Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?

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Spawn_Of_Kyuss

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Mar 11, 2009
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manicfoot said:
Two old men are in retirement and are losing their minds. One of them genuinely believes he is Elvis Presley, the other believes he is JFK despite being black (they took out JFK's brain and put it in his head because it'd be the 'last place anyone would look'). Together, they defend their house from a mummy.
I fuckin loved Bubba Hotep.

Just nitpicking, they dyed JFK to make him black rather than the brain thing. I think.
 

manicfoot

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Apr 16, 2008
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Spawn_Of_Kyuss said:
manicfoot said:
Two old men are in retirement and are losing their minds. One of them genuinely believes he is Elvis Presley, the other believes he is JFK despite being black (they took out JFK's brain and put it in his head because it'd be the 'last place anyone would look'). Together, they defend their house from a mummy.
I fuckin loved Bubba Hotep.

Just nitpicking, they dyed JFK to make him black rather than the brain thing. I think.
Heh. You may be right. I've not actually seen the film. My friend told me a brief synopsis and consequently its now on the top of my to-watch list :D
 

Korolev

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Jul 4, 2008
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Turkish star wars..... I'm not sure what the real name of it is, but google "turkish star wars" and you should be able to watch the whole thing on Google Video...... does it have a plot? I mean, even though I couldn't understand the language, there's no way that film had a coherent plot.

Runner up would be Eraserhead, but that film doesn't count because I think it doesn't really have a "plot".
 

Citizen.Erased

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May 19, 2009
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Teeth. Personally never seen the movie (and possibly never want to either), but when my friend went 'yeah, vagina with teeth' I knew it was some serious shit.
 

TheLastCylon

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Apr 14, 2009
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The crank series. I'm not really sure how a man can survive a fall from a helicopter and then get his heart replaced by a battery.
 

Arrers

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Mar 4, 2009
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Fanusc101 said:
The crank series. I'm not really sure how a man can survive a fall from a helicopter and then get his heart replaced by a battery.
He's Jason Statham. His chin must have broken his fall or somthing.
 

WolfLordAndy

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Sep 19, 2008
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So you get some snakes right, the you put them on a plane...

Also, another terrible movie... you get some flesh-eating zombie disease, you then carry it on a passenger plane...
 

Inco

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Sep 12, 2008
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Basically just this-
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095655/synopsis

It has my vote by a long shot after the first paragraph, oh and contains spoilers.
 

ix_tab

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Apr 25, 2009
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Chandi Chowk to China: An Indian man with bad luck gets mistaken for the rebirth of a Chinese peasant warrior, and must defend helpless Chinese villagers from an evil crime lord.

I should also say that Chandi Chowk to China is my favourite movie in the universe. It doesn't mean I can't notice that it's on crack. But seriously, it's fucking awesome.

AN ALBINO GIANT IN A SILVER FUR LINED COAT THROWS A BABY AND A COP OFF THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA OK

If you can't appreciate that you have no soul, sorry to say.
 

Avatar Roku

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Jul 9, 2008
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tharwen said:
300

Spartans go to persia. Spartans kill persians. Spartan woman has sex. Spartans die. More Spartans come. End.
You know it's based on a real battle, the Battle of Thermopylae, right? The film itself might not be exactly truthful to the history, but the premise is stuff that actually happened.
 

Cowabungaa

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Feb 10, 2008
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tharwen said:
300

Persians go to Sparta. Spartans kill persians. Spartan woman has sex. Spartans die. More Spartans come. End.
Fixed that for you, the Persians were invading the Greek city states. And yes it actually happend, albeit not in the form of the picture. Especially those other soldiers were portrayed in a way too negative light, they did a lot more.
 

