My ex-wife just married my brother

[Pigeon_Grenade]

hmmmm well, theres only so much you can do, but you Summarized it already i think, she is Evil, and your family's stupid. Buy a Voodoo doll made to look like her, ignore them, try and do what you can to make sure your daughter doesent turn into anything like her

 

[Booze Zombie]

Blood and water are both equally important for the human body. Just putting that out there.

You need the water to make the blood, but I didn't mean it like that, smarty pants.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

That truly sucks. But did she show any signs of, "evil" during your three weeks or the four weeks you've know her? Did you try living together before you got married? Did you know enough about her? Did you just jump straight into hell head first with a tin foil hat and hoping it was enough?

Anyways.

That's not really much you can do. Murder isn't an option(or I at least hope it isn't) so, really, all you can do is thrown away the pieces, get some one new, and forget about her. She doesn't sound like a pleasant person.

Now, this is my opinion. It seems like you certainly jumped head first into hell without proper sky diving equipment. I have yet to here of a marriage work between two people who haven't dated for three months.

 

[Godhead]

focus on the people that have never fucked you over and try and get support from them. Even though this isn't 4chan there are still lots of douches here. So i'd have to say give your family some time to think on their own hopefully they will see the light and learn that their own son is more important then a grandchild, i mean you can make another one. But if this doesnt work out move to a different state and start a new life. Sorry i cant be more helpful hopefully this will help.

 

[Uncompetative]

Spoiler: Click to reveal...blah

Any input would be helpful, I just don't even know how to process this.

Under the circumstances it would be quite reasonable for you to disown your entire family. You should also consider becoming an Atheist.

Seeing your first child seems to be impossible. Trying to do so will put you in a toxic situation that will damage your heath with anxiety and possibly lead to violent conflict. Even if you do nothing to initiate this there won't be any unbiased witnesses and you will get misrepresented.

It seems as if you now have a second child, I hope by someone who you have a good relationship. She must have parents that you can have a healthy relationship with. With any luck they live some distance away, perhaps out of state. If that is the case move closer and spend more time with them as a result. Don't see your first child at all. Yeah, I know... that is really tough advice, but a clean break will be better for you both.

Don't forget about your first child though. Pay ample child support and send gifts on their birthday (NOTE: they may not get them...). There is an outside chance that your first child will rebel against its mother when it becomes a teenager and want to know about its father and come to see you. Even if the mother prohibits this, there will be no stopping it when it becomes a financially independent adult. It may secretly visit you when it is thought to be at University. I know that this is a long time for you to have to wait, but if you can understand that they may feel like blaming you for your absence (having been told a bunch of lies their entire life) and don't get indignant with them for their behaviour and just spend time together as a family with their half-sibling and not spend the entire visit stuck in the house, you may be pleasantly surprised at the positive change in their opinion of you. With any luck you will have your second child saying that you are a nice person.

However, avoid any "my first wife was evil" stuff around your new family as much as you can. As your second child won't know for sure if your version of events is the truth and your first child may well suspect that you have "brainwashed" your second child to say bad things about their 'evil' mother. Just neutralise the toxicity. Seek therapy if necessary.

Honestly, if I knew of a way to get you all back together without this woman I would suggest it.

I agree with this guy, except for the part about 'becoming an athiest', which won't solve your problem at all(nor I doubt it would help you or make you happier)..unless you ACTUALLY think that God hates you, which is pretty stupid >.>

Like another guy said, everything happens for a reason.

I hope I didn't come across as flippant when I suggested becoming an atheist. I became one and I was a lot happier, so I thought I would share... I don't celebrate Christmas. No Xmas presents for me. I don't like the whole getting together and forcing yourself to have fun. The food is terrible too. I eat better than that every day of the year.

Anyway, I just thought I would suggest it (not as some reaction to how God has blighted his life... that would be silly), but to just let the whole tiresome cultural baggage of Christianity go and let him off the hook from having to attend those awkward family gatherings. Not being an American I'm not sure what Thanksgiving is all about (really, I don't know... I should, but I don't), but I've seen movies where a family flies from far flung states to their parents home only to quarrel and bicker. Given his special circumstances I can see this being worse. Best avoided.

 

[skywalkerlion]

Spoiler: Click to reveal...blah

Any input would be helpful, I just don't even know how to process this.

Under the circumstances it would be quite reasonable for you to disown your entire family. You should also consider becoming an Atheist.

Seeing your first child seems to be impossible. Trying to do so will put you in a toxic situation that will damage your heath with anxiety and possibly lead to violent conflict. Even if you do nothing to initiate this there won't be any unbiased witnesses and you will get misrepresented.

It seems as if you now have a second child, I hope by someone who you have a good relationship. She must have parents that you can have a healthy relationship with. With any luck they live some distance away, perhaps out of state. If that is the case move closer and spend more time with them as a result. Don't see your first child at all. Yeah, I know... that is really tough advice, but a clean break will be better for you both.

