Ok so about confidence

[bluemistake2]

Right im bluemistake now that we got that out of the way i can tell you why i made this topic.
Ok so heres the thing theres this girl *gasp* (i know, i know its amazing isn't it?) so anyway...
So since you read up to this and asuming u read the title u already know what am on about so ill cut that and just go straight to it.
Is there any advice my fellow Escapists can give me advice on randomly opening a conversation with her?
Anyway to help build confidence?
And to keep one of these conversations going with a person you barely know? (Do note that i dont exactly have the best reputation and aren't the most attractive person in the world, also im in highschool at the moment not sure wheter that starts or not?)
ANY help would be apreciated.
And please dont just say "Just go talk to her" because im not exactly the most confident person in the world as the title sais.

 

[Legend of J]

Just say HI get used to talkin to girls any girl then go for the gold. If that makes sense it will help you to get used to talking to girls. If that helps...whats worked for me is...postin status about how much i enjoyed twilight (got me talkin to alot of girls lol).

 

[Brutus03]

Don't hesitate too long, you'll be kicking yourself later. Plus its only highschool and you have a long life after that.

 

[Legend of J]

Just say HI get used to talkin to girls any girl then go for the gold. If that makes sense it will help you to get used to talking to girls. If that helps...whats worked for me is...postin status about how much i enjoyed twilight (got me talkin to alot of girls lol).

But your best bet is finding somethink you enjoy and well listening to girls. I have quiet a few female friends (spent 6 mounths living in accomidation with them) and since i was the only lad sharing they always came to me when they wanted to ***** about there bfs so i just got used to agreeing and trying to suggest stuff.

 

[bluemistake2]

Just say HI get used to talkin to girls any girl then go for the gold. If that makes sense it will help you to get used to talking to girls. If that helps...whats worked for me is...postin status about how much i enjoyed twilight (got me talkin to alot of girls lol).

I was going to say a smartarsed comment about the twilight if i were to do it but its gonna get me on probation or suspended or something but ill just leave it at that.
I do have some female friends though i have no real trouble talking to anyone just even starting a conversation with her.

 

[Legend of J]

Just say HI get used to talkin to girls any girl then go for the gold. If that makes sense it will help you to get used to talking to girls. If that helps...whats worked for me is...postin status about how much i enjoyed twilight (got me talkin to alot of girls lol).

I was going to say a smartarsed comment about the twilight if i were to do it but its gonna get me on probation or suspended or something but ill just leave it at that.
I do have some female friends though i have no real trouble talking to anyone just even starting a conversation with her.

You can knock twilight as much as you want i don't care lol at the end of the day its your opinion its not going to change mine lol.

 

[DefunctTheory]

They have a saying in the army...

Fake it till you make it.

Actually works.

Oh, and using the word 'you' rather than the letter 'u' would probably help too.

 

[bluemistake2]

They have a saying in the army...

Fake it till you make it.

Actually works.

Oh, and using the word 'you' rather than the letter 'u' would probably help too.

Yes, yes i am aware of that, became a problem after i spend the last 12 hours talking to random people on Facebook.
Oh and also one of my friends is a good friend of hers dont know if i can work that in my favor though.

 

[Sanquinius96]

Look, I find the best thing is to be totally honest. Just tell her that you're very attracted to her, there's no point beating around the bush, concocting elaborate stories that go out the window as soon as you start stuttering and gibbering like a moron. Just go over to her, when she isn't busy, preferably on her own, say hi, and just say that you find her very attractive. It worked for me.

Actually, men/boys will naturally talk in gibberish and start stuttering when they're talking to an attractive woman/girl. They actually did a study on that.

Back on subject; being honest to her is indeed the best thing to do. It also worked for me.

 

[Crosshead]

You say you barely know her. Do you know any of her friends? Or siblings? Is she on facebook? Starting a conversation from nowhere is difficult. I'm a confident, outgoing loudmouth, and I'd balk at the task you have in front of you. It would be much easier if you have a topic of relevance to you both that you can discuss. Even if it's just, "I hate maths class." Don't be a stalker though. An open ended question like "What was Mr X talking about?" is good, because it means she can't just answer with a yes/no, and your objective is to start a nice conversation.

Presumably, you want to get to know her better because you fancy her. I'm going to give you the useless tip of "be relaxed". Most girls at your age like confidence and are repelled by the reek of desperation. So try not to build it into a massive thing in your head. You just want to exchange a few words. Don't be pushy, keep it light and conversational. If you exchange 30 words, thats a win, because it makes her easier to talk to next time. If you're still talking after ten minutes and she is smiling, then maybe ask for a date, depending on how much she is smiling.

Make a special effort on your looks that day. Nothing over the top, but spend some time making sure your wardrobe is as good as it can be, you're clean and fresh smelling, your hair is OK, etc. Feeling good about how you look will boost your confidence and make it easier.

