My friend says the "Good guys come last" theory is BS

[RaikuFA]

i dont believe this. im a nice guy and my last relationship was having her controlling me

although my looks might have something to do with me being hard to date

You know what I find to be bullshit about relationships?

Guys need to get a girlfriend. OR, in different terms - it's a girl's decision to accept a boyfriend.

It's so unbelievably one-sided that feminazis can permanently STFU about being "put down".

i agree with this sooooooo much they can turn down anyone and no consequences yet a guy does it and hes the worst guy in the universe

 

[Marble Dragon]

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

You're confusing 'pussy/pansy' with good guy, and 'stands up for himself' with bad boy.

Thank you so much. I prefer my male companions to have more balls than me, thanks. If you aren't self confident and strong in who you are, you don't come off as a poor little nice guy. You come off as a pansy without the social skills for a devoted relationship.

And hey, if a girl really does prefer 'bad boys' who are really total dicks, why the hell would you want her? She's either a high schooler or an idiot, possibly both.

I wouldn't say they are idiots to want a 'bad boy'. Unless they treat them poorly. But, to each their own, eh?

'Bad boys who are really total dicks' kind of implies the poor treatment, though.

Honestly, I wish more people realized how desired traits vary. Everyone wants something different in people of their preferred sex. I've met girls and boys alike who don't seem to understand that. From the "I love him, so everyone else must love him, superprotect ACTIVATE!" to the "I guess I'm just not the kind of guy the girls are after. Le sigh." It's annoying. I mean, there are desired traits that are pretty much universal - sex appeal, obviously, and for the most part kindness. But hey, maybe it's easier just to think everyone's like you. So many people subscribe to that...

 

[newfoundsky]

It's really not that hard to find a girl, at least not for me. I mean, I'm a great guy. My problem is there are so few girls around me worth having. And when I do find one we get on great but when things fall apart. . .

Here's an example. I fear that my most recent ex will talk about me the way she talked to me about her ex's. It keeps me up at night. All I want is for her to have been happy with me, and everything else comes after. She was and is worth loving, and I'm pretty sure I always will love her. I have all her stuff in a box in my closet, for crying out loud. And I miss her every moment of every day.

I'm a great guy, it's just hard for me to find what I'm looking for in a girl, and if I try to just settle I feel wrong being with that person.

So I guess in my situation I'm always just out of reach of first place. But being a nice guy doesn't count me out of the race by a long shot.

 

[Kortney]

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

You're confusing 'pussy/pansy' with good guy, and 'stands up for himself' with bad boy.

That's it. I know lots of "nice guys" who are boring, unengaging, placid and a touch creepy. If bad boy means someone who is fun to be around, takes initiative, actually makes an effort and is confident then no wonder I prefer "bad boys". Anyone who identifies themselves as a "nice guy" I want nothing to do with in any romantic sense. Like being "good" is any achievement? Especially when they use "good" as a synonym for "boring and scared".

 

[SwimmingRock]

You know what I find to be bullshit about relationships?

Guys need to get a girlfriend. OR, in different terms - it's a girl's decision to accept a boyfriend.

It's so unbelievably one-sided that feminazis can permanently STFU about being "put down".

Supply and demand, man. Plain and simple. Most women can get laid whenever they want. Most men can't unless they're willing to pay for it. It makes perfect sense that this is how it works. What exactly would be your alternative suggestion?

OT: I am so sick of this discussion. I don't know, okay? I don't get women. That's why I gave up.

 

[EmperorSubcutaneous]

Girls don't dislike "nice guys". The problem is that most guys who say they're "nice" are actually manipulative and trying to play an angle just like the bad boys, except they don't have enough balls to come out and say it. The reason why girls get with bad guys (and don't stay with them) is because they are sure of themselves enough to do their own thing, and the girl likes the feeling that she's not taking care of the guy.

Myself, I always put myself in the selfless category - I was always there with a kind word, doing anything for the person I was with, always a shoulder to cry on, etc. - and the problem is not that this isn't a good thing (and to be honest, I'd say most girls want this in the person they're with). The issue is that guys take it too far overboard and stop seeing that a relationship is a two-way street. Now that I've had good relationships, I've realized that girls and guys really want equality - they want to be there to help us just as much as they want us to be there for them. Having the confidence to set boundaries and voice your needs? That's what's really attractive to a woman.

