Mock The Week...Escapist Style
- Thread starter Ben Legend
- Start date
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I don't think anyone can top thisKinichie said:
EDIT - You already did, my bad.
"Oh Look, A Giraffe."Ben Legend said:
..
An "in-joke" between friends of something that is unlikely to be heard anywhere.. don't think I've ever heard of a giraffe being at a gaming convention..
The truth.(from the guys who promote the games)
"Amazing revolutionary gameplay! Inspiring graphics!"
25years and 3 realease date push backs later...
"Hmm...seems okay so fa-WHY DID HIS SWORD GO THROUGH THE WALL!? WHY DID IT INSTA KILL ME!? WHY WON'T MY CHARACTER JUMP WHEN I TELL HIM TO!? FUUUUUUUUUU!"
[sub]Yes, I know caps makes everything better[/sub]
EDIT:
Oh I got Another one.
After much anticipation...we are now releasing Duke Nukem Forever across all consoles!
"Amazing revolutionary gameplay! Inspiring graphics!"
25years and 3 realease date push backs later...
"Hmm...seems okay so fa-WHY DID HIS SWORD GO THROUGH THE WALL!? WHY DID IT INSTA KILL ME!? WHY WON'T MY CHARACTER JUMP WHEN I TELL HIM TO!? FUUUUUUUUUU!"
[sub]Yes, I know caps makes everything better[/sub]
EDIT:
Oh I got Another one.
After much anticipation...we are now releasing Duke Nukem Forever across all consoles!
Gabe: I'm proud to announce that Half Life 2 Episode 3 will be hitting the shelves in just under a month. Due to lack of demand from the PC gamer demographic, it'll be a primarily Wii exclusive, although a special edition collectors pack will be released for the C64 in just under 6 months.Ben Legend said:
That's not funny dude... Seriously, that's going too far, what a sick mind.wordsmith said:
OT: "I tried to convince the beauty pageant judges that gaming was a unique talent but that didn't work out too well."
Won't be the next gaming revolution, but an incredibly hard to control waste of space. All yours for £400!
Or: EA here, we are proud to announce no more of our games will contain Third Party DRM! And also all DLC will be free from now on!
Or again: Bethseda Softworks here! We've looked at Morrowind to see what made it so successful and decided it was the Bugs! So we're releasing a new game Called Bethseda Buglair! The skybox will be completely unanimated, and in parts just pink! low level monsters may fall through the map making you incapable of hitting them but they will chase you down! NPC's will randomly attack you! Potions will have mixed up labels! And much much more!
Or: EA here, we are proud to announce no more of our games will contain Third Party DRM! And also all DLC will be free from now on!
Or again: Bethseda Softworks here! We've looked at Morrowind to see what made it so successful and decided it was the Bugs! So we're releasing a new game Called Bethseda Buglair! The skybox will be completely unanimated, and in parts just pink! low level monsters may fall through the map making you incapable of hitting them but they will chase you down! NPC's will randomly attack you! Potions will have mixed up labels! And much much more!
"We, the collective members of the ESA, have agreed to the following:
We will no longer make 'casual games,' particularly such games for the Wii, whose sole purpose is to make money off utter shit.
We will no longer make movie games.
We will no longer remake or revive series which are clearly dead and should remain so.
We will now actually make games which are not clear rip-offs of other games an will instead invest in new IPs and unique gameplay mechanics.
We will stop firing employees for unclear or clearly unecessary reasons.
And we will finally stop treating gamers like they solely exist to shovel money into our wallets."
We will no longer make 'casual games,' particularly such games for the Wii, whose sole purpose is to make money off utter shit.
We will no longer make movie games.
We will no longer remake or revive series which are clearly dead and should remain so.
We will now actually make games which are not clear rip-offs of other games an will instead invest in new IPs and unique gameplay mechanics.
We will stop firing employees for unclear or clearly unecessary reasons.
And we will finally stop treating gamers like they solely exist to shovel money into our wallets."
"and as a promotional advertisement for Dante's journey into Lust heres a lactating jelly fish"
[screams,gasps and excited cheering]
[screams,gasps and excited cheering]