And good luck. I remember being where you are, and it was no fun.

 

[bluemistake2]

You say you barely know her. Do you know any of her friends? Or siblings? Is she on facebook? Starting a conversation from nowhere is difficult. I'm a confident, outgoing loudmouth, and I'd balk at the task you have in front of you. It would be much easier if you have a topic of relevance to you both that you can discuss. Even if it's just, "I hate maths class." Don't be a stalker though. An open ended question like "What was Mr X talking about?" is good, because it means she can't just answer with a yes/no question, and you're objective is to start a conversation.

Presumably, you want to get to know her better because you fancy her. I'm going to give you the useless tip of "be relaxed". Most girls at your age like confidence and are repelled by the reek of desperation. So try not to build it into a massive thing in your head. You just want to exchange a few words. Don't be pushy, keep it light and conversational. If you exchange 30 words, thats a win, because it makes her easier to talk to next time.

Make a special effort on your looks that day. Nothing over the top, but spend some time making sure your wardrobe is as good as it can be, you're clean and fresh smelling, your hair is OK, etc. Feeling good about how you look will boost your confidence and make it easier.

And good luck. I remember being where you are, and it was no fun.

Thanks great advice, also shes on facebook seeing how i dont exactly have the best chances to open conversations during school (Like she's always hanging around people i dont know, talking to people non-stop and what not and due to a execive amount ass-kicking by my dad for making sure i use proper courtesy and whatnot i cant interupt a conversation) so would opening a random conversation on facebook? or maybe even msn and whatnot be a option? (Do note i have an accent which does stir up the conversation (like people asking me to speak dutch etc.) )

 

[Crosshead]

You'll have to ask someone else about starting a conversation via facebook, I'm afraid. It wasn't something I had to deal with when I was on the dating scene.

 

[JokerCrowe]

If you feel it's the "talking to girls" that is your problem: talk to other girls before talking to the one you like (it's like practice). Plus, you might even make some friends! if the problem is this particular girl, well, how well do you know her? try to find an interest or something you have in common (but ACTUALLY have something in common with her! no-one likes a liar) and talk to her about that. If you feel weird just starting talking to her, ask her a question, (keep away from yes/no-questions though).
Actually, I think all the things I've just said have actullay been said before I did it, but all those people can't be wrong!

(Actually, there is a book I could point you to... but... nah, I guess you're not Swedish, right?)

 

[The_Decoy]

Imbibe a *small* amount of alcohol. Both of you. Helps people to relax and chat, social lubricant and all that.

Helps with me at any rate.

 

[JSR]

Just say HI get used to talkin to girls any girl then go for the gold. If that makes sense it will help you to get used to talking to girls. If that helps...whats worked for me is...postin status about how much i enjoyed twilight (got me talkin to alot of girls lol).

I was going to say a smartarsed comment about the twilight if i were to do it but its gonna get me on probation or suspended or something but ill just leave it at that.
I do have some female friends though i have no real trouble talking to anyone just even starting a conversation with her.

I think it irony you bang on about the confidance and youre then turn around to some1 and ***** on about twishiht we know its shite and for girls but he was helpin yah

 

[Layz92]

I would say work your way in. Start of facebook or whatever social networking she is into (make an account if you must... can borrow my pirate one if you like I don't use it hehe) then get her MSN or whatever chat program she uses, talk to her on that because that doesn't require face to face confrontation/contact so much easier to get your words right, then talk to her in real life from the position of someone who knows how to make her laugh etc. Working your way up doesn't have to take long could be a week or two of effort but it's much more comfortable instead of just springing it on her and yourself for that matter.

 

[Sanquinius96]

I actually like those days where non of these social sites existed. You just had to plot and plan your way into her life, putting your social life on the table and facing every challenge head-on.

When things went right, you were more then a winner; a successful manipulator of a Human's life

Then again, when things go bad, well....

 

[BonsaiK]

Right im bluemistake now that we got that out of the way i can tell you why i made this topic.
Ok so heres the thing theres this girl *gasp* (i know, i know its amazing isn't it?) so anyway...
So since you read up to this and asuming u read the title u already know what am on about so ill cut that and just go straight to it.
Is there any advice my fellow Escapists can give me advice on randomly opening a conversation with her?
Anyway to help build confidence?
And to keep one of these conversations going with a person you barely know? (Do note that i dont exactly have the best reputation and aren't the most attractive person in the world, also im in highschool at the moment not sure wheter that starts or not?)
ANY help would be apreciated.
And please dont just say "Just go talk to her" because im not exactly the most confident person in the world as the title sais.

These questions have been answered in the Relationship Problem Thread, at the following link: ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=31#5914123