Don't forget about your first child though. Pay ample child support and send gifts on their birthday (NOTE: they may not get them...). There is an outside chance that your first child will rebel against its mother when it becomes a teenager and want to know about its father and come to see you. Even if the mother prohibits this, there will be no stopping it when it becomes a financially independent adult. It may secretly visit you when it is thought to be at University. I know that this is a long time for you to have to wait, but if you can understand that they may feel like blaming you for your absence (having been told a bunch of lies their entire life) and don't get indignant with them for their behaviour and just spend time together as a family with their half-sibling and not spend the entire visit stuck in the house, you may be pleasantly surprised at the positive change in their opinion of you. With any luck you will have your second child saying that you are a nice person.

However, avoid any "my first wife was evil" stuff around your new family as much as you can. As your second child won't know for sure if your version of events is the truth and your first child may well suspect that you have "brainwashed" your second child to say bad things about their 'evil' mother. Just neutralise the toxicity. Seek therapy if necessary.

Honestly, if I knew of a way to get you all back together without this woman I would suggest it.

I agree with this guy, except for the part about 'becoming an athiest', which won't solve your problem at all(nor I doubt it would help you or make you happier)..unless you ACTUALLY think that God hates you, which is pretty stupid >.>

Like another guy said, everything happens for a reason.

I hope I didn't come across as flippant when I suggested becoming an atheist. I became one and I was a lot happier, so I thought I would share... I don't celebrate Christmas. No Xmas presents for me. I don't like the whole getting together and forcing yourself to have fun. The food is terrible too. I eat better than that every day of the year.

Anyway, I just thought I would suggest it (not as some reaction to how God has blighted his life... that would be silly), but to just let the whole tiresome cultural baggage of Christianity go and let him off the hook from having to attend those awkward family gatherings. Not being an American I'm not sure what Thanksgiving is all about (really, I don't know... I should, but I don't), but I've seen movies where a family flies from far flung states to their parents home only to quarrel and bicker. Given his special circumstances I can see this being worse. Best avoided.

Ahh, I get it now. I thought you were just suggesting it cause he got super duper unlucky (unfairly unlucky, indeed), which is kinda irrational and jumpy. But I get what your saying now

ALSO, Thanksgiving is basically when the family gets together and eats tons of food that really tastes disgusting, but everyone acts like 'OH SHIT, GREAT FOOD, MAH GAWD!'..And the day after that, everyone goes to blow all their money and sleepy-tiemz out and about on what's called 'Black Friday', where people get up at 3 in the morning to stand in line waiting for a Ballroom Blitz to happen, getting crazy unrealistic deals like 75%-off cameras and stuff. People also throw out manners through the window during this event, and people end up fighting (fist fighting) (and no one does jack squat about it) for these limited-stock items.


There ya go.

 

[manbearpig91]

what a *****. i assume you've tried everything, and i hope it all works out for you.

 

[martin's a madman]

Hello all.

I am fairly new here, but I have seen from the forums that there is an element of a support group here and I thought I would share my life's latest and most brutal drama to try to get some perspective on how I should be feeling. To give the abbreviated version, I got married in 2003 to a truly evil woman after only dating for three weeks. Nine months and two days after we were married my daughter was born. Four months after her birth we split up (I will go into the specifics of this later) and due to some horrifically unscrupulous tactics used by my ex-wife she got full custody with me only getting three hours of supervised visitation a month.

EDIT : I should state that although we had only dated for three weeks, I had known her for four years.

I can assure you that this level of estrangement from one's first child (and until four weeks ago my only child) is cruel beyond description. Over the next period of four years I fought fruitlessly to get more time with my daughter, specifically time without her mother (the incarnation of all that is evil) present and breathing down my throat. I had no loyalty from my father and stepmother as my ex used my daughter as a blackmailing chip. Essentially, if they stood up for me then she would take their granddaughter away, so they caved to her every wish. After a year and a half I moved two hours away to start a new life and my "parents" let her move in with them despite all she had done to me. Eventually, I guess, she seduced my brother (who was only 17 when she and I first got married) and just got married to him this past October 18th.

I have been seething with the rage of betrayal at first from her and later from my family for years now, but now it appears that I am going to have to see this malevolent termagant at family events for THE REST OF MY LIFE (assuming their marriage lasts). I will either be driven from my own family, or have to see her at Thanksgivings and Christmases, etc. thanks to my "brother." Is it just me, or is not blood supposed to be thicker than water?

Any input would be helpful, I just don't even know how to process this.

Is it too late to abandon the child or have you grown attached? Just (Sort of) kidding!
Anyway, leave your family to decompose in a ditch and have a life better than theirs. They will see how they messed up.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

That sucks. If it weren't for the fact that you can't see your daughter, I'd write off the whole lot of them. You don't NEED family like that.

