Noob Moves

[MattRooney06]

Just admit it, we've all made a Noob move at some point, and they are normally hilarious

So lets all join hands and share some shall we, weather they are in real life, video games, or even just a witnessing

My three favourites are

1) During my first few weeks as an Escapist user i came accross a topic about Zero Punctuation, browsing through the comments i saw a user with a Yahtzee avatar, for some reason i thought it must be Yahtzee himself, so being a diehard fanoy i sent him a rather large and embarresing PM about how great i thought he was, two hours later i received one back from a very confused user....

2) I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 last month on the first level of dead centre, i was playing as a charger and as there are a few areas of the level allowing you to insta kill a survivor i waited next to a window, when the survivor's came along i burst out of my hiding place, charged towards them and fell straight out the window to my death, during my failiure of a charge i had also managed to knock a team mate out of the window....

3) Three dosn't need a lot of explaining, i was on Final Fantasy 7 fighting the final boss, i kept dieing even though the boss wasnt hitting me, i told my girlfried and she watched me play, after i lost three more times in a row she looked at me and took the controller of me, turns out i had been using my super special awesome chocolaty fudge coated mega awesome super attacks on my own characters

I dont Noob up often, but when i do i noob up hard

 

[Nimcha]

1) During my first few weeks as an Escapist user i came accross a topic about Zero Punctuation, browsing through the comments i saw a user with a Yahtzee avatar, for some reason i thought it must be Yahtzee himself, so being a diehard fanoy i sent him a rather large and embarresing PM about how great i thought he was, two hours later i received one back from a very confused user....

That's brilliant!

Last week I spent nearly 10 minutes trying to unlock the lock on my bike, until I eventually noticed what I was actually doing was trying to steal it. I found my actual bike parked a few meters further.

 

[Griphphin]

Way back during my first semester in college, I buy a drink and have a three-line conversation with the person behind the counter that I'm sure confused her as much as it did me.
"1.29$, here you go."
"Thank you, come again!"
"You too!"

They don't call me Dr.Smoooooth for nothing xD

 

[RobCoxxy]

Just admit it, we've all made a Noob move at some point, and they are normally hilarious

So lets all join hands and share some shall we, weather they are in real life, video games, or even just a witnessing

My three favourites are

1) During my first few weeks as an Escapist user i came accross a topic about Zero Punctuation, browsing through the comments i saw a user with a Yahtzee avatar, for some reason i thought it must be Yahtzee himself, so being a diehard fanoy i sent him a rather large and embarresing PM about how great i thought he was, two hours later i received one back from a very confused user....

2) I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 last month on the first level of dead centre, i was playing as a charger and as there are a few areas of the level allowing you to insta kill a survivor i waited next to a window, when the survivor's came along i burst out of my hiding place, charged towards them and fell straight out the window to my death, during my failiure of a charge i had also managed to knock a team mate out of the window....

3) Three dosn't need a lot of explaining, i was on Final Fantasy 7 fighting the final boss, i kept dieing even though the boss wasnt hitting me, i told my girlfried and she watched me play, after i lost three more times in a row she looked at me and took the controller of me, turns out i had been using my super special awesome chocolaty fudge coated mega awesome super attacks on my own characters

I dont Noob up often, but when i do i noob up hard

I love you.
More specifically, I love your foibles.

 

[The Cheezy One]

1) During my first few weeks as an Escapist user i came accross a topic about Zero Punctuation, browsing through the comments i saw a user with a Yahtzee avatar, for some reason i thought it must be Yahtzee himself, so being a diehard fanoy i sent him a rather large and embarresing PM about how great i thought he was, two hours later i received one back from a very confused user....

At about this time in my life on the 'scapist, I noticed ZP had gone up just moments before! I posted about how it was the earliest oppurtunity I ever had to post on the vid... only to be suspended for 3 days. I had never heard of the 'first' thing before, and got a harsh introduction. Pretty embarressing though.

A couple weeks ago me and some friends went round to the house of this nice family (daughter = hot) and we were talking about where we grew up. The mother said "I know Matt (me) and Sam (another guy) are locals (Newcastle) but where is everyone else from?"
I then smoothly jump in with "I'm not local, I'm from London" Thinking 'this is interesting, get her attention'. Turns out she meant, as we are mostly students, where we were before we went to uni. Social faux pas is my expertise, unfortunately

They don't call me Dr.Smoooooth for nothing xD

At the barbers:
"So what do you want done?"
"I'm fine how are you"

They don't call me Dr. Smoooooth... at all!

