Message to your younger self.
- Thread starter IndianaJonny
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Hmmm. It's been a bumpy ride the last best-part-of-18 years. I'm going to laserprint this on a few pages of acid-free, cotton rich A6 paper, laminate it, and insert them every few pages in the middle section of the impossibly relevant-to-this-tale Good Omens by Pratchett and Gaiman (a fresh copy, with a more up to date cover and a tell-tale "reprinted 2010" copyright text in the front and euro price on the back), then send it back through the time tunnel, receiving in exchange the original unsullied copy I was given as a youngster. May also put it on a floppy alongside some really up to date Atari ST demos to hide in the package (as we hadn't quite got a PC yet) to properly blow my juvenile mind.
Message reads:
"DUDE! We invented time travel! I know, right?! You won't believe some of the stuff we have. No flying cars or jetpacks yet, but everything else is awesome. You're going to love it.
But... so... yeah, life tips and that... I trust this has reached you tucked inside a 12th birthday book that I KNOW you're going to at least eventually read. If the timing's off, only some of this will be relevant... but, you'll know which.
Keep this note as safe as you can possibly make it. Get multiple photocopies. Type it up and save it to floppy, and keep said floppy in a magnetproof box, transferring it to other media through the years. Borrow a spectrum and put it on tape (a PC util to re-read it will come along). Audio record it. Spread the copies around various safe places, but ensure they cannot be accessed by anyone except yourself. It will make your fortune and save you from emotional ruin. If you doubt it, just sit tight and wait for stuff to start coming true. Here's a starter for 10: a company that currently makes awful non-PC computers sold in Argos will release a new one whose name starts with a lower case "i" in a white and blue case in the late 90s. It'll turn their fortunes around. Whereas your current favourite brand is going to sink without a trace in the next couple years. However depending how many of the things below you take heed of and change, many or even all of those following it may not occur. If my life improves enough to require an errata sheet, I'll let you know.
NB We still have the ability to play back audio and video tapes, but it won't last more than another few years I think.
Put your christmas and birthday money in Apple stocks just as they're tanking to a record low. That, plus Sony (ASAP - preferably just after they break off their Nintendo deal) and an outfit called Frauenhofer AG. Also look out for a couple others called Google and TomTom in the late 90s/early 2000s, and then Facebook and Twitter. Plus invest in gold at the same time Gordon Brown (you'll know who he is) starts selling off the government stocks in order to alleviate the national debt. Intel, Microsoft and the various oil producers are solid safety bets in case the butterfly effect kicks off or you get bored, but they won't see anything like the meteoric rise of the others. Ignore Friends Reunited, MySpace, Creative, Diamond, Sega, Atari, Commodore etc, and particularly OnDigital & the ITV service that replaces it.
Bet on the Olympics coming to London in 2012, but no other major events for the UK. Don't buy into any workplace lottery syndicate until at least April 2011, maybe even later. If needs be, I'll update you in a letter that, if I've engineered it right, should arrive with you in a birthday card just as you finish reading this set of notes.
Hang out with the geeky kids more, they turn out to be better friends, and don't sweat the bullies. They're just messed up at the moment, they snap out of it eventually. Try asking them what's irked them so much that they feel a need to act that way.
DEMAND to be transferred to the more interesting D&T classes. The ones you have with Kirwan, you may as well spend passed out drunk in a gutter for all the worth they have. And don't let them put your game box & manual on display, because you'll NEVER get it back. EVER. AT ALL. IT'S GONE. That and the Linewars II disk. In fact, just don't bring that into school, figure out how to program your own 3D engine in QBASIC instead.
Set up some kind of timer, or note on the calendar, to access your yahoo email accounts at least every 4 weeks. They go through a brief but deadly period of deleting them after 6 weeks of inactivity. It came as a shock to me. Be forewarned. Also, move your personal sites off of Geocities as early as possible and get a proper webhost to put everything on. Make it look professional so you can host your CV there.
Once you pass your driving test, get the cheapest, most rubbish car you can find, insure it third-party only, and park it under a tarp, off the road so there's no tax or further MOTs to pay. You'll thank me for all the NCB later when you actually have a proper reason to be driving and paying premiums. Incidentally, Kings' Road? 30mph.