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

That story is soooo fucked uppp.. I feel pity for you. that really sucks, your brother better be serious and get her nice to ya or your just s.o.l. there.

 

[SultanP]

If I was in your place I would cease considering them my family and use the opportunity to start fresh somewhere completely else. These people don't deserve you, and you don't deserve to be treated that way. The child does complicate things a bit, but I still think I stand by what I first said.

 

[Enzeru92]

Man that just sucks....
Well i don't think you should move because frankly the ***** has your daughter and you have a right to see her and i know there isn't much you can do since your going to see her at family gathering. I would suggest keep your distance from everyone since they're not even trying to help or comfort you and just try to see your daughter.

 

[Hooded-hyena]

Wow guy, that sounds pretty bad. I'm sorry she treated you like that. Seeing as I myself am a caculating, steel-hearted *****, I say to tell your brother what she did, or take her to court to demand more custody. Can you even do that?

Either that or cuntpunch that ho.

 

[jboking]

snip

I am extremely sorry to hear what has happened to you. While we are not a substitute for the advice of good friends or a therapist, and while we are definitely not a good relationship support group, I still feel we can try and do our best.

Here is my advice to you, keep living. From the sounds of it, you have another kid. Love your child, if you have a new wife, love her too. Get yourself some reliable friends for support. Fight to see your first child more often. Most importantly, be ready for the day when this cold witch rips your brothers heart out and stomps all over it. By 'be ready' I don't mean be ready with an "I told you so," there many ways to win a person over, that most certainly isn't one of them. Be prepared to work with him to get his children back if you love him, try to get your kid back from her when this new situation arises(prove she isn't a fit parent), and throw this ***** as far away from you and your family as you can. It's tough, and it could be years before you need to act, but you need to keep living. Oh, if your invited to a family get together and she will be there, go anyway. the last thing you want to do is make yourself seem like the bad guy.

Like I said in the beginning: we here at the escapist(myself included) are no substitute for real relationship advice and the things we suggest could sound harsh and cold, but it is the best thing we can think to tell you.

Oh, and while the circumstances may be a bit dark, welcome to the Escapist.

 

[Uncompetative]

...
ALSO, Thanksgiving is basically when the family gets together and eats tons of food that really tastes disgusting, but everyone acts like 'OH SHIT, GREAT FOOD, MAH GAWD!'..And the day after that, everyone goes to blow all their money and sleepy-tiemz out and about on what's called 'Black Friday', where people get up at 3 in the morning to stand in line waiting for a Ballroom Blitz to happen, getting crazy unrealistic deals like 75%-off cameras and stuff. People also throw out manners through the window during this event, and people end up fighting (fist fighting) (and no one does jack squat about it) for these limited-stock items.

There ya go.

Thanks for making the effort telling me all that, but I am really none the wiser.

QUESTION: Why do Americans celebrate Thanksgiving? What is behind it?

i.e. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ with a religious 'mass'.

 

[Nouw]

Dude. That sucks.

My words exactly.

Why so Ninja?

OT: Man, that must feel bad.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Damn man

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

...
ALSO, Thanksgiving is basically when the family gets together and eats tons of food that really tastes disgusting, but everyone acts like 'OH SHIT, GREAT FOOD, MAH GAWD!'..And the day after that, everyone goes to blow all their money and sleepy-tiemz out and about on what's called 'Black Friday', where people get up at 3 in the morning to stand in line waiting for a Ballroom Blitz to happen, getting crazy unrealistic deals like 75%-off cameras and stuff. People also throw out manners through the window during this event, and people end up fighting (fist fighting) (and no one does jack squat about it) for these limited-stock items.

There ya go.

Thanks for making the effort telling me all that, but I am really none the wiser.

QUESTION: Why do Americans celebrate Thanksgiving? What is behind it?

i.e. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ with a religious 'mass'.

ANSWER: Americans(aswell as Canadians) celebrate thanksgiving to commemorate the early days of the settlers. Back in the day, North America was a very harsh climate(compared to Europe) and many settlers didn't make it the first few trys. Essentialy, if the harvest was shit there was a good chance that you would die before spring. Therefor, they created a feast at the end of the harvest season to "give thanks" that their harvest had been bountiful. This is why it was called "Thanksgiving".

Note: This is also why Americans have it in November while Canadians celebrate in October. As you move farther north(and thus into Canada) the harvest season ends sooner, so they would have had their feast sooner.

 

[Jenkins]

umm, honestly, time for a hitman.

 

[Simon Hadow]

Well, that really does bite. I mean, I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time, and some very close freinds have had to go through some major crap, but this definetely takes number 1 most "got fucked over" situation in my book. But you're right about this place being a support group man, we're all here for you man.