Most Stupid Plotline

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wolf thing

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Mass Effect 2 had a really shitty plot. the whole point of the game is to go into the center of the galaxies which is uncharted space and no body has ever gotten there, so why would you fill a ship with foot soldiers. you spend the whole game getting foot soldier but for what, up to this point we are told that no one has ever gotten through the omega 4 relay so how would we know that we would need infantry, you would get more ships not boots for the ground. we have no reason to belive there is any form of land mass which we could land or have any reason to land on. the game has as its main focus getting character for your party and only has ship upgrade as a menu, it is masily stupid. none of the character make any sense for you to pick exspet moradon who was used to counter act the collector swarms. lets also not forget that cerburas a terrist cell puts branding all over its equipment and that the alliances couldnt care less that one of there soldier cameback to life, you'd think the admiralty would want to talk to there two year dead commder and maybe he would want to talk to him. shepard could have flu into human space and talk to the human forces.
 

Olas

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deathbydeath said:
Mirror's Edge as well as Mass Effect 2 and up would qualify for this thread.

[sub]don'tjudgedon'tjudgeme[/sub] Up, up and AWAY!! *flies off into the sky*
I agree with you human. Stares upward longingly, Goodbye.

With bottled up rage, Metroid Other M's story is an insult to the entire series, and not just because of Samus' characterization. The entire storyline is nonsensical, it introduces plots that go nowhere, characters who act like total jerks who we're then supposed to feel sympathy for, and radically alters many key scientific facts of the Metroid universe in favor of more plot convenient ones. All of this could actually be forgivable if the cutscenes for the game weren't horribly long, repetitive, boring, unskippable, and if they didn't play out like a bad soap-opera.

With indignation, I like to believe it was all a crazy dream Samus was having after an acid trip.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Kopikatsu said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
Kopikatsu said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
The Resident Evil games. Courtesy of Umbrella Inc, whose economy hinges on turning half the world's population into zombies and making them kill the other half. BRILLIANT.
Spencer actually only used the Progenitor Virus to create BOWs because it was meant to fund his personal research; which is how to become immortal. He actually discovered the secret to immortality, but both Weskers ruined it for him (Albert stole/destroyed the research and Alex stole the last sample). Spencer was afraid of dying, you see. (But then Albert killed him in 5, so whatever).
Ah yes, "BOWs". A zombie by any other name. I don't give a fuck about Spencer's goal, the games still reek with stupidity. Making zombies is profitable how? You don't see a single successful transaction in the whole series, and at no point do they prove to be any more effective than a damn bomb, or an RE protagonist for that matter. You can't control them, you can't direct them, half the time they're product of an outbreak or side-effects of their "main" research. They're constantly losing facilities (where do they get them?), staff members (again, who the fuck hires these people?) and money. As an industry they're constantly suffering losses, never turn a profit, have been shut down by the very president of the USA... nice try but Umbrella is a stupid as the plots that it causes.
...??? Resident Evil 5 is all about how the BOWs are being sold all over the world on the black market. That's why the BSAA was created, because outbreaks were showing up everywhere as a result of Umbrella's dissolution. There were big bucks to be made in selling armies of mutant freaks to various warlords. U-8's file in particular reveals that it's extremely effective at defending areas and U-8's have been utilized for that purpose, but they're terrible on offense because it tends to starve to death as a result of it's size and metabolism. It also mentions there is a series called U-8 Prime that are completely immune to everything, but it's rare for those to see use in the field. Resident Evil: Degeneration also reveals that some nations are either manufacturing or buying Tyrant-class zombies in order to supplement a more traditional army. Ivans in particular are loyal, immune to small arms, and were shown to easily be able to destroy a tank even with it's power limiter still active. And outside of the very basic T-virus zombies and G-bodies, they can be successfully commanded. It's not a plot point that comes up often, but they definitely can be. Especially with Plagas, because having a Command Plagas gives you total control over lesser Plaga.

Also, Umbrella made hella money. The BOWs were mostly created as a result of Spencer's research, but Umbrella was primarily a pharmaceutical company. They made the bulk of their money by selling drugs. They also had other 'covers', such as an oil processing plant in Europe. Until the Raccoon City Incident, anyway. Then yes, they were eventually shut down. Most of Umbrella's labs operated without major incident. You just only see the ones that go critical, because...otherwise there wouldn't be a game.
But that's just some contrived retcon they came up for RE5. How's the rest of the series fit into this amazing scheme?
 