Don't bother with buying all those commerical high street store CDs in their annual sales. Give it a few years and you'll just be able to get all your music at a similar cost out of something called "the internet", and it'll all live in a matchbox sized device. For now, just get the top few best ones, and borrow/tape the rest. Storing and ripping all those things will prove to be a massive pain, and something I still haven't quite finished dealing with 15 years later. However, do make an effort to keep up with the wierd bands and support them.
Cities of Gold? Remember that? Something else may bring it to mind in years to come. Don't bother getting mixed up with the rabid fansites and petitions to have it released (well, ok, sign your name... once). It'll eventually, quietly hit market in the mid noughties, and that'll be that. Instead, trawl the video rental shops for something called "Warriors of the Wind". Do it. Go now. It's like a Penny Black with Victoria's head on upside down, except nowhere near as valuable. See if you can get hold of the actual tape for that awesome cartoon music video on The Box. It's called "On Your Mark", may need to be imported, and it's related. You see exactly how and why a bit later. Don't worry if it only plays in black and white at first.
Fuck Biology. Choose Engineering. Or Computer Science. Or anything like that. Bubbles swell and burst, but on average that stuff only gets bigger from the millennium onwards.
Fuck Nokia, too (if the name's not familiar now, it will be). Nothing they make after the 3310 turns out good. If it's a choice between one of their devices and someone else's, go for the latter, regardless of what it is.
On the subject of fucking things, if someone you like comes onto you, roll with it, you great big fool. You're both up for it. If there's going to be consequences, well, there will be either way. Just deal with it later. Also, check what movies are on BEFORE heading out to the cinema, and never compare yourself to John Nash...
Should you find yourself in a university sports club that meets in a bar called the Skerries, work harder at being a part of it, otherwise it'll turn out to be THE most massive waste of time and money you'll ever experience.
Tell Alisdair to keep well out from the coast on his first solo voyage, also. Make him PROMISE IT.
Get yourself an educational psychologist / disability assessment before it's too late to have it all done for free. Before you get too far into your A-level course, if possible - and certainly before you reach the last year of uni. You'll REALLY thank me for this one.
Don't buy an MP3 player or bike bag from Lidl. Just sayin'.
Also, Minidisc? Dead end technology. Just buy a few more tapes - and (you'll recognise why I say this if/when the time comes) a really good microphone, tape recorder and a few high end mastering tapes.
In the case of having free time and money (say, having not bought a load of CDs), sink it into getting your bike license and a motorcycle. Petrol is going to get amazingly expensive, plus it's fun and avoids getting you stuck in traffic. Also switch to diesel once you can afford to swap out your first car.
Thinking of which... that first car? Put an 8P on it, soon as. You'll know what I mean not too long after buying it. And don't ever - EVER - park it in the lower car park at your overnight job. You can get away with putting it in the upper one. Just leave a minute earlier.
If you end up at the wheel of a Hijet, ALWAYS ALWAYS ensure that the way is clear behind it before starting to reverse. GET OUT AND CHECK if you haven't driven past the target zone immediately before backing up.
16th December 2008, take the motorway home. 20th April 2009, get on the motorway at junction 7 whilst heading for work. Note these dates. And don't ever - EVER - leave a bag in plain sight when parking the car. Ever. If there's bulky but less easily carried or immediately valuable stuff in the boot (wheels, for example), put THEM in the cabin and the bags in the boot instead.
Don't bother trying to repair the exhaust or brakes yourself, give it to the professionals who'll do it quicker and cheaper. Everything else can be done at home, but not that, not easily.
If you're going to store anything longterm in the loft, OR your bedroom cupboard, make sure it's double bagged and sealed. Trust me on this one. Mess occurs.
Don't trust the Ditto drive OR the Danmere Backer. Seriously. Make sure all your data is on a second hard disk instead - it costs about the same and is far more reliable. Or even get a CD writer. And back up ALL the ST floppies ASAP, at the expense of other activities even.
Don't bother with video capture cards either. They never work right and are an evolutionary dead end. Huge waste of money and moreover time and effort. Homebrew VCDs & DVDs are barely worth it either. The future is in digital files. Just get a GOOD TV-out card.
