Movie Defense Force: Transformers

[Shinclone]

I hate the movie, it's absolutely awful and Michael Bay should be shot. What really annoys me about is the ending which is basically;

Megatron - Give me teh allspark!
14 year old looking numpty Shia Laboooof - Fine, take it.
Megatron - Oh noes, I are dead.

 

[Saulkar]

I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

I actually liked it enough to see it twice in theaters. The first time I tried I could not get in as all the seats were filled up but the other two times I managed to squeak in and the crowds were enormous, hell, I think they are what made the experience so memorable!

 

[spoonybard.hahs]

There was an episode of I Love Lucy entitled "Lucy Writes a Novel." In an effort to become famous like Ricky, she manages to write a full novel and tries to shop it around to various publishers. Much to everyone's surprise, a publisher actually replies back and wants to set up a meeting with her and an author of a new text book about writing fiction. Which is an even greater shock. Lucy is obviously excited, and so is the author. Because he wants to feature her novel in a chapter titled "How NOT to Write."

I grew up in Hollywood and was a film student for a time. Bay is never held aloft as any soft of visionary nor artist. He is the Lucy of film making. He is used by every film instructor (well, the ones I've met) as an example of how NOT to make films. Some of you might wonder then, how is it that he is still a film maker. It's really for two reasons. His films are basically like a porn shoot and he is probably the only director that consistently completes his films under time and under budget.

Oh, and a third reason: because people are fully willing to pay to see a monkey fling shit on to a film reel.

Bay's films are text book examples of terrible film making. And audiences are apparently fine with that. However, being good at being shitty is not a pass or an excuse.

 

[romxxii]

My hatred of Bayformers is definitely not hinged purely on nostalgia, and more because Michael Bay's a shit director. My proof? This picture:

That's my desk. Any fan can tell that the only "G1" figure there is the Voyager-class Springer, which even then is based less on the Sunbow cartoons and more on his incarnation in the IDW comic "Last Stand of the Wreckers." The rest of those figures? All from the currently-running Transformers Prime cartoon, which shares many things with the live action films: it's run by movie writing duo Orci and Kurtzman, it shares a similar sorta-spiky aesthetic, peppered with the same overly dramatic orchestral swells, and it even has not one, but three human sidekicks of varying annoying and adolescence.

So what's different? The only missing thing is Michael Bay, and everything the man stands for. Hence, no excessive ass-kissing of the US military, no pointless babes in bikinis, no focusing the entire story on the humans when it's supposed to be about the giant robots, and no overtly racist caricatures. Hell, the one black dude is a badass government agent, the little Mexican kid is a genius hacker, and the annoying Japanese girl with the Indonesian accent has plot armor. If anything this show is goddamned affirmative action at work.

So yeah, it's possible to love new interpretations of the Transformers franchise, but utterly hate Bay's films.

 

[Something Amyss]

Transformers would be a forgivable movie to me if they hadn't spent so much time on the impotent and ineffective military. I paid to see big stompy robots, and the part of the movie that dealt with big stompy robots was actually pretty good. I don't care about his military fetish, lame political "satire," or a half-assed teen "date movie" stint.

Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2 should have been 90 minutes of lightsaber battles, and this should have been big robots fighting.

But it's not a TERRIBLE movie.

Just...Not a great one.

Oh, Bob isn't going to like this one bit.

Prepare to do battle, Jim.

I'm on Team Jim!

....Not because I like the movie, but because I like Jim.

 

[Amakusa]

I didn't mind the first one, i found it the most enjoyable. The 2nd and 3rd where just plain shite.

 

[SweetWarmIce]

It's cartoon to sell toys, what is there to ruin? I liked all three movies but Revenge was weird. Probably because they had to film off on the very first draft.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

THANK YOU.

I've been waiting for this one for a while.

I enjoyed the hell out of Bayformers 1 when it came out and I enjoy the hell out of Bayformers today.
It's just a damn fun movie, plot and angst be damned.

Also, and I know I'm really not it's just a phrase so relax, am I the only one who had no problem telling the bots apart and understood every action scene fine? I'm not trying to pretend to be smart, I just can't understand that complaint.

Now Bayformers TWO on the other hand...... Oh god.

this movie is absolute shit, as is anything Bay has ever produced.

Sean Connery.
Nic Cage.
Teaming up to fight the good guy from The Abyss.
Who is armed biological missiles.
Also Micheal Biehn is there.

Your argument is invalid.

 

[IronMit]

I thought I was a movie snob and now I find out that some people don't like the first Transformers movie?
Next you're going to tell me the Avengers was boring

 

[Jigero]

Jesus and I thought you reached a pathetic and desperate level when you did Phantom Menace, now I'm starting to think your nothing but an attention whore.