Anachronism

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Apr 9, 2009
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Vrex360 said:
But honestly the most awful plot premise for any movie has to go to whatever Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (team behind that 'Movie' franchise) come up with in every film they make.
It still baffles me how they continue to somehow get funding for their dreadful, dreadful films. They made two last year! Superhero Movie and Disaster Movie! Who keeps giving them money?
Assassinator said:
Especially those other soldiers were portrayed in a way too negative light, they did a lot more.
Absolutely. If the film had been more historically accurate, it would have been called 1300. Along with the 300 Spartans, about 1000 Thespians stayed behind to help fight off the Persians.
 

ratbob985

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Nov 28, 2008
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spontaneous combustion... seriously the entire movie is summed up in the title, watching it on dvd we all got a little lost after the mother gave birth then burst into flames and fast forwarded between the scenes of people lighting on fire
 

Kpt._Rob

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Apr 22, 2009
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Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Remember, Michael Myers, the killer in all the Halloween movies? Well he isn't in Halloween III. Why? Well they killed him off in 2, only to bring him back in 4, so what'd you get with Season of the Witch? Pure bad plot gold. To give a brief summary, a guy who looks like he's attended one too many Magnum P.I. conventions teams up with some girl he hasn't ever met before, and they set off to solve the mystery of the girl's father's death. Turns out that an Irish toy company staffed by androids stole part of stonehenge, this was hooked up to a computer and used to produce cursed Halloween masks. Then on Halloween they're going to broadcast a special signal on the air, and any kid who is wearing their mask while the signal goes out will have their head melted, and snakes and bugs will come out of the ooze.

... You can't make this kind of shit up.
 

Ancalagon

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May 14, 2008
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Electric Dreams. Released in the early eighties, my memory is a little hazy, but I think that the plot goes something like this:

The main character is called Miles. He decides that he needs to get in to this new computer fad that's going around, so buys himself a personal computer with all the gubbins. Late at night, after setting it all up, he spills champagne all over his new computer. Naturally, this causes the computer to become sentient. Miles falls in love with the girl next door, who's played by Virginia Madsen. He then enlists the help of the computer - who's called Edgar by the way - to win her heart.

Unfortunately, Edgar also falls in love with Ms. Madsen, and begins to compete with Miles for her heart. After a degree of hijinks, Edgar realises that Virginia can never love him, so he sends a massive electrical charge through the 'phone line, around the world, and back to himself, whereupon he explodes. Miles and his lady drive off in to the sunset. But then, the soul of Edgar takes over all the radio stations in America, intercoms as well, and plays the song 'Electric Dreams', by Phil Oakey and Giorgio Moroder, to which the general population dance wildly.

I can't recommend this film highly enough; it's an incredible story that shows just how ignorant people once were about what computers could and couldn't do.
 

pdgeorge

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Dec 25, 2008
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Doom, the movie.

"Ok... we're making a movie about a video game. This game is about scientists who accidently open up a portal to hell and demons break free into our dimension and one soldier fights his way through hell and kills satan"
"what was that? I wasn't listening. All I heard was something about genetic modification that could be affected by a genome that determines if your good or evil"

What... the.... hell...
 

dwightsteel

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Feb 7, 2007
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stinkychops said:
Um, well I think that IronMan had a terrible plot. There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic, yet the movie tried so hard.
So, I'm not flaming you, because I don't want to get suspended again, but explain yourself. The fact that you said, and I quote, "There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic" feels like a complete cop out. Considering how many people love this movie, I think you owe it to us to explain that statement with some detail, unless you're content to be the schmuck who claims that Iron Man made no sense with absolutely nothing to back up your statement.
 

Vrex360

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Mar 2, 2009
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pdgeorge said:
Doom, the movie.

"Ok... we're making a movie about a video game. This game is about scientists who accidently open up a portal to hell and demons break free into our dimension and one soldier fights his way through hell and kills satan"
"what was that? I wasn't listening. All I heard was something about genetic modification that could be affected by a genome that determines if your good or evil"

What... the.... hell...
Yeah that was just ludicrous... I actually would have preferred it if they just made it about aliens... god they ripped off Aliens enough. At least aliens would have been plausible.
FPS section was okay though.