Sabotage mum's attempt to apply for the school at the bottom of the hill where Rachel goes. You'll know it when the time comes. Do not allow her to work there. But make sure the interference is invisible. Short her car's ECU, intercept the application form and burn it, plant false stories of all kinds of unsavoury goings-on there in the local paper, etc. It won't kill her, but it's still hellish with a capital HELL.
Steve is actually a bastard, despite first appearances. If he has you out on a jaunt whilst he's looking for a new Saab, this is your cue to (again, silently) slash his tyres and fill them with cement, as he's planning a major Dick Move for the week right after. Think of it as preemptive karma.
Icebound road? Two wheels? 20mph maximum. TWENTY. TWO ZERO. OK? Got it? Good? Twenty. There are dickholes out there. And your stopping distance really does increase tenfold. Even if it looks completely clear and empty, they will appear from nowhere.
Anything you want to keep but aren't using on a daily basis, hide it at Nan's. Or aunts', uncles', dad's, friends' places. Anywhere but in the house itself.
Want to see something at the Imax? Book early, excruciatingly early.
Leftover computer parts? Have them recycled. Ditto any lads' mag more than 6 months old. There'll always be more - always.
If you have a bike needing to be replaced on insurance, demand the money in order to choose your own, because those guys have NO idea.
Go easy on the coffee. Buy your own weed. Chill. And force yourself to hang out with people more often and do more public speaking stuff. Get over the quiet mouse self image. It helps nothing. Also the more times you do it, the easier it gets. I know it's terrifying and difficult. I was there, right? But better to get it over with in a few sharp shocks early on than dragging it out into your 20s where it can do real damage.
Don't bother seriously investigating the specs for the new build, either in the pensionable gamma camera sanctuary, or the home of he who will become canonised. The first you may not be involved with (oh, and note the overbridge is staff-only and straying onto it without a keycard may end up with your being locked in), the other... all you can do is steer them towards a more sensible kit list. Everything else is wasted.
Don't trust sharepoint.
Take Friday 25th March 2011 off. Go downtown on foot. Let down Tom's tyres and hang around outside the flat. Ask him just what in God's sweet name he thinks he's fucking playing at. Secretly go to the gym for a few months in advance and practice your right hook too. Maybe take a cricket bat. It may be needed. Who knows. This one I can't predict. But it's that, or being kept in the dark until he's gone for good 36 hours later.
Ignore Star Wars eps 1-3, they are amazingly disappointing to the extent of becoming a cultural touchstone. Similarly the Indiana Jones revival. Star Wars, Bond and Dr Who prove good, however.
Book summer holidays before the end of the financial year. Late availabilities actually suck unless you're a family.
Don't work at the big Spar. The local one's alright, and you get free lunch. The other is hell.
Don't sweat Dad walking out. He won't be back. But he will be around. It works out. Emphasise to him as often and as forcefully as you can that he needs to keep some savings, avoid stupid "investment" opportunities (spoiler: NONE of them EVER work out - as if they would?!) that I assume he just found tied to a lamp post, and to look after the safety net first, fancy posh car and lifestyle second. Also, to find a job away from OSL as soon as possible, as they're going to tank and he's not getting any younger.
Oh, and don't bother with GT3. It's crap. No.4 is much better.
Just like Agnes, or Nostrodamus, a lot of these won't make much sense right now. Bullet-point them and refer back every few months.
Good luck young Padawan. Don't screw it up. My, by which I mean YOUR, future fortune and happiness rides on this. Particularly the Apple stocks and choice of uni course.
Yo Egg... Safe, man.
From future you, pushing 30, going nowhere fast after a pile of setbacks."
Now I just need to sit back, Dave Lister (Arnold Rimmer?) style, and wait for all the good stuff of the world to suddenly surround me. And then re-learn who half my friends now are.
Message reads:
"DUDE! We invented time travel! I know, right?! You won't believe some of the stuff we have. No flying cars or jetpacks yet, but everything else is awesome. You're going to love it.
But... so... yeah, life tips and that... I trust this has reached you tucked inside a 12th birthday book that I KNOW you're going to at least eventually read. If the timing's off, only some of this will be relevant... but, you'll know which.