Kopikatsu

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Johnny Novgorod said:
But that's just some contrived retcon they came up for RE5. How's the rest of the series fit into this amazing scheme?
What do you mean? Which part was a contrived retcon and what part of the series fits where? I'm a bit confused.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Kopikatsu said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
But that's just some contrived retcon they came up for RE5. How's the rest of the series fit into this amazing scheme?
What do you mean? Which part was a contrived retcon and what part of the series fits where? I'm a bit confused.
OK, RE1 - zombie outbreak in Arklay. That's on purpose right? Umbrella destroying its facility and killing its whole staff in testing their zombies against two people? And a day before in ZERO an old Umbrella researcher was resurrected and destroyed ANOTHER facility, but that was accidental? Then in RE2 and RE3 the zombies take over town, again accidentally. All of our beloved heroes survive and have chockfull of proof in their inventories pointing to Umbrella, yet for some reason the company remains operational. Then in VERONICA it turns out Umbrella also operates in Paris... and some shitty prison island... and Antarctica... where there're also zombies... and I dunno, where's Spencer in all of this? He's mentioned now and then but we don't see him and learn his intents until RE5, which came out well over 10 years after RE1 (and it's not really the fifth game either but hey, who's counting?). It's completely out of the blue and explains where the fuck Umbrella gets all their funding (oh, some rich dude) but it makes little sense with the actions and events of the previous games. ZERO, for instance. Zombie sharks, zombie monkeys, zombie dogs, zombie everything. Are zombie sharks particularly more dangerous than regular sharks? Why experiment on fish in the first place? For giggles? There never is any mention of cross species genetics. Oh, and how remarkable that we find a fossilized virus in medieval anachronistic Spain that looks and works just about exactly as the one we accidentally developed in XXth century USA. The incoherence list goes on.
 

Veylon

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FalloutJack said:
Enter Ultimecia, the badly-named and badly-accented lordess of the future, a world devoid of defiance against her and filled with monsters galore, a dark rule in a dark future. And aside from having the biggest ego a sorceress could have, she is content. Except, wait no! A prophecy that says she'll be killed by SeeD, the organization which has no living member in her era and therefore no means to harm her ever! Whelp, time to compress time, I guess. Was there ever an actual POINT to wanting to compress time? Already ruling the world, what else do you need?!
To a certain extent, I could accept this plot if was established that Ultimecia was some sort of ultra-ambitious OCD type for whom no amount of control could ever be enough. The kind who wants to reshape the world in their image and is willing to extend "the world" far beyond a single planet at one time.

In that case, you wouldn't need a prophecy; the villain would be psychologically incapable of not going after any enemy, real or imagined. Simply the fact that the main characters exist would be reason enough, in her own mind, to hunt down and exterminate them.

But, yeah. We get a prophecy (from who, exactly?) that any confident time-altering monarch ought to laugh off. If all she wanted was to absorb the world, she has the future to do that. There's no need to change the past, it was already leading to her victory.
 

PBMcNair

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an annoyed writer said:
As much as I enjoyed the game, Splinter Cell Conviction. Sam Fisher is not the least bit interested in their stupid takeover whatsoever and is halfway around the world, looking for his daughter's killer. Grim, his buddy from the old Third Echelon days, somehow convinces the team of fucktards that she's working with to drug and kidnap him, and he winds up fucking up their whole stupid plot because of it. Why did they think drugging and kidnapping a top-level former superagent was a fucking good idea? What kind of mental gymnastics did they have to pull to think that was a good fucking idea? Considering that intelligence, Grim mustn't have had a hard time convincing them...
Havn't played in in a while but I think it goes liek this:

Kobin is warned Sam is after him (probably by Grim) and sends a hit team. Grim helps Sam beat them and "uncover" who sent them. Sam wrecks shit, meaning Third Echelon has to step in and stop him. Kobin is involved in the EMP plot, and Third assume Sam knows something about that, seeing as Sarah's death was faked secretly by Lambert, using Kobin.

Basicly Grim manipulates Kobin into attacking Sam, so Sam will strike back and be brought in by Third Echelon, so she can manipulate Sam into helping her. When I look back over it, I really can't blame Sam for going all shooty, mood he would have been in.
 

