WALL OF TEXT INBOUND.
I don't know, mileage really varies from couple to couple. You hear stories of people getting married to their high school sweetheart at age 18 and are still happily married fifty years later. You also hear stories of people dating for 10 years, finally getting married once life is together, then shit hits the fan and the divorce six months later.
From my personal side of things, I got married when I was 23 years old and my wife was 22 years old. We had been dating 18 months when I popped the question and we finally got married at 26 months. Statistically speaking, we have three risk factors going against us: 1) both come from divorced families, 2) married before 25 years old, and 3) never lived together before marriage. I could go into the whole living arrangement discussion, but that is an entirely different topic.
Anyway, I acknowledge that I am still in the "early" stages of our marriage, but we have been going strong for five years and I have never been happier. One thing that probably helped that is somewhat rare at 23 years this day and age, I had a secure job, I had lived independently right after high school at 18, and was just wrapping up my Masters education. The way I see things, people feel like they need to have their life completely in order and have completely lived life fully before getting married. I don't see things in the same light. When I hear that viewpoint, it sounds to me like they view marriage as a prison. Going into marriage with this viewpoint seems doomed to fail. I don't fault people for feeling this way, just not how I see things.
We have both entered into the marriage with the view that we will grow together and we will hit highs and lows together. The most important thing of all is that we will be entering every event in life together. I know it sounds cliche, but marriage takes strong COMMITMENT. I know people argue that you can have the same level of commitment in a dating relationship, but it just isn't the same. I can't really vocalize how it's different, it is really something you have to experience yourself to realize.
One thing my wife and I vowed to do when we entered our marriage was that divorce would not be part of our vocabulary. No matter how bad things get or how angry we are with each other, the words divorce will never be mentioned or considered an option. We have hit some pretty bad points in our short five years of marriage, but those bad points are what made our relationship as strong as it is today. I just think too many people view divorce as an easy out from a bad situation. I understand really bad situation like abuse, but lots of situations can be handled with strong cooperation and teamwork and communication.
We also both have strong family values and we want to have kids while we are still young so that we can enjoy their childhood to the fullest. Also to have kids young enough so that when we eventually have grandchildren, we will still have enough youth left in us to enjoy the grandkids.
Anyway, I don't think any less of people that don't see the importance of marriage, but this is just how I see things.
I don't know, mileage really varies from couple to couple. You hear stories of people getting married to their high school sweetheart at age 18 and are still happily married fifty years later. You also hear stories of people dating for 10 years, finally getting married once life is together, then shit hits the fan and the divorce six months later.
From my personal side of things, I got married when I was 23 years old and my wife was 22 years old. We had been dating 18 months when I popped the question and we finally got married at 26 months. Statistically speaking, we have three risk factors going against us: 1) both come from divorced families, 2) married before 25 years old, and 3) never lived together before marriage. I could go into the whole living arrangement discussion, but that is an entirely different topic.
Anyway, I acknowledge that I am still in the "early" stages of our marriage, but we have been going strong for five years and I have never been happier. One thing that probably helped that is somewhat rare at 23 years this day and age, I had a secure job, I had lived independently right after high school at 18, and was just wrapping up my Masters education. The way I see things, people feel like they need to have their life completely in order and have completely lived life fully before getting married. I don't see things in the same light. When I hear that viewpoint, it sounds to me like they view marriage as a prison. Going into marriage with this viewpoint seems doomed to fail. I don't fault people for feeling this way, just not how I see things.
We have both entered into the marriage with the view that we will grow together and we will hit highs and lows together. The most important thing of all is that we will be entering every event in life together. I know it sounds cliche, but marriage takes strong COMMITMENT. I know people argue that you can have the same level of commitment in a dating relationship, but it just isn't the same. I can't really vocalize how it's different, it is really something you have to experience yourself to realize.
One thing my wife and I vowed to do when we entered our marriage was that divorce would not be part of our vocabulary. No matter how bad things get or how angry we are with each other, the words divorce will never be mentioned or considered an option. We have hit some pretty bad points in our short five years of marriage, but those bad points are what made our relationship as strong as it is today. I just think too many people view divorce as an easy out from a bad situation. I understand really bad situation like abuse, but lots of situations can be handled with strong cooperation and teamwork and communication.
We also both have strong family values and we want to have kids while we are still young so that we can enjoy their childhood to the fullest. Also to have kids young enough so that when we eventually have grandchildren, we will still have enough youth left in us to enjoy the grandkids.
Anyway, I don't think any less of people that don't see the importance of marriage, but this is just how I see things.
) and there's no way in hell I'm marrying before I'm well into my 30's. I've had a relationship for 3 years, another for 2 years and I'm counting 5 months now on my third big relationship. All gorgeous, lovely girls, love/d them all - but at no point I would've married any one of them. I wanna finish college, get a steady job, a place of my own (I live with my sis right now) and enjoy my big bed for myself now and then.
