My gf's dad hates me.

[MasterOfWorlds]

You should prove yourself to her dad in a suitable anime-esque way.

No, really. Try to show her dad that you're an okay guy. Maybe go out fishing with him or something.

Of course, I have no experience with this, so I might just be talking out my ass. I'm just trying to imagine myself as the dad, and your gf as my little sister.

I was planning on getting together with him sometime and having a man to man talk to see if we can sort things out. My gf seems to think it's a good idea, but I'm just trying to figure out where, when, and if he'd actually do it without causing a scene. XD

 

[Jonluw]

You should prove yourself to her dad in a suitable anime-esque way.

No, really. Try to show her dad that you're an okay guy. Maybe go out fishing with him or something.

Of course, I have no experience with this, so I might just be talking out my ass. I'm just trying to imagine myself as the dad, and your gf as my little sister.

I was planning on getting together with him sometime and having a man to man talk to see if we can sort things out. My gf seems to think it's a good idea, but I'm just trying to figure out where, when, and if he'd actually do it without causing a scene. XD

That's probably a good idea. I have no idea how to do it though.

 

[TeeBs]

thats a really good sign

Really? My girlfriend's dad is a pretty cool guy and things are going well.

I hope your girlfriend doesn't find out.

 

[Nouw]

He's being protective and feels the need to strike fear in you. Of course none of us have an exact answer to 'counter' him. Try and be as non-sexual towards your Girlfriend when you're both around the Dad.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I'm sure that this isn't exactly rare. Her mom likes me and we get along great, but her dad really has it out for me. I mean he's threatened to call the cops, and hunt me down and all sorts of stuff like that. Luckily he hasn't gotten violent because I'd really hate to have to beat down my gf's dad. XD

Anyway, her parents are separate, and it's not like I have to see them all the time, but it's just annoying that it seems like I have to jump through hoops just to date her because she's amazing and I really like her. The only problem we have is her dad.

Any ideas/suggestions for dealing with a hostile parent? I've heard of parents hating gfs too, so I guess this could apply there as well. Normally I get along well with my friends/gfs parents, he's the only one that seems to have a problem with me.

Sleep with his wife.

The thought had occured to me. After all, the best way to get in with the duaghter is to get in with the parents. Sleep with them, and you're in.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Let's be fair here: Do you really expect a last-generation father to be all that fond of what he probably sees as a lazy oaf, particularly with the gaming habits that I expect you have? You're Generation Y, and being from the same generation, I'm in a good position to tell you that our entire generation sucks, that we're abominable human beings with few redeeming characteristics.

I don't play games all that much. On weekends and Friday nights mostly, when I'm not hanging out with friends or studying. I'm working on my BA, and I do yard/housework on the side for spare cash. Unlike most of our generation, I grew up with manners, work ethic, and ambition.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Well is there a reason he hates you?

Why does he hate you?

Even an overprotective dad needs a reason to hate you...so what is it? If you aren't honest, no one can help you manage the relationship.

The main thing I can think of is that I'm a little older than her. Only a year and some change. I haven't slept with her yet, so he's never walked in on us. She doesn't really get along too well with him. I've spoken to him and he treats me like I'm some creep that preys on little girls.

What are your ages? That spread matters more at 14 than 30.

I kindly remind him that the age difference between him and her mom is seven years, but I think that only makes it worse. XD

Yes, that was just plain stupid of you. For one thing you don't know if he WAS taking advantage of her mom. You also don't know if the age was part of what split them up. Plus you are in effect saying "oh ya, well you did it too!" which is in an effect an attack. Finally if that wasn't his problem with you, you just created a new problem and attacked his marriage for no reason. Overall, not a bright strategy.

Actually, her mom and her dad never got married, and she was seven years older than him. XD

Although admittedly, it was a bad move. It was one of the few times I actually let my control over myself slip around him, but I've been keeping a tighter lid on things snce then, and apologized for it since it was uncalled for.

 

[Duskwaith]

He probably sees you as he was himself at your age. Out to hump the sweet little daughter he has cherished for so many years.

Hell id be pissed if you where going to put your schlong in my daughter. You dont go out with her just because you like movies/dinner/coffee

 

[Sebenko]

Let's be fair here: Do you really expect a last-generation father to be all that fond of what he probably sees as a lazy oaf, particularly with the gaming habits that I expect you have? You're Generation Y, and being from the same generation, I'm in a good position to tell you that our entire generation sucks, that we're abominable human beings with few redeeming characteristics.

I think that applies to most of the human race.

 

[Vlassic]

I dated my last bf for a year and his mother intensely hated me for most of that time. She was fine with me until he found the need to tell her that we were intimate, and then Catholic shit hit the fan for the rest of our relationship. She even went to my school and had him removed from any classes we shared.

