Marriage is no longer sacred.

[Galletea]

I think the whole vow system is rather old fashioned and outdated, relating to a time where the bride had no say in the matter and would obey her husband, as he took over the role from her father. They have changed the obey part in a lot of cases but the till death thing? Would you really want people to be locked together because they said the words and signed the paper?
I'm fairly sure that the majority of people who get married intend to remain together for the rest of their lives, but people change, circumstances change and what was perfect once can become hellish, it happens.
The increased pressure on both parties to be working to sustain any kind of existence means that couples often move in completely different circles and simply drift apart and I think this might be more of a cause for divorce than a decline in our morals. The fact is that it requires more effort today to stay together, as people have little time for themselves, let alone anyone else.

 

[Rawne1980]

When you get married, you vow to each other to be with each other until death do you part.

Not necessarily. Our vows didn't include any such thing.

(Also, born in 1996? Jesus. I literally have shoes older than you.)

I thought that when I saw the year of birth.

I was in the army then.... christ some people here make me feel old.

On Topic.

I'm married and personally couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks.

I end that with a very mature "ner ner".

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Here's what I said in response to another intelligent post in another thread.

I've never understood that. Some government paper and a ceremony invented by men to celebrate their purchase of a woman and to show her off to family defines when you feel ready to express your love, trust and closeness to another? What f marriage had not been invented? What if it were outlawed? What if the cleric lost your papers and never filed them? You would have had sex without being married. Would that be bad? Why use someone else's measure of readiness to define your own? What if you were born in a country were marriage happened at 12 years of age?

It's all so irrelevant.

"Do I love my partner? Do I trust them? Do I wish to show them how much I love them in a way words cannot express? Then I will hold them and embrace them. Oh wait, we have yet to fulfill my society's version of marriage. Guess I shant."

Eh. Very queer.

Agreed. I personally have no intention of marriage or having children (for personal reasons I won't bother delving into here), because it just seems like an outdated and pointless tradition (originating from religion, and I'm an Atheist) passed off as some kind of "commitment". Isn't just expressing to your partner that you love them a commitment in itself, rather than some empty ceremony and legal document, effectively reducing your relationship to some kind of contract? And I know that many people may not really think about this (because of "tempting fate" or whatever), but if you get divorced, then it's even MORE hassle and you get into all the crap about money and who gets what, and it's especially harmful if there's children involved.

It just seems as if people only get married nowadays because of religion, tradition, societal pressures or feeling as if they need to make their relationship "official". None of which I care about. I'm an individual who lives my life, not anyone else's. If some conservative conformist douchebag wants to disapprove that I'm having sex with my girlfriend outside of marriage, they can go fuck themselves all the way back to the Dark Ages, because I don't want to hear it.

 

[Robert Ewing]

I see don't even see marriage as something that even needs to be sacred in this day and age. I mean, why is marriage even a thing? Religion and community 'rituals' I guess you could call them.

We are loosing religion, which I see as no bad thing, and a byproduct of this is that marriage becomes less widespread. But that's just not saying that marriage can never work, it's just that people are more aware that they can end one any time they feel like it.

And our community is less inclined to be a... Well... Community. People hate eachother! That's just a fact. Long gone are the days where you can leave your door unlocked, have street parties, you knew everyone in your area, and could trust them with your life. That doesn't happen any more, people are more independent, and want to go it alone. There is no reason to marry these days, which may be a shame to read on paper, but is it really that bad?

People still love each other, live with eachother, raise a family together, and die in each others arms together despite what a piece of paper says.

People fall out, situations arise, and thus a marriage may end. Just the way it is.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I like the idea behind marriage but at this point I agree with...whoever the hell comedian it was who suggested Marriage being a timed contract kind of thing. 'Till this date 2 years from now do we part pending the forthcoming negotiation sessions.'

 

[axlryder]

Eh, marriage can be a good thing, certainly. There's nothing wrong with wanting to firmly establish a long term/life long bond or wanting to publicly/legally affirm your commitment to a partner. Even if such a thing is inevitably impractical much of the time, it can put some weight behind your declaration of commitment, reinforcing it in the minds of both parties. There's also the important financial and legal ramifications of marriage. To the religious it also serves a religious purpose, and it's certainly their prerogative to feel however they choose about it. A lot of people are just too stupid to have a bit of foresight and patience or they get married for terrible reasons. Some people are even approaching marriage with the same flippancy that they are dating despite the fact that one of the biggest potential boons of marriage is helping to eliminate such flippancy.

That said, we won't see marriage die any time soon; it's too big of a business.

 

[Vegosiux]

I'm just saying marriage, at this point in society, is no longer needed. I'm going to stop here and keep explaining as the thread continues

Marriage really was never necessary.

It was, for politics sometimes... *chuckle*

 

[Zen Toombs]

Because we will all look like Sun-Dried Burlap sacks eventually. You cannot escape old age. It will come for you as surely as the tide moves in and out. Age is inevitable. Your looks WILL fade and there is NOTHING. YOU. CAN. DO. ABOUT. IT. Nothing. You cannot run from time or old age. It will come for thee.