I think the point of MDF is that everyone is too hyperbolic and should just relax.

The point of MDF is to defend legitimately good movies that got buried or have a bad wrap, which there are tons of.

All Jim is doing is just apologizing for legitimately bad movies in the vein attempt to attract attention.

I heavily recommend everyone go watch Best of the Worst over at redlettermedia (the same guys who did the plinkett reviews) They actually find legitimate diamonds in the rough instead of just apologizing for shit movies.

 

[Strazdas]

oh this is not going to end well i fear.


"The original is still acessible"
NO, not really. the amount of times when i talked about pretty much any reboot original and theo ther person did not udnerstand because they claimed that the reboot was theo nly thing he knew therefore that the true one is astounding.

I liked the first movie.... cue the torches and pitch forks

1st one was very crappy but kinda ok for what it was, sex tease and explosions (lets face it thats basically what this whole movie was). the second one was on the level of human centipede of terrible, 3rd one tried to make it a bit better and at least the "Action" was finally fun to watch.

I don't understand why Bob defends 2012 for being stupid fun but not Transformers (1 not 2)

becasue he is BOB. a lot of his videos usually ends up "its not so bad because i liekd it" or "its compeltely awful the man should die" opinions.the "dont like things i dont like" is very strong with BOB.

 

[GundamSentinel]

When I first watched it I went in with my brain switched off and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Angry robots punching eachother never gets old (though that may be personal bias ).

The second time I watched it was on holiday in Germany (so it was a German dub), which was, if possible, even more enjoyable.

The third time I watched is was the first time I payed attention to anything beyond robotic violence and it was utter shit.

Still, I appreciate it for what it is, a dumb, yet often fun, action movie with giant robots.

(Still waiting for and dreading a new live-action Gundam movie. >.>)

 

[Metalrocks]

a movie i enjoy watching. its just a movie to sit back and just see stuff blowing up with some cheesy humor. i dint mind part 2 and 3 either, even when its not as good as part 1 of course. i grew up with the original movies but i still like bayformers.

 

[Buizel91]

*Sigh*
The first film and DOTM are, for me (being a transformer fan), great ROTF is crap, but the action scenes are some of the best. It's just another TF continutiy, not the best mind you, but i would take this over the godly amount of animation errors in G1 any day!

Personally i can't wait for TF4...Hound is confirmed!...MOTHERFUKING HOUND!

Hound is the big army vehicle, Bumblebee is the black camero (more representing his Prime Beast Hunters self) and apparently the other 2 cars are Blurr (The blue Buggati), and Drift, Prime is obvious...

I thought the big army vehicle guy was supposed to be Bulkhead.

It was confirmed to be Hound on bays website

 

[Buizel91]

I can't get angry at the movie for being different than the cartoon, because I am an ACTUAL transformers fan, rather than someone who just wants a 2hr long cartoon.

I grew up with it in the 80s. I watched it as faithfully as anyone.
I watched the movie during its original theatrical run as a ten-year old boy, watching my favorites get destroyed and killed just to divorce the line from its Diaclone roots and sell new toys[/b]. You think Bayformers can kill your childhood? I watched Optimus Prime die AFTER watching Megatron, Starscream, and the Constructicons murder Prowl, Ratchet, Brawn, and Ironhide in terribly horrific [and awesome] fashion.

I watched Beast Wars, and then later, Beast Machines, with the alterations to the continuity simply to tie it all together.

I watched the Japanese-made RID, Armada, Energon, Cybertron... and then the American produced Animated.

I've seen Transformers in multiple configurations, good AND bad. Sometimes REALLY bad. HORRIBLY bad.

I will say this, with absolute authority and conviction.

If you think the Transformers movies are the worst thing in the franchise, then you have absolutely no knowledge of the franchise and your opinion is not informed enough to make this determination.

I mean... KISS Players. Come on.

Marry me? Please?

Glad to see someone else shares my views!

 

[Arppis]

Transformers 1 wasn't a bad movie imo. It was fun and interesting enough to watch.

 

[PunkRex]

I'm with you on this one Jim, this film wasn't really the original Transformers but it was still pretty good, even if most of the human characters were just boring stereotypes who had way to much screen time. Before anyone says 'so were the robots', they downloaded their means of interaction from the internet, things were gonna get silly derp!

Also, it was nice to see Starscream not be a pussy for once, he was a badass in the first film.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I never really though the first transformers was that bad, but that it was the high point in the series (which is never really a good thing when its he first movie and its only really meh at best). BUt then again, I feel the same way about the first twilight (not necessarily bad and if not for the book series it would be alright movie and definitely the high point of its series) so that from that what you will i suppose.