Oh Dear.

[Mr.Squishy]

A week or so ago, I sat in class, feeling vaguely like I was going to puke. Trying to ignore the feeling and resume watching the movie in class, I also ignored that it got worse. When I finally couldn't hold it any longer, I ran out of the classroom, towards the toilets. Surprise, surprise, halfway there all the milk I drank for breakfast and quite a lot of other stuff forces it's way out my throat and onto the floor. Feeling more coming, I make a run for the toilets again. Right before the door to the toilets, the rest of it comes out, though minimal liquid this time, the rest being delicious brown...I don't know. Did I mention it's a busy hallway and it was at almost the end of the class that made the run for it? Fuuuun...

 

[ThreeWords]

I only ever make mistakes like the one mentioned by the OP when I have people around, for optimum embarresment...

This.

I'm incredibly smooth and dexterous, except when people are a) watching me closly for some reason or b)ask me to do somehting because of said dexterity and smoothness

 

[The_Healer]

A week or so ago, I sat in class, feeling vaguely like I was going to puke. Trying to ignore the feeling and resume watching the movie in class, I also ignored that it got worse. When I finally couldn't hold it any longer, I ran out of the classroom, towards the toilets. Surprise, surprise, halfway there all the milk I drank for breakfast and quite a lot of other stuff forces it's way out my throat and onto the floor. Feeling more coming, I make a run for the toilets again. Right before the door to the toilets, the rest of it comes out, though minimal liquid this time, the rest being delicious brown...I don't know. Did I mention it's a busy hallway and it was at almost the end of the class that made the run for it? Fuuuun...

Oh nice. At least you had a fairly good reason to make a run for it. It perhaps would have been more embarrassing if you just ran out for no reason.
You should have collapsed for effect, would have made people think you were actually in trouble and forget about you're whole episode.

 

[Wibble]

Recently while drinking with a few friends of mine, i decided to introduce the pussys to strait alcohol...bad idea. i forgot that alot of girls like thier alcohol sugar coated and watered down. So while i have gone back to partying with the boys i am wondering how to get puke stains off my carpet...any ideas???

 

[GrinningManiac]

I'm a Heath Robinson legend.

I fixed a broken hard drive with a Kitkat wrapper, and got all my important data off it, and it still works.

My sister had some fairy lights on the door frame for Christmas, with tinsel behind it. These melted. I used humbrol (model) paint to touch up the frame and saved a massive argument.

I also once Pritt sticked some wallpaper back onto the kitchen wall after our Rabbit pulled it off. Held up for, get this, 10 years. Until my parents redecorated!

You, sir, are a god

How did the Kitkat thing work? Did you bribe the harddrive with chocolate or summin'?

 

[Murlin]

One day I worked myself almost to death to write an essay for french class, next day teacher says she won't have time to correct it so she won't take 'em to give a mark no matter how much we asked, out of pure fury I throw my sheet away. One week later she says she'll take them after all...

 

[Talyn.Co]

If it's something that can happen to anyone, it will happen to me. Also people who can operate an object (such as a computer) with complete ease and without error, if I perform the same task in the exact same way as them, I will get an error of some kind, even the occasional blue screen.

 

[DemonicVixen]

i can guarentee when i need to find something such as my bus pass or id cards in the morning, you can guarentee they aren't where i left them the night before. I hunt and hunt until im almost crying with anger unti suddenly i search in a place i have already looked and low and behold there it is... the missing item laughing at me... Never feels... Ever seen Spiderwick Chronicles? i have and i swear i have an angry boggart in my house!!!! Better get the honey fast...

 

[sillyboydozza]

hmmmmm. wells...
mine oh dear momonet has to be when one day me my brother and my sister walked back from school to find that the house was locked and my brother had no key. me being the dumb small child that i was decided that the ONLY alternative was for me to grease myself up like a dirty man in a field of pigs and squeez through the cat flap...

it didnt work
it did up until my waist were i got stuck and my brother had to destroy the whole door to free me...

worst part was, when i finaly got through, tired and bleeding in several places... mum opened the door, back early from work

 

[Sulu]

Been single for a year, met a smokin girl, got with her and ripped my goodamn forskin. Have been unable to get it on for the last two weeks. Fuck you God, what did i ever do to you?

Say what now?

 

[Ren3004]

Last time I went to a dinner party, I managed to spill my coke bottle the first time I put it in the table. A few minutes later, I knocked down and broke my glass.

Having in mind that the dinner was fondue, everyone around the table was adamant that I should be extra careful when the pots filled with hot boiling cooking oil were put on the table.

 

[RanD00M]

I do think life sometime has a rather sick sense of humor.

My and my uncle were going to the pool and we were getting swim wear at his place.Long story short,he slammed a door on his finger and it nearly fell off.

 

[JDviewer]

What happens with is that sometimes I drink from a mug or a bottle and think that its nearly empty, but when I go and drink, I get drenched. Water is okay, but I've done that in the past with tea and coffee (luckily not too hot at the time!)

 

[Spitfire175]

This evening, having not touched any alcohol at the party, and still being the only one to throw up.

The pictures will be all over Facebook.

Grr.

Pictures of a desperate, lost, unhappy fellow dodging projectile vomit in a very Mathrix-like fashion?

 

[walls of cetepedes]

This evening, having not touched any alcohol at the party, and still being the only one to throw up.

The pictures will be all over Facebook.

Grr.

You said you'd be drinking.
[sub]You lied to me.[/sub]

Stevey, Carlsberg isn't nice.
I refuse to drink that shit.

 

[SmartIdiot]

Yeah, like last Sunday, for example, I was driving home from my friends house when I was stopped by the police. They searched me and found cannabis. Cannabis I was going to smoke on my day off. They confiscated it. Bastards.

 

[walls of cetepedes]

The beauty of beer is that the more you drink, the less shit it tastes.
Anyway, that can't have been the only drink there.

The Smirnoff which I was after got seized almost instantaneously.