Keep this note as safe as you can possibly make it. Get multiple photocopies. Type it up and save it to floppy, and keep said floppy in a magnetproof box, transferring it to other media through the years. Borrow a spectrum and put it on tape (a PC util to re-read it will come along). Audio record it. Spread the copies around various safe places, but ensure they cannot be accessed by anyone except yourself. It will make your fortune and save you from emotional ruin. If you doubt it, just sit tight and wait for stuff to start coming true. Here's a starter for 10: a company that currently makes awful non-PC computers sold in Argos will release a new one whose name starts with a lower case "i" in a white and blue case in the late 90s. It'll turn their fortunes around. Whereas your current favourite brand is going to sink without a trace in the next couple years. However depending how many of the things below you take heed of and change, many or even all of those following it may not occur. If my life improves enough to require an errata sheet, I'll let you know.
NB We still have the ability to play back audio and video tapes, but it won't last more than another few years I think.
Put your christmas and birthday money in Apple stocks just as they're tanking to a record low. That, plus Sony (ASAP - preferably just after they break off their Nintendo deal) and an outfit called Frauenhofer AG. Also look out for a couple others called Google and TomTom in the late 90s/early 2000s, and then Facebook and Twitter. Plus invest in gold at the same time Gordon Brown (you'll know who he is) starts selling off the government stocks in order to alleviate the national debt. Intel, Microsoft and the various oil producers are solid safety bets in case the butterfly effect kicks off or you get bored, but they won't see anything like the meteoric rise of the others. Ignore Friends Reunited, MySpace, Creative, Diamond, Sega, Atari, Commodore etc, and particularly OnDigital & the ITV service that replaces it.
Bet on the Olympics coming to London in 2012, but no other major events for the UK. Don't buy into any workplace lottery syndicate until at least April 2011, maybe even later. If needs be, I'll update you in a letter that, if I've engineered it right, should arrive with you in a birthday card just as you finish reading this set of notes.
Hang out with the geeky kids more, they turn out to be better friends, and don't sweat the bullies. They're just messed up at the moment, they snap out of it eventually. Try asking them what's irked them so much that they feel a need to act that way.
DEMAND to be transferred to the more interesting D&T classes. The ones you have with Kirwan, you may as well spend passed out drunk in a gutter for all the worth they have. And don't let them put your game box & manual on display, because you'll NEVER get it back. EVER. AT ALL. IT'S GONE. That and the Linewars II disk. In fact, just don't bring that into school, figure out how to program your own 3D engine in QBASIC instead.
Set up some kind of timer, or note on the calendar, to access your yahoo email accounts at least every 4 weeks. They go through a brief but deadly period of deleting them after 6 weeks of inactivity. It came as a shock to me. Be forewarned. Also, move your personal sites off of Geocities as early as possible and get a proper webhost to put everything on. Make it look professional so you can host your CV there.
Once you pass your driving test, get the cheapest, most rubbish car you can find, insure it third-party only, and park it under a tarp, off the road so there's no tax or further MOTs to pay. You'll thank me for all the NCB later when you actually have a proper reason to be driving and paying premiums. Incidentally, Kings' Road? 30mph.
Don't bother with buying all those commerical high street store CDs in their annual sales. Give it a few years and you'll just be able to get all your music at a similar cost out of something called "the internet", and it'll all live in a matchbox sized device. For now, just get the top few best ones, and borrow/tape the rest. Storing and ripping all those things will prove to be a massive pain, and something I still haven't quite finished dealing with 15 years later. However, do make an effort to keep up with the wierd bands and support them.
Cities of Gold? Remember that? Something else may bring it to mind in years to come. Don't bother getting mixed up with the rabid fansites and petitions to have it released (well, ok, sign your name... once). It'll eventually, quietly hit market in the mid noughties, and that'll be that. Instead, trawl the video rental shops for something called "Warriors of the Wind". Do it. Go now. It's like a Penny Black with Victoria's head on upside down, except nowhere near as valuable. See if you can get hold of the actual tape for that awesome cartoon music video on The Box. It's called "On Your Mark", may need to be imported, and it's related. You see exactly how and why a bit later. Don't worry if it only plays in black and white at first.
Fuck Biology. Choose Engineering. Or Computer Science. Or anything like that. Bubbles swell and burst, but on average that stuff only gets bigger from the millennium onwards.