It was really hard to deal with and I wish I had better advice, but you've got to ignore it for the most part. I mean, do your best to make a good impression, don't act like a punk in front of the parents, but you can't force them to like you if they've made up their minds not to. Just don't take it personally and avoid confrontation with them.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

He probably sees you as he was himself at your age. Out to hump the sweet little daughter he has cherished for so many years.

Hell id be pissed if you where going to put your schlong in my daughter. You dont go out with her just because you like movies/dinner/coffee

I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry because that's so true. XD

Honestly, we haven't slept together. That's not the reason I'm going out with her. It's something we probably will do in the future when she's ready, but I think that's a little down the line. Until then, it's only movies/dinner/coffee. XD

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I dated my last bf for a year and his mother intensely hated me for most of that time. She was fine with me until he found the need to tell her that we were intimate, and then Catholic shit hit the fan for the rest of our relationship. She even went to my school and had him removed from any classes we shared.

It was really hard to deal with and I wish I had better advice, but you've got to ignore it for the most part. I mean, do your best to make a good impression, don't act like a punk in front of the parents, but you can't force them to like you if they've made up their minds not to. Just don't take it personally and avoid confrontation with them.

Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry that happened. No, we go to different schools, so there's no chance of that happening. I'm not really for acting like a punk. I'm one of those guys that believes that sticking out generally ends badly, so the only way I stand apart from most people is my grades and my physical build, mostly because you don't generally see linebacker sized guys strolling around that aren't on the football team. XD

I'm generally soft spoken, polite, if a touch sarcastic, and I like talking about just about anything, and I'm not afraid to tell people what's on my mind unless it's just inapropriate, and sometimes even then (depending on who I'm with) it might slip out. XD

 

[Vlassic]

I dated my last bf for a year and his mother intensely hated me for most of that time. She was fine with me until he found the need to tell her that we were intimate, and then Catholic shit hit the fan for the rest of our relationship. She even went to my school and had him removed from any classes we shared.

It was really hard to deal with and I wish I had better advice, but you've got to ignore it for the most part. I mean, do your best to make a good impression, don't act like a punk in front of the parents, but you can't force them to like you if they've made up their minds not to. Just don't take it personally and avoid confrontation with them.

Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry that happened. No, we go to different schools, so there's no chance of that happening. I'm not really for acting like a punk. I'm one of those guys that believes that sticking out generally ends badly, so the only way I stand apart from most people is my grades and my physical build, mostly because you don't generally see linebacker sized guys strolling around that aren't on the football team. XD

I'm generally soft spoken, polite, if a touch sarcastic, and I like talking about just about anything, and I'm not afraid to tell people what's on my mind unless it's just inapropriate, and sometimes even then (depending on who I'm with) it might slip out. XD

Well, it sounds like you're the kind of guy a parent would like their daughter to date if they were being reasonable. You're not doing anything wrong or offensive, her dad has just decided not to like you. That's his problem, and even though it may be hard, try not to let it become yours and your girlfriend's problem. I understand you wanting him to like you, because it's confusing when people arbitrarily decide they don't like you, but just concentrate on being happy with your girlfriend. If her dad is a decent person, he'll see you're a good guy and eventually come around.

 

[astrav1]

He probably sees you as he was himself at your age. Out to hump the sweet little daughter he has cherished for so many years.

Hell id be pissed if you where going to put your schlong in my daughter. You dont go out with her just because you like movies/dinner/coffee

I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry because that's so true. XD

Honestly, we haven't slept together. That's not the reason I'm going out with her. It's something we probably will do in the future when she's ready, but I think that's a little down the line. Until then, it's only movies/dinner/coffee. XD

You sir seem like a great human being. If you truly haven't done anything wrong then sometimes you just have to keep fighting. Not aggressively, but I mean hold on to her. How old are you and how old is she? I know you said a year older but you never know what might set a person off.

 

[Veleste]

Quite frankly he hates you because he's afraid you're going to do the 'when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much' thing with his daughter who he isn't ready to see as a woman yet. It's really that simple, reach out to him and explain your intentions. If he sees your a decent dude he'll chill.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

There is absolutely nothing you can do unless you have actually done something other than that just join the club.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

So? When I was at school, my female friends dads didn't like me, let alone girlfriends. I told them I was gay. Worked perfectly. I went from not being allowed in the house to "oh you're in my daughters bedroom? Ok, fair enough probably talking about clothes."

How would that would work with a girlfriend?

Anyway, just deal with it, if you really like her, you can get past a relative.
Alternatively just kill him in his sleep.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

So? When I was at school, my female friends dads didn't like me, let alone girlfriends. I told them I was gay. Worked perfectly. I went from not being allowed in the house to "oh you're in my daughters bedroom? Ok, fair enough probably talking about clothes."

How would that would work with a girlfriend?

Anyway, just deal with it, if you really like her, you can get past a relative.
Alternatively just kill him in his sleep.

She said that I'm not allowed to kill him. I may or may not have joked about it once or twice. XD I'm also not allowed to wish sickness or death him. She ruins all the fun. >.>