Most laughable Dialogue in a Game

[BKtheKITTY]

Fable/ Lost Chapters, the introduction of the first Trader when you buy your sisters' present. Gets me every time.

 

[Ravenseeker]

any Sonic or Resident Evil game because they're just bad, but not as worse as Spiderman Web of Shadows. Seriously Spiderman sounds like a wimp


of course any game made by Tim Shafer like Grim Fandango or Psychonauts and soon to be Brutal Legends

And last but not least: any Ratchet game


edit: you want bad commentary? play the old pokemon stadium games from the n64

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

Ahahaha! Yes, KQ! I haven't played that game in years, but my God, that was quite possibly the worst... And then my younger brother would run around randomly shouting 'Tis beyond my reach!' over and over...

Lo! What about the Elder Scrolls games? Half of that doesn't even make any sense... Half the time I got so frustrated by the stupid dialogue and terrible voice acting that I wanted to throw my controller through the television screen.

Yeah, TES were pretty bad, (mudcrabs) but I still hold that nothing will beat Roberta Williams' abominations. KQ: 'tis beyond my patience.

Oh, Connor of Daventry, you crazy bastard...

And that lamenting unicorn! Jeez!

Connor: "Pathetic beast. Why so sad?"
Unicorn: "A pox on thee! I am a magnificent unicorn! Not a pathetic beast!"
Connor: *exaggerated surprise* "A unicorn?!"
Unicorn: "Aye, though woe is me. I have lost my horn, and my appearance beside."
etc...

I'm suddenly very very frightened that I can remember that much of the script after all these years.
The dialogue in that game was just painful.
Except that giant snail guy who ruled the swamps. He was awesome.

It's been years since I have played KQ 8 but wow, you remembered the dialog?. Then again I remember bit of dialog from KQ 6 so I can't comment:/

Connor: Alack from whence came this foul tempest?

 

[HentMas]

TO LAUGH AND GROW FAT

from MGS2

it was great because a friend of mine... quite a heavy fellow made it his own in a poker game

That was actually in MGS3 where you had to sneak around in a scientist uniform.

amm... no, its what "Fat Man" says when Raiden fights with him... in the copter pad

 

[Brownie101]

Ugh, just scrolling the Allied's units in RA3.

They are all try-hards.
Excpet the Athena Sat Uplink.
"How can I be of assistance?"
"Please Hold." ~Hate hearing that mid-fight.

And then there's most of the allied's units:
"Right Chaps, let's go!"
"I'm on it!"
*NOTE* Say those with a VERY try-hard british accent. Waayy too british.

Mirage Tanks...
"Bonjour Commander." AND NOW WE'RE THE FRENCH!

 

[KaiRai]

The master of the fighters guild on Oblivion talking to one of his underlings saying "I saw a mud crab today, and I just had to avoid it"

Also not quite dialogue, but watching PS1 characters talking. So many arm movements!!!

 

[Loafers]

Yes, anything from the infamous Nintendo CD-I games are laughable.

Having conversations with Morte in Planescape: Torment always end in a laugh. You know your top priority after waking up in a mortuary is to pick up zombie chicks.

Also Earthbound, Grim Fandango (Monkey Island, etc).

 

[miccy2000]

I've only ever heard it from a guard ONCE, in Oblivion, my brother was playing and a guard said 'You move like a pregnant cow!'

I laughed so much.

Also, House of the Dead: Suffer like G did?
Classic.

That and anything the computer in Portal says.

 

[Loafers]

I've only ever heard it from a guard ONCE, in Oblivion, my brother was playing and a guard said 'You move like a pregnant cow!'

I laughed so much.

Also, House of the Dead: Suffer like G did?
Classic.

That and anything the computer in Portal says.

Ah yes, House of the Dead. Also the guards saying "Stop right there, criminal scum!" in Oblivion is hilarious, but at no fault of its own really.

 

[miccy2000]

MATILDA

not what she say just how she says it

Oh shit man, I say MATILDAAAA! so much now whenever anything even slightly bad happens.

If we're playing Left 4 Dead and a Tank kills me, I'll yell it as I die.

Awesomeness.

 

[Cheesebob]

I'm GONNA SKULL FUCK THAT *****

Hope you don't get hepertitus

Saints Row 1

NOTHING BUT BITS!!

Marcus Fenix

 

[UnearthedArcana]

Resident Evil.

'Here, take this lockpick. I thought you, the master of unlocking, could use it'

 

[miccy2000]

FRANCIS IS FRICKING BRILL!!!
even though there isnt much in the world that he actaully likes and is will to express hes opinion on everything he walks across xD!!!

Francis: I hate the water.

Francis: I hate Ayn Rand.

Francis: I hate vans.

Francis: I hate sewers.

Francis: I hate train yards.

Francis: I hate subways.

Francis: I hate small towns.

Francis: I hate planes.

Francis: I hate lawyers. When are they gonna get done practicing law?

Francis: I hate elevators.

Francis: I hate helicopters.

Francis: I hate hospitals. And doctors and lawyers and cops...

Bill: Francis is there anything you don't hate?

Francis: You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests.

I can't believe I didn't think of this one right away, me and a friend kept dying on the last level of Death Toll and had to heard 'I hate the water' over and over.

We were so happy when we got to the point he says it and realised that a Tank had killed him, it was truly a blessing.