Fuck Nokia, too (if the name's not familiar now, it will be). Nothing they make after the 3310 turns out good. If it's a choice between one of their devices and someone else's, go for the latter, regardless of what it is.
On the subject of fucking things, if someone you like comes onto you, roll with it, you great big fool. You're both up for it. If there's going to be consequences, well, there will be either way. Just deal with it later. Also, check what movies are on BEFORE heading out to the cinema, and never compare yourself to John Nash...
Should you find yourself in a university sports club that meets in a bar called the Skerries, work harder at being a part of it, otherwise it'll turn out to be THE most massive waste of time and money you'll ever experience.
Tell Alisdair to keep well out from the coast on his first solo voyage, also. Make him PROMISE IT.
Get yourself an educational psychologist / disability assessment before it's too late to have it all done for free. Before you get too far into your A-level course, if possible - and certainly before you reach the last year of uni. You'll REALLY thank me for this one.
Don't buy an MP3 player or bike bag from Lidl. Just sayin'.
Also, Minidisc? Dead end technology. Just buy a few more tapes - and (you'll recognise why I say this if/when the time comes) a really good microphone, tape recorder and a few high end mastering tapes.
In the case of having free time and money (say, having not bought a load of CDs), sink it into getting your bike license and a motorcycle. Petrol is going to get amazingly expensive, plus it's fun and avoids getting you stuck in traffic. Also switch to diesel once you can afford to swap out your first car.
Thinking of which... that first car? Put an 8P on it, soon as. You'll know what I mean not too long after buying it. And don't ever - EVER - park it in the lower car park at your overnight job. You can get away with putting it in the upper one. Just leave a minute earlier.
If you end up at the wheel of a Hijet, ALWAYS ALWAYS ensure that the way is clear behind it before starting to reverse. GET OUT AND CHECK if you haven't driven past the target zone immediately before backing up.
16th December 2008, take the motorway home. 20th April 2009, get on the motorway at junction 7 whilst heading for work. Note these dates. And don't ever - EVER - leave a bag in plain sight when parking the car. Ever. If there's bulky but less easily carried or immediately valuable stuff in the boot (wheels, for example), put THEM in the cabin and the bags in the boot instead.
Don't bother trying to repair the exhaust or brakes yourself, give it to the professionals who'll do it quicker and cheaper. Everything else can be done at home, but not that, not easily.
If you're going to store anything longterm in the loft, OR your bedroom cupboard, make sure it's double bagged and sealed. Trust me on this one. Mess occurs.
Don't trust the Ditto drive OR the Danmere Backer. Seriously. Make sure all your data is on a second hard disk instead - it costs about the same and is far more reliable. Or even get a CD writer. And back up ALL the ST floppies ASAP, at the expense of other activities even.
Don't bother with video capture cards either. They never work right and are an evolutionary dead end. Huge waste of money and moreover time and effort. Homebrew VCDs & DVDs are barely worth it either. The future is in digital files. Just get a GOOD TV-out card.
Sabotage mum's attempt to apply for the school at the bottom of the hill where Rachel goes. You'll know it when the time comes. Do not allow her to work there. But make sure the interference is invisible. Short her car's ECU, intercept the application form and burn it, plant false stories of all kinds of unsavoury goings-on there in the local paper, etc. It won't kill her, but it's still hellish with a capital HELL.
Steve is actually a bastard, despite first appearances. If he has you out on a jaunt whilst he's looking for a new Saab, this is your cue to (again, silently) slash his tyres and fill them with cement, as he's planning a major Dick Move for the week right after. Think of it as preemptive karma.
Icebound road? Two wheels? 20mph maximum. TWENTY. TWO ZERO. OK? Got it? Good? Twenty. There are dickholes out there. And your stopping distance really does increase tenfold. Even if it looks completely clear and empty, they will appear from nowhere.
Anything you want to keep but aren't using on a daily basis, hide it at Nan's. Or aunts', uncles', dad's, friends' places. Anywhere but in the house itself.
Want to see something at the Imax? Book early, excruciatingly early.
Leftover computer parts? Have them recycled. Ditto any lads' mag more than 6 months old. There'll always be more - always.
If you have a bike needing to be replaced on insurance, demand the money in order to choose your own, because those guys have NO idea.