What women really want? They want a confident man with his own goals and ambitions that he is working towards, self-respect and self-discipline to push every day to attain these goals, a supportive nature that helps foster growth for both people, consideration, romance and affection. A big penis wouldn't hurt either.

Am I close to the mark, ladies?

Close. Big penises are overrated.

Seriously, guys are the only ones who care about penis size. For girls, as long as you're not minuscule and you know what you're doing (or are attempting to learn, if it's withing the context of a relationship), that's all that matters.

 

[RaikuFA]

i dont believe this. im a nice guy and my last relationship was having her controlling me

this is more often the case (due to inexperience (no offence) in the situation and huge amounts of respect for the other individual despite them not earning it).

I have been in similar situations. You just have to learn to treat them as your best buddies, being able to tell bad jokes and enjoy the (sometimes weird) things you love with them.

to 90% of this thread. SACK UP . Put yourself out there, sure you may get rejected 49/50 times (i depressingly got close to this at somepoint) but eventually you will click with people and thats that.

Good luck peoples

none taken. but it seriously got bad. she would threaten to leave me if i dont get her this or that. or because shed get mad at me for not inviting her to eat at mexican restraunts when my parents took me, then when i did shed get mad due to her nott likeing mexican

im starting to think no relationships are worth it.

i made myself sad

 

[Simriel]

I have probably met 200-ish women since I hit the age of 16 and I have asked out 9 girls all to be rejected, friend zoned and manipulated all the time. I am the nicest guy in my group and I treat women like the goddesses they are, and you know what I am finishing so far last I haven't even left the starting gate (and the furthest I have ever gotten was kissing a girl who was so drunk she could only just about walk). I could show them so much and give them all the love in the world, but no, I have no confidence and refuse to make a move because of so many rejections I fear they will end the same way and hurt me. They destroy me at every attempt and make me feel like death every time I see them, but hey! I will keep trying until it kills me.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VSrnkiWaqSQ/TMdBQsCZScI/AAAAAAAAAZI/r7M0LAXkxW0/s1600/forever+alone+face.png

9 girls? I can get rejected by nine girls, IN A WEEK! Do I stop? HELL NO! And thats why I have dated, and had sex with attractive women. Sheer bloody minded, bull headed perseverance and a bit of self confidence. Am I hot? HELL NAW! I am a hairy overweight bastard and ya know what? I love it! And somehow, I get called sexy! Why? Who cares! In the words of a great man 'Never give up, never surrender' (and I don't mean fixate on one girl, just cut your losses if its not gonna happen and talk to soneone new)

 

[liljabba]

this is all implying girls even know what they want and that putting up resistance and being overwhelmed isn't part of the female sexual experience. girls don't want a kiss-ass, but they don't want a hard ass either. 'nuff said

 

[Corkydog]

Confidence, gents. All's it takes is a little confidence. It's a bit like Tinkerbell. You just have to believe...(in yourself)

 

[Simriel]

I know girls who prefer 'bad boys.' And you know what they are? They're high schoolers! They're teenage girls who just want a fun time! They don't want a boy to marry, to have kids with, to spend all their life with. They want a cute boy hanging on their arm, kissing them and making them look hotter because the bad boys are into them. They aren't respectable women.

I also know girls, teenage and otherwise, who would love to date a guy that didn't treat them like shit, that truly loved them.

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

Nice job. You just made a huge and offensive generalization on about half the human race, give or take. And in the vast majority of women, it's not true. Like I said, just because a couple of slutty fifteen year old girls prefer 'bad boys' doesn't mean all women do. And what would women have to lie about? You think I ever hear "Oh, it makes us look bad!" from my girlfriends? No! I'm perfectly open about the kind of guy I'm into, because I have no reason not to be and I don't particularly care what guys think.

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

You're confusing 'pussy/pansy' with good guy, and 'stands up for himself' with bad boy.

Thank you so much. I prefer my male companions to have more balls than me, thanks. If you aren't self confident and strong in who you are, you don't come off as a poor little nice guy. You come off as a pansy without the social skills for a devoted relationship.