 

[Sovvolf]

A universal noob move:

Trying to kick a trained martial artist in the balls. Trust me, if you aren't trained and the other guy is, the slow arsed kick your attempting to throw will be easily blocked and you'll have a really pissed off fellow in front of you who can kick a whole lot faster and a whole lot harder than you...

Why I bring this up? Seems everytime people are talking about martial artist, one will say "I'll kick him in the balls"... Yeah, wont work. Unless your pretty damn fast with those legs of yours (I mean faster than what a trained martial artist is used to dodging and blocking) its just not going to work. Not to mention the fact that the move is so obvious that its almost expected.

Ho and for the love of god, down try and punch down below... That move is an even stupider move.

My noob move:

I one tried to butter toast while it was in the toaster... The lights went out and I was lucky not to be electrocuted.

 

[Urgh76]

My noob move:

I one tried to butter toast while it was in the toaster... The lights went out and I was lucky not to be electrocuted.

I could see that XD

OT:Im perfect I'd have to go with when I always used to run from battles in Final Fantasy to conserve time and energy, then wondered why I was having such a tough time beating the bosses

 

[MattRooney06]

Just admit it, we've all made a Noob move at some point, and they are normally hilarious

So lets all join hands and share some shall we, weather they are in real life, video games, or even just a witnessing

My three favourites are

1) During my first few weeks as an Escapist user i came accross a topic about Zero Punctuation, browsing through the comments i saw a user with a Yahtzee avatar, for some reason i thought it must be Yahtzee himself, so being a diehard fanoy i sent him a rather large and embarresing PM about how great i thought he was, two hours later i received one back from a very confused user....

2) I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 last month on the first level of dead centre, i was playing as a charger and as there are a few areas of the level allowing you to insta kill a survivor i waited next to a window, when the survivor's came along i burst out of my hiding place, charged towards them and fell straight out the window to my death, during my failiure of a charge i had also managed to knock a team mate out of the window....

3) Three dosn't need a lot of explaining, i was on Final Fantasy 7 fighting the final boss, i kept dieing even though the boss wasnt hitting me, i told my girlfried and she watched me play, after i lost three more times in a row she looked at me and took the controller of me, turns out i had been using my super special awesome chocolaty fudge coated mega awesome super attacks on my own characters

I dont Noob up often, but when i do i noob up hard

I love you.
More specifically, I love your foibles.

oh i have tons more

such as the time when i was playing mgs2

I was using the Nikatia (a remote controlled rocket launcher) and after stearing it around for a while looking for enemy's i saw one with his back turned, i flew towards him and blew him to kingdom come....yes i had hit myself

Or the time i first played MW2 online, somone dropped a care package over the edge of the game zone and i spent a full seven minuits trying to reach it (it wasnt even anything worthwile, just an airstrike).....

Or the time i played MW2 on underpass, i had an emergency airdrop (one that my team was practicaly counting on me getting, to keep the enemy at bay i threw a grenade towards their spawn, only to watch in dismay when i relised i had just thrown them my emergency airdrop marker

 

[PeePantz]

When I was six, I decided to surprise my mom and attempted to bake a chocolate yule log. I had no idea what I was doing, so I just poured ingredients into a baking pan. However, there were some ingredients that we didn't have or I couldn't find and I just had a weird soup mixture on a baking pan. I had no idea how to work the oven, so I just left it in there. Fucking baking noobs.

The other night, I was playing MAG. The enemy was getting our objective when a teammate had gotten into a scrap with the enemy who set it off, resulting in both of them dieing. Everyone else was dead and busy respawning, except me. I got out my resurrect kit and jumped down to get him, only to fall off the top and die, letting the objective get taken by the enemy with absolutely no one around.

I sat on the toilet seat and peed on it in a sleep deprived stupor.

While in a cast and having crutches, peeing sitting down is a lot "cleaner". On a sleepy night, I went to pee, and did the same thing, except I sat right on my balls. When I say sat, I mean more like landed. The cast prevented any ease of sitting and created more of a drop effect. The pain was horrendous.

 

[Skorpyo]

Once during a rather critical CS:S match, I ran between two AWP-ers. (De_Dust? How did you guess?)

I was killed by the one who was on my team, netting us a loss. This gave the OTHER one time to scope the poor, confused team-mate who shot me.