Go easy on the coffee. Buy your own weed. Chill. And force yourself to hang out with people more often and do more public speaking stuff. Get over the quiet mouse self image. It helps nothing. Also the more times you do it, the easier it gets. I know it's terrifying and difficult. I was there, right? But better to get it over with in a few sharp shocks early on than dragging it out into your 20s where it can do real damage.
Don't bother seriously investigating the specs for the new build, either in the pensionable gamma camera sanctuary, or the home of he who will become canonised. The first you may not be involved with (oh, and note the overbridge is staff-only and straying onto it without a keycard may end up with your being locked in), the other... all you can do is steer them towards a more sensible kit list. Everything else is wasted.
Don't trust sharepoint.
Take Friday 25th March 2011 off. Go downtown on foot. Let down Tom's tyres and hang around outside the flat. Ask him just what in God's sweet name he thinks he's fucking playing at. Secretly go to the gym for a few months in advance and practice your right hook too. Maybe take a cricket bat. It may be needed. Who knows. This one I can't predict. But it's that, or being kept in the dark until he's gone for good 36 hours later.
Ignore Star Wars eps 1-3, they are amazingly disappointing to the extent of becoming a cultural touchstone. Similarly the Indiana Jones revival. Star Wars, Bond and Dr Who prove good, however.
Book summer holidays before the end of the financial year. Late availabilities actually suck unless you're a family.
Don't work at the big Spar. The local one's alright, and you get free lunch. The other is hell.
Don't sweat Dad walking out. He won't be back. But he will be around. It works out. Emphasise to him as often and as forcefully as you can that he needs to keep some savings, avoid stupid "investment" opportunities (spoiler: NONE of them EVER work out - as if they would?!) that I assume he just found tied to a lamp post, and to look after the safety net first, fancy posh car and lifestyle second. Also, to find a job away from OSL as soon as possible, as they're going to tank and he's not getting any younger.
Oh, and don't bother with GT3. It's crap. No.4 is much better.
Just like Agnes, or Nostrodamus, a lot of these won't make much sense right now. Bullet-point them and refer back every few months.
Good luck young Padawan. Don't screw it up. My, by which I mean YOUR, future fortune and happiness rides on this. Particularly the Apple stocks and choice of uni course.
Yo Egg... Safe, man.
From future you, pushing 30, going nowhere fast after a pile of setbacks."
Now I just need to sit back, Dave Lister (Arnold Rimmer?) style, and wait for all the good stuff of the world to suddenly surround me. And then re-learn who half my friends now are.
"Don't sabotage yourself by being an asswipe to people who genuinely care bout ya.
Oh yeh and ya know that duke nukem game your planning on buying? ....I have some bad news"
Oh yeh and ya know that duke nukem game your planning on buying? ....I have some bad news"
You're going to die when you're 25 so enjoy the time you have. Every year after that will be a bonus you don't really want or need.
Dude, the winning lottery numbers on [insert date here] are [insert winning numbers here].
Don't worry about anything else, as it turns out, after a brief period of crazy (builds character) everything will be pretty awesome.
Don't worry about anything else, as it turns out, after a brief period of crazy (builds character) everything will be pretty awesome.
To young me "How listen, one day you'll be the most awesome thing in awesome town, hell you're pretty all currently, just grow an afro, oh what was that, you get an afro, yeaaaah, now knock 'em dead kiddo"
And to me on December 31st 2010 *grabs and slaps* "DON'T MAKEOUT WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN THE PERSON YOU LIKE OR SO HELP ME GOD"
And to me on December 31st 2010 *grabs and slaps* "DON'T MAKEOUT WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN THE PERSON YOU LIKE OR SO HELP ME GOD"
Me on March 3rd, 2009. "Tomorrow, Phong will commit suicide at the Susquehanna-Dauphin station on the south-bound side at 11:30am. Stop him at all costs, and I'd recommend showing up a little early just in case. I'd also recommend telling John Wilson to be extremely careful driving on October 22nd, 2010."
Because as much as I like who I am today, there are some things I'd give my whole world to have back.Chefodeath said:
Dear 12 year old me,
You're gonna do a lot of stupid stuff, but I'm not gonna tell you what it is, because they're really funny for me to look back on and laugh at.
