My Parents Threw Me Out; I Need to Pay for College

[dj Facchiano]

Lie. Simple as that, if they're physically and mentally beating you down then I don't think a little manipulation on your part will cause a massive loss in karma .

 

[thevillageidiot13]

Call the police about that beating as a kid and now? From your description your father sounds like he should be in jail or at least at some kind of rehab.

However all I could think of is that you apologies and put up with them until you got your PhD.

The problem is that most of the beatings happened a while ago, and I'm not sure anybody I know would really vouch for me in a court of law.

 

[Instinct Blues]

Yeah fake the apology and get the money for school. Also maybe think about putting in a call to the police because clearly your dad is being controlling, manipulative, and violent. Seems to me like it would be a relatively easy case of domestic abuse.

 

[Soviet Steve]

Realpolitik my friend. Say your words, get their cash, use it to gain the ability to support yourself, and then never talk to them again. Simple. No-one cares, no-one is going to remember but them, and what are they going to be worth to you at the end of college? And what is it going to be worth to a banker in the future that you stood up to your parents on this matter?

 

[ShindoL Shill]

fake the apology, i do that every time i get in a massive fight with my mum. in the long run, it makes everything easier.

 

[thevillageidiot13]

In this case it really doesn't matter who's right. Just apologize, take it like a ***** for your future's sake. I'm suprised he's actually still willing to pay for your college. Do that until you find a way to support yourself either in or after college, then just never contact your parents again.

Teenagers never know how great they have it. They talk back, get a beat down, then think their parents are bad.

Way to go, he alread said he's been abused for years.

At least I didn't tell him to 'take it like a *****'. Actually, after reading your post, did you really say something different from what I did?

When I was eight, I got beat when I tried to help my dad wash his car, and I accidentally got him wet with the hose. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't downplay my childhood by telling me that I was a spoiled teenager.

 

[Cowabungaa]

At least I didn't tell him to 'take it like a *****'. Actually, after reading your post, did you really say something different from what I did?

Yeah, I didn't talk his problems down like you did, didn't basically call him a spoiled teenager. And taking it like a ***** isn't that much of a bad thing in this case. It's a typical dilemma, with 2 shitty options. I just say that taking it like a ***** and putting up with them for a few years is the least shitty option, especially if he's going for a History PhD which I doubt has a bright career future. I wouldn't take loans if I wasn't studying a field with good career prospectives.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

No, I wouldn't return to parents which beat me. Actually, I'd sue them in your place. Actually actually, depending on the laws in your country, they might even be obligated to pay you for college.

I am agreeing with this. I've been told to say I was sorry when I wasn't and it stinks for decades afterwards if you care about your own integrity and honesty. Going back to them would be debasing yourself, quite the opposite of a lot of what you want to achieve at college.

Sue the heck out of them. Unfortunately, you need a lot of documentation and witnesses to have a high chance of success, but find a no-win-no-fee lawyer with a good record and sue them for college money, restorative damages, punitive damages and your legal fees, then take out restraining orders against the pair of them.

Then go to college, go to university, got to post-grad, move on and, if you can, forget they ever existed. You probably can't, but once you're free don't waste your time thinking about them.

I'm suprised he's actually still willing to pay for your college.

Abusive spouses and parents (and let's just bear in mind the father in this case could be abusing the mother too and she's passing that abuse on to the son or adding her own, one way or another) do a lot of promising and being disappointed and changing their minds. "Sometimes I worry about you, Beverly. Sometimes I worry a lot." - Alvin Marsh

He may not be willing to pay for it. He may be willing to pay for it on condition he gets his victim back now but never be willing to pay for it when the time comes. He may believe he's willing to pay for it but not be.

*twitch*

Starting to think about hollow-point bullets again. Going away now.

 

[Radelaide]

Teenagers never know how great they have it. They talk back, get a beat down, then think their parents are bad.

Because being physically beaten is the way most parents show their love right? Shut up.

OT: Fake an apology and get the money. Or get a scholarship and tell your dad to go fuck himself with a pointed stick.

Those are your options. I hope the latter for you., friend.

 

[LondonBeer]

Wait you can apologise ?

Man the hell up, beg crawl et your free money or go into the real world & get a job.