Multiple players on both teams saw it happen. I was literally laughed off of the server. The Admin booted me for making everyone else spam their mic's with laughter and taunts.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I once misread Leonardo Di Caprio as Da Vinci and ended up commenting the topic as if it involved the renaissance inventor. Then there was the time where I first joined and there was a thread titled "Favorite Race." I ended up going in there and wrote Need For Speed and gave the reason why. Turns out they meant race as in species

I was lucky enough not to be chewed out on both attempts and even managed to get a few laughs out of it.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Just admit it, we've all made a Noob move at some point, and they are normally hilarious

So lets all join hands and share some shall we, weather they are in real life, video games, or even just a witnessing

My three favourites are

1) During my first few weeks as an Escapist user i came accross a topic about Zero Punctuation, browsing through the comments i saw a user with a Yahtzee avatar, for some reason i thought it must be Yahtzee himself, so being a diehard fanoy i sent him a rather large and embarresing PM about how great i thought he was, two hours later i received one back from a very confused user....

2) I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 last month on the first level of dead centre, i was playing as a charger and as there are a few areas of the level allowing you to insta kill a survivor i waited next to a window, when the survivor's came along i burst out of my hiding place, charged towards them and fell straight out the window to my death, during my failiure of a charge i had also managed to knock a team mate out of the window....

3) Three dosn't need a lot of explaining, i was on Final Fantasy 7 fighting the final boss, i kept dieing even though the boss wasnt hitting me, i told my girlfried and she watched me play, after i lost three more times in a row she looked at me and took the controller of me, turns out i had been using my super special awesome chocolaty fudge coated mega awesome super attacks on my own characters

I dont Noob up often, but when i do i noob up hard

#3 is a stroke of pure genius. *Wipes away tear*

My greatest noob mistake was probably in Oblivion, with me wondering why my Argonian character was dying in water (Mauled by slaughterfish).

Followed closely by trying to drive over the asploded bridge in Grand Theft Auto III as soon as I started it up. Then doing so again, drowning again. And again. And again.

 

[Blitzkrieg64]

Image searching yiff with safe search turned off. I like the art, but it was still weird at the time since I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

 

[Lilani]

One that I still commit due to overconfidence is using only one save file for a single game. Typically, if I feel like I'm going to get in a jam soon, I save a file twice so that I still have one to save over as I continue to progress. But, if something ever happens and I need to get out of a place that there is no way out of, that other file is always there to serve as a backup.

I still haven't completed Final Fantasy Tactics because I got stuck someplace at a lower level than I should be, but there is no way for me to go back and level up more :-(

 

[s0m3th1ng]

My greatest noob mistake was probably in Oblivion, with me wondering why my Argonian character was dying in water (Mauled by slaughterfish).

I pretty much quit playing morrowind because I couldn't figure out why I kept dying when I went for a swim. Played it on the Xbox and everything was so grainy I couldn't see shit when underwater. Fucking slaughterfish.

 

[Saltyk]

3) Three dosn't need a lot of explaining, i was on Final Fantasy 7 fighting the final boss, i kept dieing even though the boss wasnt hitting me, i told my girlfried and she watched me play, after i lost three more times in a row she looked at me and took the controller of me, turns out i had been using my super special awesome chocolaty fudge coated mega awesome super attacks on my own characters

I'm just dumbfounded. I mean you had to put some work into that one. And how do you even get that far? I'm... I mean... How?
In a related noob, I had a friend that got the the train on disc 2, but couldn't beat it. He was like level 30 with his characters. He never did any grinding. EVER. I'm still not sure how he got that far at that low a level.

As for me. I'm pretty sure I make noob mistakes on any game that I just started. Even if it's a game type that I play regularly.

For a FF7 noob moment, I once fought Materia Keeper with Vincent, whom I had just recruited. During the fight, Vincent had a Limit Break, so I used it and turned him into the Galian Beast. One of his attacks was Beast Flare, a fire element attack. Materia Keeper absorbs fire elemental attacks. You can probably guess how this goes. Vincent kept healing Materia Keeper faster than I could kill it. Why I didn't just KO Vincent, I don't know.

Playing MAG, I've thrown grenades and had them bounce back and kill me a couple times. Once, it was off post, I swear! I've also thrown a grenade into a heavily fortified enemy position and for no reason, ran in there (I swear I'm smarter than this), getting killed by my own grenade... Yeah, I'm bad with grenades it seems...

 

[Free Thinker]

Playing Corki on League of Legends without having prior knowledge and without checking guides and builds. I was called terrible, terrible things.

 

[angry_flashlight]

MW2: Care packages + Tall objects =

I fell to my death in a game of S&D while I was the last person alive on my team. That was embarrassing.