...Fine fine I'll throw you a bone, don't go after Julie, she doesn't like you, don't go after her the second time either, she likes your best friend, also don't assist in that, pretty sure you mess it up. And for the love of god if you can't see the pattern here don't go after her a third time!
Love, your awesome sexy future self.
P.S play more frisbee, it's the only sport your good at, and it's freaking awesome.
You're gonna do a lot of stupid stuff, but I'm not gonna tell you what it is, because they're really funny for me to look back on and laugh at.
...Fine fine I'll throw you a bone, don't go after Julie, she doesn't like you, don't go after her the second time either, she likes your best friend, also don't assist in that, pretty sure you mess it up. And for the love of god if you can't see the pattern here don't go after her a third time!
Love, your awesome sexy future self.
P.S play more frisbee, it's the only sport your good at, and it's freaking awesome.
Stop watching cartoons you don't even like and instead do your fucking homework so you won't be 22 when you're going to university. Also, don't ignore the bullies but punch them in the face, getting in a fight won't kill you.
I want a time machine right now...
I want a time machine right now...
Dear God, I hope this is true for me. Can you pretend to be me when I'm older? Please? Just for today?CrashBang said:
OT: To myself when I was 7: "Man up you little *****. Oh, and start putting on a bit of weight - sure you'll be a bit chubby now, but when you grow up it'll come in useful".
Forgot to warn him about a wild eyed doctor in a DeLorean coming looking for it.Freakout456 said:
I'd probably warn myself about the dangers of procrastination. "Probably" because i'd probably do it later if i've nothing else to do. It's not like i have a time-travel deadline, is it?
Dear me,
First that girl you've been stalking, you know the one, yeah when you constantly stare at her it freaks her out, yeah I don't recomend doing that, if you stop lusting for her then you'll get better grades and realize at a young age you are actually pretty damn good at writing and then persue a career in that, also on the subject of careers you suck at Biology you are not going to be a doctor. Also, Ryan, yeah the kid who you've never spoken to, he's the most loyal friend you'll ever find, serious he'll be there for you 24/7 start talking to him NOW! Make friends with him NOW! It'll make your life so much easier. Also, College is as good as you think it is, the teachers respect you, there are no bullies stealing your bag or sticking their fingers in your ear, most importantly no Reis or Callum, also don't go to that college you think is awesome, begins with a B... go ask Ben which college he is going to and apply there it begins with a H. Apply for English Lit, English Lang and Psychology. You suck at Psychology so only stay there temp while you find another good friend called Mitchell. After that trade Psychology for Media Studies, trust me you'll love it. Also, in your second year, your perfect girl, you know the one who plays World of Warcraft and is the most beautiful girl you've ever laid eyes on. Yeah that'll never work, so stop lusting for her too, appreciate her friendship you stalker, when she breaks up and gets back together with her boyfriend don't think what could have been, she is out of your league, and that's a fact.
Also, some stuff I want you to change about yourself, Chavs are not cool you do not want to aspire to be a chav. I ain't joking cut it out with that stupid slang and typing in slang... serious what are you a moron? Who types 'U R 2' instead of words. Stop being so lazy! Stop listening to Eminem and 50 Cent, youtube Slipknot, Atreyu, Bullet for my Valentine, Aiden, Bury Tomorrow and Amity Affliction. Don't worry this is just to start you off, eventually you start liking WhiteChapel and Chelsea Grin, but you're ears are not ready for music so awesome, so don't even think about searching for them.
