Me vs. my Dad

[Bullfrog1983]

I would respond by quoting Christian religious texts against him:

"Do unto others" Matthew 7:12

or

"Whoever loves another as himself ought to love that in him which is his real self. Our real selves are not bodies... Human nature is to be loved" - St. Augustine's Confessions

But seriously, if he is your father and he loves you he should be able to understand. Try talking to him about it and if he keeps freaking out, try talking to someone you know about the problem. They will probably be able to help you better than we can, either with a sympathetic ear or a place for you to stay.

 

[Phantom_IEC]

If your Father is as Christian as you say then while he will be upset with your decision he will accept you for who you are. His own faith tells him to accept you as you are...

 

[manic_depressive13]

Why do you want to tell him? So he will stop pushing his beliefs on you? If he's that serious about christianity, I don't think he'll stop. He has to save your soul, doesn't he? Remember: not telling someone something isn't lying!

Then again, if your mum was always atheist, and he was accepting enough of it to marry her, there's no reason he shouldn't be able to accept it when it comes to you as well. Here's presuming they didn't divorce over these differences...

 

[NiceGurl_14]

.

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

Easy, just show him this:

Spoiler

Thanks for the poster.

OT: I recently told my parents that I'm agnostic and my dad had a fit over it. Unfortunately, he still doesn't really talk to me anymore but my mom definitely came around. Like some of the others have said, don't be a dick about it and probably expect some kind of backlash but you may just need to ride it out.

 

[Lexodus]

You people keep blathering on about how his father has to accept him and loves him and he should be thankful that he gets any day with him, when you don't know the facts. Just because he's your father doesn't mean you owe him anything, and if he's trying to dominate you and mould you into a good little Christian, tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't believe and you don't want to. If he doesn't get the picture, get your mum involved, particularly if he's as ridiculous as you make him sound, since he may do something stupid. Also, be careful. When you try to drop a load like this on a fundy, they rarely take it well.

On an unrelated note, anyone in the UK remember The Bridge Youth Project? A state sponsored bunch of annoying fundies who came around schools to yank you out of lessons (in my case, always RS lessons. I wonder why -.-) and 'teach' you that the only way in life was to follow Jesus and submit to the church? I managed to make one cry, and another shake her head and 'pray for my soul' when I refused to abandon logic, common sense and intelligence, and boldly declared upon being asked "You love Jesus, don't you?" that no, I didn't, because I was a 'Jewish-born Atheist with a passion for science.'

 

[TRR]

******************

a couple of you are asking why i must tell him

reason: if i didn't i would have to pretend i was christian. and that's something id rather not go through. because i would be dishonest, which against my values. also i would have to adhere to his christian based 'rules'(for lack of a better term); this is what lead to said shouting match.

 

[RatRace123]

Just tell him, appeal to the fact that he's your father and at the end of the day, parents are supposed to want their spawn to be happy.
Try to word it politely, though, don't belittle his beliefs while proclaiming yours.

 

[Mr Thin]

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

I need more information; specifically, what kind of atheist you are.

Do you simply abstain from the belief in a deity or deities? Or do you find the very notion utterly contemptible?

 

[FROGGEman2]

Don't do it right now. It would sound like you only did it because of your argument, and he'd dismiss it. If you want to do it now, just mention this fact.

 

[Rakkana]

I hate closed minded Christians, I hate close minded atheists.

Just try and stay in the right zone. It's likely nether of you will win the argument.

 

[Kurokami]

K straight to the point, my Dad is christian, very christian. Note my parents are divorced. over the last 8 years he has, i guess you could say, forced it upon me a bit. and for the last number of years i would say i was christian.
Well now im an athiest. He does not know this, and he probably would be quite disappointed. several months ago we had a clash over a difference in beliefs and it resulted in an half hour long shouting match, so i dont know how well he'll take this.

So I ask you, Escapist forum people: how should i proceed?

note if you need any more details just ask.

Be honest/sincere and approach it calmly. Go up to him and say "hey, lets agree to disagree, mmk?" And then go out and chuck a baseball around.

Okay, that was purposely corny, but honestly if you just approach this in a mature and composed manner you should be fine in my opinion.

 

[PureChaos]

I wish I had your problems.

Being able to argue with your father is a luxury that you shouldn't dismiss or wish for a way to work around.

He is your flesh and blood. This may sound lame, but remember that he loves you, and that you \are lucky to be able to argue/discuss/rant/bullshit/flaunt/yell/criticize/demean any day of the week with him.

Be strong in your beliefs, yet realize that he is strong in his, and try to coexist with him, and love him for all his faults.

Hopefully he will do the same.

unfortunately, some people will put their beliefs first. i hope what you say will be true but OP said his dad is very Christian so he could let his beliefs get in the way of his family.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

DEFINITELY tell him. As for the conversation afterwords....
I'm and Atheist I have a VERY christian grandma and the one that always works for me is:

Me: "God has a plan for everyone, correct?"
Her: "Yes, of course."
Me: "So it is his plan for ME to be an Atheist."
Her: "Oh. I guess that makes sense."

On the other hand, I have only used this against a 90 year old woman, so maybe a bad example.

 

[Kevonovitch]

you are who you are, and he is who he is, if he don't like it, too bad for him.

 

[Merkavar]

if you dad cant handle your beliefs then how can he even think you can handle his. beliefs/religion is a personal choice so you need to believe what you need to believe and live with the consequences.

 

[SpAc3man]

Its not really anything where you need to sit him down to tell him. Just carry on as usual and live your life as an atheist. If he asks, just say you don't believe in the same things as him and that your happy and comfortable with your choice. It hasn't changed the way you treat him so it shouldn't change the way he treats you. If he can't understand this reasoning then you will just have to ignore his comments on your so called eternal damnation and all that jazz until he accepts your choice. Agree to disagree.

 

[Angryman101]

Keep it to yourself at least until you move out. He's going to be constantly trying to convert you back and use it to pick fights if you don't, I can almost guarantee it.
Also, why does everyone have to wear their religious beliefs on their sleeves? Keep that shit to yourself, it doesn't matter if your atheist, christian, whatever. Shut the fuck up about it.

 

[TerribleAssassin]

There's no reason you can't be Atheist and not respect his religion. Show him some compassion and he'll do likewise, even if it isn't at first.

Well said, and your avatar is Jesus in a suit and a funky mau5 head.

OT: Just say, I'm an atheist and you can't force your believes on me. Then walk away.