Lilani

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Unskippable recently looked at the Amazing Spiderman game, and I was astounded at how stupid those few minutes of animation were. Mary Jane was nearly blurting out Peter's secret identity at every turn, the both of them were in the top secret part lab at a time they weren't supposed to be there (but for some reason there were people working everywhere), and rather than being kicked out they're not only given a tour of the facility by the CEO of the company, but also are asked to help out transporting a mutated monster. What the fuck? A civilian and a worker who is not supposed to be there should have been kicked out of the lab or arrested, not given a tour and asked to help handle a monster. And then even as the monster was starting to break out of its cage the scientists didn't run, they just stood there and watched as it slowly broke the glass encasing it, as though they were just waiting for it to kill them.

Who the fuck writes this stuff? It doesn't make any sense at all. That just isn't how things would have happened. That isn't how people work. The problem isn't any of the science, it's that the people do not behave like people.
 

Tom_green_day

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Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Probably the worst plot I've played- and I've played CoD games. The story is basically... Conspiracy! This word is meant to fill in the whole plot despite the fact that there is no real suggestion of it until it's brought up.
and then the illumi-feckin-nati? SERIOUSLY?
Basically, I hate it when that C-word is meant to be substitute for a genuine plot.
 

Kopikatsu

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Johnny Novgorod said:
Kopikatsu said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
But that's just some contrived retcon they came up for RE5. How's the rest of the series fit into this amazing scheme?
What do you mean? Which part was a contrived retcon and what part of the series fits where? I'm a bit confused.
OK, RE1 - zombie outbreak in Arklay. That's on purpose right? Umbrella destroying its facility and killing its whole staff in testing their zombies against two people? And a day before in ZERO an old Umbrella researcher was resurrected and destroyed ANOTHER facility, but that was accidental? Then in RE2 and RE3 the zombies take over town, again accidentally. All of our beloved heroes survive and have chockfull of proof in their inventories pointing to Umbrella, yet for some reason the company remains operational. Then in VERONICA it turns out Umbrella also operates in Paris... and some shitty prison island... and Antarctica... where there're also zombies... and I dunno, where's Spencer in all of this? He's mentioned now and then but we don't see him and learn his intents until RE5, which came out well over 10 years after RE1 (and it's not really the fifth game either but hey, who's counting?). It's completely out of the blue and explains where the fuck Umbrella gets all their funding (oh, some rich dude) but it makes little sense with the actions and events of the previous games. ZERO, for instance. Zombie sharks, zombie monkeys, zombie dogs, zombie everything. Are zombie sharks particularly more dangerous than regular sharks? Why experiment on fish in the first place? For giggles? There never is any mention of cross species genetics. Oh, and how remarkable that we find a fossilized virus in medieval anachronistic Spain that looks and works just about exactly as the one we accidentally developed in XXth century USA. The incoherence list goes on.
The Arklay outbreak was actually the doing of Marcus (The main antagonist of Zero) as 'revenge' for Umbrella's assassination of him. So he's responsible for both of those outbreaks, and both occurred against the wishes of Umbrella as a whole (Although both happened because of Spencer's actions. Had he not ordered Marcus to be assassinated, then neither outbreak would have occurred).

2 and 3 are an extension of the Arklay outbreak. Throughout all of the early REs, you find newspapers and files saying that something was coming out of the Arklay Mountains and attacking people in the town (Although as there were only a few deaths and no witnesses, the police claimed it was probably a wild animal doing the killings when it was actually Cerberuses). Arklay is very close to Raccoon City geologically. While the outbreak in Raccoon City was technically an accident, it was still orchestrated by Marcus. And...er...the survivors did reveal what Umbrella was doing to the government. That's why Umbrella was eventually shut down. It took a bit after the Raccoon City incident because when the city was nuked, it destroyed all of the hard evidence (Or at least whatever was left after Leon blew up the underground lab).

Spencer's intentions are littered throughout RE 0-5 in the form of files and archives. The reason he had Marcus assassinated was because he was paranoid about Marcus using his research to increase his standing in the company. So he transferred the t-virus/BOW research to Arklay and had Marcus killed, which set off Marcus being revived by the Progenitor-infected Leeches and his subsequent releasing the virus on both his own facility and the Arklay facility.

As for the various BOWs...yeah, they tested it on everything. That's sort of the point of doing research. Marcus created Plague Crawlers from insects, Lurkers from frogs, and Eliminators from monkeys for example. Why wouldn't they test the extent of the t-virus's capabilities?