Play World of Warcraft early, but don't tell your friends, except Ryan, serious you'll get the piss taken out of you. Level to 70, join an awesome guild, and get awesome gear, and then ***** slap them because you're a hell of a lot better than them, serious for all of their bragging they are shit at this game while you are awesome. Also stop pissing about with your Druid you suck at Druids, make a Rogue, Night Elf Female, no it isn't gay to play Female characters, but Rogue is your true calling and you're badass at them, stop buying vanity stuff with your gold, such a waste, save up for a mount, also learn Skinning and Mining, thats how you make some gold to fund your mounts, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SPEND 48 HOURS STRAIGHT FARMING SFK AT LEVEL 40 FOR THE MONEY TO BUY YOUR LEVEL 40 MOUNT. (Remember Night Elf Rogue on the Realm Dragonblight)
Also, a few things, do NOT buy Sector 8, Aliens Vs Predator, Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, or Assassins Creed 2. You never play them. Serious you buy 'em and throw 'em away. Don't waste your money. I recomend you buy BioShock, BioShock 2, Prototype, Batman: Arkham Asylum, The Orange Box. Also don't waste your money on stupid stuff like Lil Ragnaros, Lil KT, Lil XT, serious that is money you could be using on somet... well I dunno... USEFUL! Don't buy Alex Rider, do not buy Hells Underground, do not buy Spooks Series, buy Terry Pratchett. He is a major influence in your life, and you wasted like £200 on books you never read while you spent £100 on Terry Pratchett books you've read 5 times each.
From your Future Self.
(Man I wasted soooooo much money....)
First that girl you've been stalking, you know the one, yeah when you constantly stare at her it freaks her out, yeah I don't recomend doing that, if you stop lusting for her then you'll get better grades and realize at a young age you are actually pretty damn good at writing and then persue a career in that, also on the subject of careers you suck at Biology you are not going to be a doctor. Also, Ryan, yeah the kid who you've never spoken to, he's the most loyal friend you'll ever find, serious he'll be there for you 24/7 start talking to him NOW! Make friends with him NOW! It'll make your life so much easier. Also, College is as good as you think it is, the teachers respect you, there are no bullies stealing your bag or sticking their fingers in your ear, most importantly no Reis or Callum, also don't go to that college you think is awesome, begins with a B... go ask Ben which college he is going to and apply there it begins with a H. Apply for English Lit, English Lang and Psychology. You suck at Psychology so only stay there temp while you find another good friend called Mitchell. After that trade Psychology for Media Studies, trust me you'll love it. Also, in your second year, your perfect girl, you know the one who plays World of Warcraft and is the most beautiful girl you've ever laid eyes on. Yeah that'll never work, so stop lusting for her too, appreciate her friendship you stalker, when she breaks up and gets back together with her boyfriend don't think what could have been, she is out of your league, and that's a fact.
Also, some stuff I want you to change about yourself, Chavs are not cool you do not want to aspire to be a chav. I ain't joking cut it out with that stupid slang and typing in slang... serious what are you a moron? Who types 'U R 2' instead of words. Stop being so lazy! Stop listening to Eminem and 50 Cent, youtube Slipknot, Atreyu, Bullet for my Valentine, Aiden, Bury Tomorrow and Amity Affliction. Don't worry this is just to start you off, eventually you start liking WhiteChapel and Chelsea Grin, but you're ears are not ready for music so awesome, so don't even think about searching for them.
Play World of Warcraft early, but don't tell your friends, except Ryan, serious you'll get the piss taken out of you. Level to 70, join an awesome guild, and get awesome gear, and then ***** slap them because you're a hell of a lot better than them, serious for all of their bragging they are shit at this game while you are awesome. Also stop pissing about with your Druid you suck at Druids, make a Rogue, Night Elf Female, no it isn't gay to play Female characters, but Rogue is your true calling and you're badass at them, stop buying vanity stuff with your gold, such a waste, save up for a mount, also learn Skinning and Mining, thats how you make some gold to fund your mounts, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SPEND 48 HOURS STRAIGHT FARMING SFK AT LEVEL 40 FOR THE MONEY TO BUY YOUR LEVEL 40 MOUNT. (Remember Night Elf Rogue on the Realm Dragonblight)
Also, a few things, do NOT buy Sector 8, Aliens Vs Predator, Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, or Assassins Creed 2. You never play them. Serious you buy 'em and throw 'em away. Don't waste your money. I recomend you buy BioShock, BioShock 2, Prototype, Batman: Arkham Asylum, The Orange Box. Also don't waste your money on stupid stuff like Lil Ragnaros, Lil KT, Lil XT, serious that is money you could be using on somet... well I dunno... USEFUL! Don't buy Alex Rider, do not buy Hells Underground, do not buy Spooks Series, buy Terry Pratchett. He is a major influence in your life, and you wasted like £200 on books you never read while you spent £100 on Terry Pratchett books you've read 5 times each.
From your Future Self.
(Man I wasted soooooo much money....)