And hey, if a girl really does prefer 'bad boys' who are really total dicks, why the hell would you want her? She's either a high schooler or an idiot, possibly both.

Finally! Sense, reason and a well thought out argument. Also, just a point, wondering if you will back me up. In a relationship, if one party is 'looking after' the other, it tends to fall apart. Doesn't matter which gender the one being looked after is. In a proper relationship you should be looking after each other as needed, not just an one sided thing.

 

[Light 086]

Girls don't like the idea of them preferring a bad boy over a good guy because it makes them look bad, so they deny it even though it is 100% true.

I don't like the 'bad boy'. Sure I prefer a guy being adventurous, but I don't like it when he steals, vandalizes, or acts like an asshole to other because I'll think he's an asshole as well.
So no it's not 100% true.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

You know how many times i got rejected or catastrophicly failed at flirting? no? me neither? because i dont count and dont care. If there is someone that seems interesting, give it a shot, the worst thing that can happen is ...nothing and then you are free for the next try.
Get out there, not to hit on girls, but to have fun, and while having fun, you might find the opportunity to get to know a girl, then just give it a shot.
If you get so obsessed by it, planning, researching, whatevering, it wont happen, wont work.
Live the moment, act naturally and everything will work out fine, so that you may have failed x times, but also will win y uncountable times.
Dont think too much, just dare to act, take the steps, take a "risk", still there is nothing to lose.
And if you made first contact and it stops being fun and starts to feel pressed, then its just not working out, talk a little and get over it. The hunt is on again.

there are no pure good guys or plain dicks out there. Well, i myself can honestly and proudly state that i am neither good nor a mere dick. A lot of niceguys have serious issues, a lot of dicks can be really great friends and even loving partners.
I myself can be a real jerk to people i dont like, but that doesnt mean i am not a nice guy. I just act as i feel at the given moment.

 

[RaikuFA]

i dont believe this. im a nice guy and my last relationship was having her controlling me

this is more often the case (due to inexperience (no offence) in the situation and huge amounts of respect for the other individual despite them not earning it).

I have been in similar situations. You just have to learn to treat them as your best buddies, being able to tell bad jokes and enjoy the (sometimes weird) things you love with them.

to 90% of this thread. SACK UP . Put yourself out there, sure you may get rejected 49/50 times (i depressingly got close to this at somepoint) but eventually you will click with people and thats that.

Good luck peoples

none taken. but it seriously got bad. she would threaten to leave me if i dont get her this or that. or because shed get mad at me for not inviting her to eat at mexican restraunts when my parents took me, then when i did shed get mad due to her nott likeing mexican

im starting to think no relationships are worth it.

i made myself sad

oh then she's just an asshole (see women can be them too.) Its exactly the same as the vetting process for good friends, your likely to meet some assholes along the way, but you just weed them out and move on, part of life i guess.
Best of luck

it was both actually. im very inexperienced. that was my first real relationship and truthfully it scared me

 

[VanityGirl]

20,000 threads have been done over this topic.

You may be a good guy, but if you can't talk to a girl, then what's the point? Be a nice guy and have some confidence and you'll always finish first.


Saying that nice guys finish last is like saying "all guys date bitches"

 

[qazmatoz]

A lot of "good guys" are woefully inexperienced with social interactions, especially with women. Mix this with a lot of them having a set of ideas and "rules" that they believe is the "proper" way to treat women (being overly chivalrous, wanting to do everything for their partner, basically beleiving that women like to be treated as objects of affection rather than human beings) and add a dose of lacking self criticism, and you get a bunch of guys who try way too hard to be nice, without realising that what women want are partners who make them laugh, share their interests and who can be their friend as well as partners, not white knights who cater to their every whim and confine them to a life of sitting and looking pretty. In a way, a lot of these guys are very sexist without realising it, because they regard women as "women", not as "people".

Basically, these guys are trying way too hard. Sadly, they have such low standards, and are so inexperienced with love, that they see romance as a step towards sex, and never realize that a romantic relationship is built 90% around being friends. Genuine friends. That's why it's always better to be yourself and play with an open hand. If a girl likes what she sees, there's a good chance she'll want to be with you. And if you lack anything decent or socialable about you.. change.

You've just won the thread in my opinion.