Spencer only provided the funding needed to get Umbrella started. Once they were established as a company, they funded research and development on the Progenitor virus using their legitimate exploits (Pharmaceuticals, oil, etc).

Also...wat. Las Plagas is nothing like the t-virus. Plaga are an actual parasite that takes over the host body (We have parasites that operate like this in real life). Plaga infectees are still living but can only be killed by damaging the Plaga itself. The T-virus just reanimates/mutates the dead. They're completely different things.
 

FalloutJack

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Veylon said:
Indeed. Unfortunately, the woman is troperific in a bad way. A Giant Space Flea From Nowhere guilty of Nice Job Fixing It Villain with a severe case of Idiot Ball syndrome and is - just to top it off - a Goddamned Boss in a game that is a big Guide Dang It and The Computer Is A Cheating Bastard.

There's probably lots of bad tropes, but I don't feel like looking them all up.
 

Tazzman

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GamerMage said:
Tazzman said:
I love the old incompetent guard story.
"Sir the prisoner is escaping," Identical Man 1 "should we go after him?"
"No that involves effort, instead we'll cover over the incident by telling everyone that (insert sinister evil here) has returned and the prisoner is destined to stop it." Identical man 2
"Shouldn't we just search the prisoner for escape tools beforehand" Identical man 1
"These gloves don't wash themselves, you know" Identical man 2

I love the elder scrolls games but seeing all those empty jail cells makes me wonder if I'm just part of one giant conspiracy theory! Also yes I do suck at comedy
Kinda reminds me of DA:Origins when you're captured. Guard 1: "Sir,we've removed all weaponry and armor from the Grey Warden." Guy 2: "Excellent." There's no way he's getting out of there unless the guards are idiots or he has magic powers. Buut what are the odds of that happening? " (My character was a higher level Mage at that point. LOL)
I played through that game twice and I can't for the life of me remember when you get captured haa
 

XMark

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Modern Warfare 3. It was ridiculous enough that the Russians launched a full-scale invasion on the US in MW2, but then after the Americans pushed them back, where the hell did they get the resources to invade all of Europe simultaneously? The defeat in the US would have been the costliest military blunder in history.
 

Legion

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Deu Sex said:
Bioshock Infinite. Why didn't Elizabeth just teleport herself and Kaiser Soze to Paris?
It mentioned it quite clearly. Elizabeth could not create her own tears due to the Syphon, she could only open up existing ones. By the time she gained the ability to open up her own tears, it was beyond the point where going to Paris was her main priority.

She can't teleport, she can open doorways into other universes. So even if she did go to Paris, she wouldn't be in the Paris of the world she left, she'd be in a different universe.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Kopikatsu said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
Kopikatsu said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
But that's just some contrived retcon they came up for RE5. How's the rest of the series fit into this amazing scheme?
What do you mean? Which part was a contrived retcon and what part of the series fits where? I'm a bit confused.
OK, RE1 - zombie outbreak in Arklay. That's on purpose right? Umbrella destroying its facility and killing its whole staff in testing their zombies against two people? And a day before in ZERO an old Umbrella researcher was resurrected and destroyed ANOTHER facility, but that was accidental? Then in RE2 and RE3 the zombies take over town, again accidentally. All of our beloved heroes survive and have chockfull of proof in their inventories pointing to Umbrella, yet for some reason the company remains operational. Then in VERONICA it turns out Umbrella also operates in Paris... and some shitty prison island... and Antarctica... where there're also zombies... and I dunno, where's Spencer in all of this? He's mentioned now and then but we don't see him and learn his intents until RE5, which came out well over 10 years after RE1 (and it's not really the fifth game either but hey, who's counting?). It's completely out of the blue and explains where the fuck Umbrella gets all their funding (oh, some rich dude) but it makes little sense with the actions and events of the previous games. ZERO, for instance. Zombie sharks, zombie monkeys, zombie dogs, zombie everything. Are zombie sharks particularly more dangerous than regular sharks? Why experiment on fish in the first place? For giggles? There never is any mention of cross species genetics. Oh, and how remarkable that we find a fossilized virus in medieval anachronistic Spain that looks and works just about exactly as the one we accidentally developed in XXth century USA. The incoherence list goes on.
The Arklay outbreak was actually the doing of Marcus (The main antagonist of Zero) as 'revenge' for Umbrella's assassination of him. So he's responsible for both of those outbreaks, and both occurred against the wishes of Umbrella as a whole (Although both happened because of Spencer's actions. Had he not ordered Marcus to be assassinated, then neither outbreak would have occurred).