 

[Vakz]

If you ask me, fake the apology, then when you land a successful job and have everything going well, rub it in their faces. If they need help, don't give it to them.

I'll have to agree with this. It may be hard to fake an apology to someone who has treated you so badly, but then remember how much of his money you'll be spending on your education. That would make me happy at least.

 

[thevillageidiot13]

In this case it really doesn't matter who's right. Just apologize, take it like a ***** for your future's sake. I'm suprised he's actually still willing to pay for your college. Do that until you find a way to support yourself either in or after college, then just never contact your parents again.

Teenagers never know how great they have it. They talk back, get a beat down, then think their parents are bad.

Way to go, he alread said he's been abused for years.

At least I didn't tell him to 'take it like a *****'. Actually, after reading your post, did you really say something different from what I did?

When I was eight, I got beat when I tried to help my dad wash his car, and I accidentally got him wet with the hose. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't downplay my childhood by telling me that I was a spoiled teenager.

If you don't appreciate my posts, just ignore me. I will not quote you anymore after this. To explain my first post further tho:

I call anyone who has their parents pay for their college education spoiled. It's not an insult, just a commentary on upbringing. Every child should be that lucky.

Since you bring it up tho, what do you consider 'I got beat' to mean?

It wasn't the worst beating I got, but, afterwards, I had a nosebleed and a headache. It was just the first example that I could come up with, especially since (these days) they lecture me about how I don't help out around the house and how I don't show my gratitude at all by doing stuff with them.

 

[Saltyk]

Hey. Basically, my parents and I have never really gotten along. Growing up, I got beaten and verbally abused and just generally made to feel like shit all the time. After a year of college, I moved back in for summer. I managed to put up with my parents for about two months, then my dad and I got into a fight and I got beat down (physically). I moved out, and now, my parents have given me an ultimatum: apologize or lose the money I need for college.

I need input, experience, advice, and insight. Thanks.

Teenagers never know how great they have it. They talk back, get a beat down, then think their parents are bad.

When in reality...

You are among the lucky few who have parents who care enough to support you through your teen years, then afford to send you to college. Don't blow this great opportunity. Suck it up, go against your supposed morals, and endure your unique opportunity to be able have a free ride into higher learning. After you become an independent adult, you can refuse to accept their support. Until then, play by their rules, and don't rock the boat.

Or you could just face real life solo now and regret what could have been.

We don't know enough about the situation to say anything like that for sure. And no matter how unruly your child is, there is no excuse to beat them. I'm all for spanking young kids, but if his father actually beat him down, this is not okay. And not ALL teenagers are these unruly hellions people like to think they are. I've known plenty of people whose parents were shitty, to say the least. This could just as easily be a case of an abusive father as an unruly ungrateful brat of a kid. And considering the description of the mother, I'm tempted to say it's an abusive father. But without a description of the event in question, we can't really say.

And honestly, if the father is really abusive, I'd rather not advise him to fake an apology. At least, not as a primary solution. Maybe an absolute last resort, but not a default solution. I'd look into scholarships and ask the school's financial aid office for assistance and advice, first.

Still, I'm reluctant to give any advice without knowledge of what happened.

 

[viranimus]

.... Wow.. just wow. Im astonished at all the responses.

"Man the hell up, and go apologize"?!?!?! WTF?

How about man the hell up and go get a job and get set up with grants, scholarships and loans. Also I hope you do realize that if your worried about your grades you can in fact take part time classes to free up more time for work so that your GPA doesnt take a hit. Sure it will take longer, but If your ready to jump into the real world then you got to be prepared to get your feet a little muddy. Dont tell me it cant be done because I know I supported a family of 4 for 3 years working 40-60 hours a week and holding down 12-16 credit hours per semester, plus had to do the lions share of the house work.

If it were me. Sure I would go apologize, then I would refuse the help and continue to take classes and support myself. But hey thats just me and just my opinion that wont go over well with the coddled touchy feely crowd.

 

[Gudrests]

I have a 3.95 GPA

Ok you are a smart kid, you got physically beat down? Same thing happened when you were a child, Thats child abuse, "Hey mom and dad, I have an idea. Pay for college like the binding verbal agreement we came to, or I sue you/ call the cops for domestic abuse and violence" If you know you are in the right, Fight fire with...water.