Noobs say the funniest things

[Zepren]

This being the escapist, I can safely say there's no noobs here to flame this so here it goes.
What is the funniest thing you've ever had a noob say to you on any game?

One of mine was back when I played Runescape years ago, a noob came up to me say "WHAT DO I RUN FROM?!?!?!?!". I was like "wtf?". It turned out he thought the game was called "Run Escape!" lol ah good times, so whats yours?

 

[Aunel]

yours probably takes the 100G achievement for best "noobz momentz"

but mine is something that happened to me in the odd place "real life"
Fake uitar girl: I am getting a custom made guitar, yippie *girl squeel*
me: Ok nice, what amp are you going to use
her: What's an amp?

facepalm, on her face

 

[LeonLethality]

Noobs often saying they have high level alternate accounts on games without any proof to back it up is always hilarious

You should also change this threads title to something like "noobs say the darnedest things" or something along those lines.

 

[Space Spoons]

"Ken is the best character in Street Fighter IV because his Shoryuken is the strongest."

Good times, good times.

 

[DuplicateValue]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

 

[Zepren]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

Hmmmmmm yeah i wonder where he is too

 

[DemonicVixen]

Sir Ian McKellen did not, definatly did not, play Gandalf in Lord Of the Rings.

Ha god that was so funny. Should have seen their face when my other mate proved me correct that yes it was Ian McKellen.

 

[hopeneverdies]

How I mine for fish?

I'm not kidding. Then again I think it was a joke.

But someone in TF2 asked me why he couldn't pick up dropped intel and take it to his base and kept shooting at me. We were on the same team and he wanted to give it to the enemy.

 

[Martyn106]

Quite recently a noob started screaming at my friend for being a camper, this is funny because my friend was using a knife class and was moving constantly

 

[Dorian]

I was playing L4D2 with my friend a week ago.

He ran up to me, smacked me with his ax, and screamed over the mic:
"DUDE!!! HOW DO I RELOAD MY MELEE WEAPON!?!"

To be fair, though, he was mostly being an ass.

 

[comadorcrack]

L4D PC Version

"Dude On the Xbox its left trigger to melee, But Left Mouse shoots! What that Hell is Melee!"

Ooooh How I love Yanks

 

[dark_taint92]

Well this one time, some guy made a stupid thread about things noobs say on The Escapist, not even realizing how much of an annoying elitist it made him sound.

Poor guy......wonder whatever happened to him...

Hmmmmmm yeah i wonder where he is too

holy crap batman look at that sarcasm.
noob moment for me was in l4d2 when one of the player ran up to me and said were can i find ammo for the frying pan, i facpalmed and continued to riddle him with a full clip from the tactical shotgun.

 

[Flishiz]

Well there was this one time a noob (in the sense of being someone who sucks at a game and is an asshole to everyone to compensate) was trying to insult my little brother (then age 11) on Live playing COD4.

Brother: "I kicked your ass, just admit it"

Noob: "I kicked your mom's ass last night"

Brother: "...my mom died when I was 5. I'm an orphan"

As a disclaimer I should say that it was purely a joke, but it sure shut that guy up.

 

[Davey Woo]

Might have to go back to the old times of Runescape too.
Him: "Drop all your items on the floor, and then press Alt + F4! It duplicates all your items."
Me: "OK..."
Me: "Hey thanks, that really worked!"
Him: "What really?!"

His character disappeared after that, so I assume he did it...

 

[Frankydee]

I was doing my good deed for the day and monking for a bunch of noobs on Guild Wars and we happened to be doing one of the more incredibly difficult missions that I had already beaten. It basically boiled down to me, one other monk and a bunch of melee.

and we failed miserably after about 5 mins in.

Both myself and the other monk were experienced, seasoned players and we both got the usual slew of "OMG HEAL NOOB MONK."

there's only so much one can do when 6 out of 8 members are melee.

 

[Warrior Irme]

How I mine for fish?

I'm not kidding. Then again I think it was a joke.

But someone in TF2 asked me why he couldn't pick up dropped intel and take it to his base and kept shooting at me. We were on the same team and he wanted to give it to the enemy.

How I mine for fish is just a silly MMO joke, which I admit on occasion going into general chat on various games and starting long conversations with which pisses off the "hardcore" crowd to no end.

On topic though. Playing L4D2 with a couple friends, one of which had never played portal and one that thinks it is god, had one friend shout "The tank is a lie!" as we were being attacked only to garner the response "The tank is not a lie and is pummeling me in the face right now!"

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[lacktheknack]

"Ken is the best character in Street Fighter IV because his Shoryuken is the strongest."

Good times, good times.

I hope you did Akuma's "Die one thousand deaths!" ultra on him.

Another SF4 moment was some noob complaining that Gen was a crap character because he had only a couple special moves and his combos never seemed to work.

I proceeded to launch off the ceiling straight into his face and sucked him into a tornado.