Not your stereotypical action hero appearance.) and the aliens actually have reasonable motivation.
The romance thing isn't there so much in the first part of 2, but the episodes start to lay it on thick. Especially episode 2. I will always hate my friend for telling me I couldn't judge the game after quitting halfway through the first godawful vehicle section. (Quite possibly one of the worst vehicle sections in gaming history)
The

 

[oppp7]

Wait, did the Guild Wars people get kicked?

I'd get upset but they lost in the first round last year so...

 

[Armored Prayer]

A bit sad some of my personal favorites(Team Ninja, NIS) are not here this year. Then again they did lose horribly in their first rounds last year.

Oh well I'm going with Bioware this year. Mainly because I know all my other favorites won't make it to the final, and I do love some of Bioware's games.

 

[hazabaza1]

Oh, lordy, Zynga's there again.
I guess I'll have to avoid the site while it becomes a big fanboy troll rush bicker fest.

 

[HT_Black]

But this is where things get a little bit tricky for me. Most of those things you described were the spawn of DOOM, WOLFENSTEIN, or if you're only referring to the last decade, HALO.[footnote]As an aside, isn't it interesting that those titles use all caps?[/footnote]

The thing that confounds me the most is the "minority sidekick" comment. Usually, when someone says that, they are referring to the character being a Peter Molyneux-esque ethnic stereotype given shape instead of their actual skin tone--can you clarify what you mean by that? Additionally (and slightly tangentially) I haven't noticed much of a romantic subtext between the player and Alyx. Did I miss something?

That's where you'd be wrong; despite Halo coming before Half Life 2, we didn't see the major surge of them until HL2 came out. Everyone was content to let Halo fill it's niche.
Besides,Halo has always been colorful except for the flood levels, there are no shoehorned in gimmick weapons, Master Chef has a personality; he just doesn't have a face, (Apparently in the books he has greasy curly brown hair, and freckles. Not your stereotypical action hero appearance.) and the aliens actually have reasonable motivation.
The romance thing isn't there so much in the first part of 2, but the episodes start to lay it on thick. Especially episode 2. I will always hate my friend for telling me I couldn't judge the game after quitting halfway through the first godawful vehicle section. (Quite possibly one of the worst vehicle sections in gaming history)
The

Okay, I can dig it. My final question is this: Do you have any beef with Valve games besides Half-life? It's the only one you've mentioned by name, but you claim to loathe Valve as a whole--would you care to elaborate?

Also, The to you too.

 

[dmase]

I bet the odds this year will be a little more stacked towards the casuals (although I work at a bookies and I didn't catch the latest in-play betting on this event - bizarre).
Personally I can't stand Zynga and all that they stand for, but didn't they do surprisingly well last year?! Certainly took me by surprise.

They basically pointed their minions in the direction of the escapist. All it takes is one post on their facebook to get them to spend 5 minutes signing up using facebook and 1 minute to vote. The rest where 4 chan trolls i'm sure.

Edited, not sure what i meant by that second sentence.

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

It´s so on!

Lots of interesting names there again. I´ll probably be rooting for Squeenix this year as well, and maybe for Konami...and Nintendo, Team ICO, Valve, HAL, perhaps even Bioware and Capcom.

Oh, there will be blood.

 

[subject_87]

Mojang or Valve... so hard to decide... Damn you Escapist!

Oh, and if Zynga isn't eliminated in the first round, I will be very disappointed in all of you.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I look forward particularly to the incoming flood of trolls, newbs, asshats and fanboys that March Madness promises.

Hopefully our admins will be kept in work for many weeks over the period. Also, hopefully the system can take it. I remember the last one, the site went down a half dozen times due to traffic overload. And then cleaning up the detrius members took another month or two.

I'm beginning to see why the long term vets hate March Madness.

 

[[BDS]Omega]

Poor Square Enix is like Indiana University. Had an undefeated season a while back. Perennial contenders with their controversial leader. Then when he left amid animosity, the program has struggled. I don't see them making it out of the Round of 32 alive.

Game Freak is like Gonzaga. Rely too heavily on a one superstar to carry them.

Bungie is like Duke. Another hot recruiting class and the most loyal fanbase. But everyone else finds them insufferable, and the fans can be downright obnoxious at the best of times.

Mojang is St. Marys. Hot team coming out of nowhere with solid play in a weak conference. I don't think they have the big game experience to pull this off.

Bethesda is North Carolina. They have a good team this year, but not the overwhelming power of previous years, and their seniors are showing wear and tear.

Blizzard is like Kentucky. They trot out the same style, the same go to moves year after year. And why? Because nobody has figured out how to stop them yet. Add in the return of foreign player from injured reserve, they could be scary.

Valve is like Pitt. Tons of hot players that can get from every angle and get in your face. They're gonna have to fight hard, but they can do that.

Rockstar San Diego is Texas. Super player that won/is winning player of the year. Can the chemistry pull them through?

Finally, Nintendo is Kansas, a team with history, that brought and a new team this year and is making strides. Do they have what it takes to take on more talented crews?

Serious Props for the college basketball comparison, not sure if St. Marys would have the same magnitude of fans that Minecraft has but thumbs up for you anyway

 

[FlashHero]

Lawls MM hasn't even started and were having HL2 sucks no itz awesome you can't hate it discussions.

 

[ArchBlade]

Okai, so let's NOT replicate that god-awful Zynga crisis from last year, mmkay? As cool as it was, I'd rather not have to watch the entire internet rally around Valve again so that someone who deserved it could win. Once was enough.

Until then, GO BIOWARE, VALVE AND BLIZZARD AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER DEVELOPERS ON THERE THAT I LOVE.

 

[Luke5515]

Everyone is going to be upset about Zynga, but mostly for last year.
I don't think they should be on here because they haven't really done much this year.
They released one game that didn't go so well, and one that I haven't heard anything about recently. There must be a few more developers out there that have done more and better work this year. Oh well, what are you going to do.

 

[Danpascooch]

Zynga? Really?

No learning has occurred.

 

[Hellz_Barz]

CCP? the Chinese Communist Party makes games now? My god what if they spammed their supporters for votes? they'd be more powerful then Zynga!

 

[TerranReaper]

Zynga. Oh boy, this is going to be insane, again. On one hand, everyone rallied behind Valve just to knock them out considering almost no one (people that are usually on the Escapist) on this forum supports Zynga, on the other hand, crapload of spam and even calling for /b/ to help (You should've called for /v/). I know it means a lot of traffic for the site, but is it really worth another shitstorm happening?

Remember guys, to deal with Zynga, aim for the head, take their capture points, harass their workers, and kill it with fire.

I kid, I kid.

 

[Weaver]

I can't believe you guys put Zynga in here again. Remember what happened last year? You guys even said you were incredibly hesitant to put them in again after the shitstorm that happened.

Remember the 4chan invasion and the degradation of this site's community that followed? The Escapist used to be a bastion for intelligent gaming discussion... how far we've fallen.