You always have a choice.
There is always a way out.

Spoiler: Bullet to the brainpan.

squish

[HEADING=2]PROTIP: Suicide is bad, people love you, don't kill yourself.[/HEADING]
[small]wow, good job, that was super convincing.[/small]

 

[Azure-Supernova]

I'm in two minds about marriage. On the one hand I want to show my fiancée that I'm committed, outside of surgery to join us at the hip marriage seems to be the ultimate way to do that in an official manner. Also it's kind of necessary for out particular relationship though, we have to get married so she can live in this country.

On the other hand everyone gets married. Sure we can try to make our wedding unique and different, but it'll still be just a wedding like everyone else had. Forgive me for sounding like a sap, but I wanted our legal joining to be something special, something unique. As someone's already said, why do I need a document that confirms my commitment?

 

[Realitycrash]

What exactly do you define as "sacred", and why should it be?

 

[tacotrainwreck]

You read that right. Marriage is an outdated tradition in modern day society. Divorce is a somewhat common thing today, and that's a shame and all that jazz. Now, I'm just going to come out and say this: When you get married, you vow to each other to be with each other until death do you part. Not until somebody better comes along, not until you get bored of one another; until you die. I understand people change and personality's are like rolling stones, but it's a rolling stone you chained yourself to, forever. At this point you maybe calling me old school and I need to get with the times, but this is where the whole sanctity of marriage thing people keep yammering on about comes into play. Marriage is a tradition, a tradition some people don't seem to grasp the concept of. I'm not calling you a bad person if you're divorced or anything, I'm just saying marriage, at this point in society, is no longer needed. I'm going to stop here and keep explaining as the thread continues

It has a lot to do with Western society as well. In the rest of the world, it isn't nearly as common to marry just for love. Brides and grooms are often selected with the best interest of entire families at heart. Unfortunately, love isn't often a permanent emotion and is hard to separate from temporary infatuation. With no other reason for sticking together (Security and children be damned.), falling 'out of love' is often a paycheck for a divorce attorney.

 

[tacotrainwreck]

like marriage was ever sacred to begin with

In your eyes, probably not. But I try not to speak for 7 billion people all at once.

 

[Queen Michael]

That's why all marriage vows should be "Til hot blonde secretary with great tits do we part"

This gave me the biggest laugh of the day.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

My husband and I had a $350 dollar wedding and reception in our backyard, with thirteen people in casual-dress attendance. Before that, we had talked about marriage for three and a half years before deciding to go ahead with being legally bound. We talked logically and rationally about why we would go ahead with being legally bound, and why shouldn't we just live together without marriage. I had already expressed to him that it would be okay to not get married and that there was no pressure on him to go ahead with something he wasn't ready for or didn't believe in. After much discussion, mostly about finances, insurance, and personal beliefs; he proposed. I personally wanted the ceremony because I liked the idea of joining two families together and then having food, drink, and laughter to cement it. I was hardly thinking of any god, since I don't believe in deities. However, my husband does have a personal belief, so we had the non-denominational minister say a few things about his chosen faith and that was that.

Marriage can be whatever you want it to be. It can be steeped in your Faith, or it can be free of it. It can be ridiculously affordable, or it can be back-breakingly expensive. It can be something of misery that you feel forced into, or you can say 'No, I am not ready for this'. You don't have to be married to love each other and live together until old age, nor are the legal papers a symbol of that love. The legal papers are simply proof towards companies and the government that you are now eligible for the benefits they provide. However, if you do choose to be legally and religiously (if that's your belief) bound to one another, it is something that always requires real discussion and knowledge of your partner and shouldn't be entered into for any wrong or flippant reasons.

 

[ThePS1Fan]

I don't get people who say marriage should be a life time commitment. It should be the quality of a marriage, not the length. If you spend 5 incredibly happy years together and then go your separate ways for whatever reason that shouldn't change those 5 years you had together. I'd rather spend 1 day with someone I love than 50+ years with someone I don't.

 

[Griffolion]

-snip-

Hmm, let's not get in over our heads here. This is simply your opinion and by no means the opinion of everyone. If you don't like marriage/don't think it's needed/whatever, then that's great, you just don't undertake the ritual (in whatever form it nowadays comes in). But I know that a lot of people appreciate marriage for what it is. Just because divorce happens and is utterly sky high at the moment (in the UK it's just under 1 in 2 marriages fail), it is by no means a case against marriage, but more indicative of a lack of understanding of what marriage is at its core (commitment til death do us part, as you yourself said). And yes, before anyone pounces, there are genuine cases to get out of a marriage, domestic violence etc.

I'm not saying this in a nasty fashion btw, please don't read any nastiness in this post. It's often hard to tell tone over plain text. And, as always, just my opinion.

But like many other things in life, marriage is one of those things where it's there for you if you want it, and not there if you don't want it.