2 and 3 are an extension of the Arklay outbreak. Throughout all of the early REs, you find newspapers and files saying that something was coming out of the Arklay Mountains and attacking people in the town (Although as there were only a few deaths and no witnesses, the police claimed it was probably a wild animal doing the killings when it was actually Cerberuses). Arklay is very close to Raccoon City geologically. While the outbreak in Raccoon City was technically an accident, it was still orchestrated by Marcus. And...er...the survivors did reveal what Umbrella was doing to the government. That's why Umbrella was eventually shut down. It took a bit after the Raccoon City incident because when the city was nuked, it destroyed all of the hard evidence (Or at least whatever was left after Leon blew up the underground lab).

Spencer's intentions are littered throughout RE 0-5 in the form of files and archives. The reason he had Marcus assassinated was because he was paranoid about Marcus using his research to increase his standing in the company. So he transferred the t-virus/BOW research to Arklay and had Marcus killed, which set off Marcus being revived by the Progenitor-infected Leeches and his subsequent releasing the virus on both his own facility and the Arklay facility.

As for the various BOWs...yeah, they tested it on everything. That's sort of the point of doing research. Marcus created Plague Crawlers from insects, Lurkers from frogs, and Eliminators from monkeys for example. Why wouldn't they test the extent of the t-virus's capabilities?

Spencer only provided the funding needed to get Umbrella started. Once they were established as a company, they funded research and development on the Progenitor virus using their legitimate exploits (Pharmaceuticals, oil, etc).

Also...wat. Las Plagas is nothing like the t-virus. Plaga are an actual parasite that takes over the host body (We have parasites that operate like this in real life). Plaga infectees are still living but can only be killed by damaging the Plaga itself. The T-virus just reanimates/mutates the dead. They're completely different things.
I know it's fun trying to save RE from utter idiocy so here're a couple more quandaries for you: why would anybody try to cover up a zombie outbreak with another, bigger zombie outbreak (RE6)? And still no mention of why Spain seems to be stuck in the Middle Ages. Also: T-Virus... Plagas... Majini... J'avo or whatever they're called... fancy words for zombies. Just shoot them in the head.
 

Worgen

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Whatever, just wash your hands.
Sniper Elite V2. The plot is sooo stupid, first your trying to snipe scientists so they don't defect to the russians then you uncover a plot where the germans and russians are teaming up to launch a v2 filled with poison gas into england. There is so much retardedness in the plot it becomes parody.
 

Atlas13

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irishda said:
kailus13 said:
irishda said:
Dominic Crossman said:
We are overpowered by a billion strong army, what should we do?!
Send John
What? Who?
Him. (Points random dude)
What, just... fine whatever

Every shooter EVER
Yet this forum still loves Half-life so much...
Gordon Freeman wasn't actually sent anywhere in the first Half-Life game. He was just a scientist trying to survive. It's only when he killed the Nihilanth that the G-man decided to use him for anything.
Right sorry. Instead of "Send in this guy", it was "Well, shucks, as a scientist with absolutely no weapons training, I better just mow down all these aliens and special forces soldiers in the name of survival."

/does
Well, I don't think it would take much weapons training to point a gun and pull a trigger. Plus, he pretty much has the suit from Iron-man, making him near-indestructible.
 

retsupurae yahtsee

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Army of Two: The Devil's Cartel: I read a review that essentially said, "half of this game's dialogue is monosyllabic grunts," and that is pretty accurate. Your purpose is to stop some guy who is working with some cartel somehow, which is bad for some reason. All of the characters are horrible stereotypes and archetypes, but I am honestly unsure if that is due to racism and homophobia, or the developers being too fucking retarded to create distinct characters. Its developers followed a Malibu Stacy doll's credo, "thinking gives you wrinkles!" I hope the upcoming sequel to Rise of the Triad will parody this type of stupid Gears of War and Call of Duty clone, just as the original parodied Doom clones. Doom clones were at least distinguishable, whereas these Call of Duty and Gears of War clones look, feel and sound the same.

