Marriage without sex?

[Oneirius]

Your lover is so wonderful!
Your lover is as a beautiful as an angel, amazingly talented, intelligent and kind, and truly loves you more than anything. Your lover would do anything for you.
Then comes the subject of marriage.
After years of a wonderful, fantastic relationship, your lover wants to marry you so that you can both live happily ever after.
There's just one tiny problem.
You and your lover can never have sex. Like, ever. No matter how much you both want it, no matter how much protection you use, no matter what position you choose, your lover is simply physically incapable of having sex in any way (well, except giving oral I guess, but seriously now). No amount of medicine or surgery will help.

You may kiss, you may cuddle, you may cover your lover with chocolate then lick it off- but no sex.

What are you going to do? Assume, for now, that this marriage is going to be forever and that you are not going to cheat on your lover (you horrible monster).

Will you refuse your lover's request, even risking breaking up with the one who is otherwise perfect for you, because being together means you will never get to have sex again?

I would like to hear your answers.

 

[Erana]

Well, I'm asexual, so it would be a match made in heaven.

 

[Ewyx]

... and the reason I wouldn't want to just stay a friend with this person is?

 

[emeraldrafael]

Wait. Isnt the entire point of marriage so you can have all the sex you want?

Also, no. I would deny. BUT, I would say we should live together mutually, and be like we're married, but its not "official" (though why I need some priest or judge to tell me that a slip of paper means I'm married I have no idea).

Loophole found.

 

[Hashime]

Technically speaking you must consummate the marriage before it is "official".

 

[Oneirius]

Technically speaking you must consummate the marriage before it is "official".

Ignore the word "marriage", than. What your lover wants is for you to live together for the rest of your life and for you to never sleep with anybody else.
Does that make it more clear?

 

[the muffin man]

Technically speaking you must consummate the marriage before it is "official".

religiously speaking of course, yet legal "domestic partnerships" all it takes is a signature in the dotted line and boom, done.

 

[Lilani]

If they are indeed my "soul mate," I say why not? There are other ways to receive sexual pleasure, and these days there has never been such a wide selection of such...equipment and it has never been so accessible.

If we do stay together for the rest of our lives, there will come a day long in the future when our sex drives wind down, and all we will really want is a companion to hold and cherish.

I'm just going to leave this little love story here. This couple proved a few things to me about love, and one of them is that real relationships run on more than just sex.

 

[Crusnik]

I would break up in a heartbeat. That's just how it goes.

Believe it or not, sex is considered to be an extremely important part of a healthy relationship.

Besides, as much as I hate my job as a summer camp counselor, I too hope to one day reproduce, and I'd rather do it the natural way.

 

[HardkorSB]

Is oral sex possible?
Besides, how is that person exactly my "lover" if physical love is out of the picture?
To love someone without the physical aspect of it, isn't that more like deep friendship?

 

[mikerdna]

Well if you are both 86, then it wouldn't be so long together, now would it? If you are 20, and don't die an unexpected death, it could be a long time. Most marriages average about 5 to 10 years, so I wouldn't worry too long term about that.

As you mentioned, even without penetration, there are numerous options (including yourself), but if it is a matter of ethics/preference/etc of your partner not to have sex, well there are numerous practical benefits to a legalized union of two people.

Celibacy within marriage happens quite a bit, although not necessarily by design/desire. You can't also get everything you want in a single partner, and you could probably work out an arrangement if sex is so important to you (something that decreases a bit with age and alternatives).

While definitely a highpoint of any day, I would hazard that about 95% or more of your day are on other activities. If I found such an ideal partner, I'd go for it, and find some other means to get the kick of pleasure chemicals in the brain.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

I think sex is important to the intimacy of a relationship. Also, no sex completely precludes the possibility of having a biological family, which is important to me. So, I'd sadly break up with them.

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

Interesting topic. I'm not certain, but quite possibly think I would stay with the person. I don't really have a high sex drive as is, so I've never been very interested in sex anyway.

 

[kasperbbs]

That does not make sense.

 

[blackprince19]

yes..... besides there a 4 letter word that sarts with A

 

[DkLnBr]

I dont really like kids and im asexual, so ya I would. I cant say I see a downside

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

After years of a wonderful, fantastic relationship, your lover wants to marry you so that you can both live happily ever after.
There's just one tiny problem.
You and your lover can never have sex.
Will you refuse your lover's request, even risking breaking up with the one who is otherwise perfect for you, because being together means you will never get to have sex again?
I would like to hear your answers.

This thread again?

No, I would never ever marry someone without the ability to have sex with them. I wouldn't date someone if I couldn't have some sort of sexual relations with them.

Also, for the record...

Been married 7 years - and my spouse rocked my world last night. ^^

So for me, marriage = multiple orgasms. If no orgasms are involved, then it's not a marriage I would ever want to be in.

 

[ThatDaveDude1]

After years of a wonderful, fantastic relationship, your lover wants to marry you so that you can both live happily ever after.

Because apparently it's impossible to be happy without marriage...

 

[Jatal Khyron]

...or you could be in a relationship for 6 years, and she treats it as if you are married and never get anymore anyway. I also agree with the above point that it would preclude any biological family.

I'm of the Ron White opinion on the subject. "A hound dog is loyal as hell, but if you don't pet him once in a while, it's awfully hard to keep him on the porch."

 

[JanatUrlich]

I could never ever have a marriage without sex. Sex is an extremely important part of a relationship for me. It's my favourite thing to do!