Both Dragon Age games, though the first one worked in context: I will start with the second one, a plot so terrible and inane that it is a mere thousand times better than M. Night Shyamalan's best movie. Dragon Age 2 is %90 wandering around a dull, featureless city, doing inane tasks for idiots, or as I call it, my daily life. You get no sense of accomplishment, power, relevance, scope or anything else that makes good games involving. Games are escapism: We use them to distract from the horror and tedium of daily life, which is why we enjoy playing the powerful warrior who saves or destroys the world. Nothing you do matters in the game: You buy a mine, it collapses; you collect a treasure, it gets stolen; you stop the Klingons from conquering the city, but the factions who remain are even worse. You just meander around until the endgame, which is a conflict that only affects a few city blocks, is not really affected by the presence of your characters, and makes you choose between two sides who are genocidal lunatics.

Dragon Age: Origins's plot works in context, but everyone who called it a ripoff of Lord of the Rings was right. Boromir did not want to take the throne, but his crazy father died and he realized that his role was more important than his petty concerns; Alistair did not want to take the throne, but his crazy father died and he realized that his role was more important than his petty concerns. Anyone who gets the One Ring is inevitably corrupted, but less so the Hobbits, who are resistant but eventually succumb to temptation; anyone who is infected with the Darkspawn blight dies immediately, except for a few men who are resistant but eventually succumb and die after a few years. Wearing the One Ring puts you in an alternate dimension where you are invisible to humans, but vulnerable to Nazgul; entering the Fade puts your mind in an alternate dimension where your body is asleep on Earth, but your soul is vulnerable to demons in purgatory. Gandalf and the armies of Middle Earth distract the forces of Sauron at Mordor so Sam and Frodo can destroy the ring; the amassed armies of Thedas distract the enemies at Lothering, if I remember the name correctly so the characters can fight the enemy leader. Dwarves and elves are the same as in Lord of the Rings; there is a long, tedious detour through a dwarven mine; the mage tower is invaded and has to be saved, like the Shire; you get the idea.

I love the Zelda games, they are some of my favorites--they are exciting, imaginative, colorful, fun and charming--but the plots and tutorials are incredibly tedious. They have iterated at least six times that Gannon is a God, a fact which does not affect the games in any way. I like games that allow me to learn things by myself, which is why I love The Real Texas despite its horrible flaws, but the 3D Zelda games force me to sit through boring, badly-written five hour long tutorials before I can get to the action. My favorite Zeldas are the first three, which just throw me into a big, open world and let me figure out the rules. Zelda 2, my favorite of the series lets me start the action simply by walking ten feet to the side. I hope the upcoming sequel to Link to the Past will be paced like the old games.
 

debtcollector

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FalloutJack said:
Indeed. Unfortunately, the woman is troperific in a bad way. A Giant Space Flea From Nowhere guilty of Nice Job Fixing It Villain with a severe case of Idiot Ball syndrome and is - just to top it off - a Goddamned Boss in a game that is a big Guide Dang It and The Computer Is A Cheating Bastard.

There's probably lots of bad tropes, but I don't feel like looking them all up.
Yep TV Tropes sure is a fun website. Care to explain what any of those capitalised phrases mean?

OT: Golden Sun: Dark Dawn.

The first two games had a well established mythology and world, and went the extra mile by having you play as the "villain" in the second game so you could see the whole thing from a new perspective.

And then the third game starts you on a fetch quest that DOESN'T END UNTIL ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE FRIGGIN GAME. The villains have clearly been manipulating the piss out of you throughout this whole thing, but nope! Guess we'll keep traipsing through the wilderness to get our stupid bird feather! At which point, you realize that (surprise surmotherfuckinprise) the bad dudes were playing you the whole time, and they make completely unforeshadowed (haha puns) bullshit happen until you fetch quest your way to their base.

At this point, the masked bad guy suddenly reveals that OMG HE WAS FROM THE FIRST TWO GAMES (for the record, anyone who beat the second game could have told you that within a second of his introduction) and that the remaining two baddies were from some secret darkness airship empire and well damn, you gotta kill 'em. You do so, schemes averted, time to go home.

You go home, because now you have your AMAZING BIRD FEATHER time to finally put it to use. Nope, end credits, wait for the sequel.

Also, they introduced magic-absorbing black holes in the first hour and made a big damn deal about them, and then forgot they existed until the very last scene, where I guess we were supposed to care?