Ok, you get a girlfriend, now what?

[Dogstile]

You've done it, you've gotten through the advice threads to get a girlfriend. You've gotten there! Well done, high fives all around! Except its not over yet, you actually have to hold this relationship together, even if she drives you up the wall. (At times people, not all the time)

This might be her asking you something you can't answer (for me it's "why are you in a bad mood" and refusing to drop it) or getting annoyed because you actually have something else to do, we all have to experience this in our relationships from time to time because hell, we're dealing with people who aren't exactly like us, only like us enough for us to want to be with them, so inevitably you're going to clash on some things.

My question to you escapists, is how do you manage to bite the bullet and stay calm even when you want to tell them that they're being stupid or a hypocrite or even just plain difficult?

No, my current love life is fine, why do you ask?

 

[Cowabungaa]

you actually have to hold this relationship together, even if she drives you up the wall.

No you don't. It's not some kind of life-or-death situation. If the relationship sucks, end it.

Of course, every relationship has it's stressful moments, but those pass and are solvable. If they're not, it's time to move on. How I would stay calm in those solvable situations? Remember that they're solvable, and that I love her. Simple as that I suppose.

That said, I haven't actually been in a relationship yet, so take my advice/words as you will. I did just tell a girl for the first time ever that I like her, and she didn't hate me for it and thought a second date was a good idea, but I'm far from there yet.

 

[Dogstile]

you actually have to hold this relationship together, even if she drives you up the wall.

No you don't. It's not some kind of life-or-death situation. If the relationship sucks, end it.

Of course, every relationship has it's stressful moments, but those pass and are solvable. If they're not, it's time to move on. How I would stay calm in those solvable situations? Remember that they're solvable, and that I love her. Simple as that I suppose.

That said, I haven't actually been in a relationship yet, so take my advice/words as you will. I did just tell a girl for the first time ever that I like her, and she didn't hate me for it and thought a second date was a good idea, but I'm far from there yet.

It was an exaggeration, i'll edit it so its more clear. I'm not saying its like that all the time, it just happens from time to time.

But good luck, I hope yours goes well for you, exciting times ahead.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Because it's worth it?

The same reason you have a dog, even though you have to clean up it's shit.

Because it's worth it.

 

[AstylahAthrys]

Make her feel good about herself. Do stuff together. Do stuff without each other. Balance intimate and non-intimate activities. If you mess up, apologize and make her know that you love her no matter what. Take a step back and look at what went wrong and try to not do it again.

Arguments are good, they allow you to take the opportunity to see what is going wrong. They get out the anger.

If she really drives you completely insane to the point you are miserable, it's not worth it. Dump her.

 

[Phasmal]

My question to you escapists, is how do you manage to bite the bullet and stay calm even when you want to tell them that they're being stupid or a hypocrite or even just plain difficult?

You just tell them?
Yeah, you might have a fight, but if you just grin and bear it none of your issues will be resolved and will slowly build up to boiling point.

Being someone's boyfriend doesn't mean you have to be happy-smiley-agreeing-with-them all the time. And your girlfriend is not going to explode into a million tiny pieces should you disagree with her.

Me and my boyfriend have been together three years next month, and we can disagree with each other. Sometimes someone will get upset, but mostly it's like `Meh, Agree to disagree`.

And if they're driving you up the wall- get some space, some `me` time. You can't hang around someone all the time or you will wanna kill them.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

My question to you escapists, is how do you manage to bite the bullet and stay calm even when you want to tell them that they're being stupid or a hypocrite or even just plain difficult?

You just tell them?
Yeah, you might have a fight, but if you just grin and bear it none of your issues will be resolved and will slowly build up to boiling point.

Being someone's boyfriend doesn't mean you have to be happy-smiley-agreeing-with-them all the time. And your girlfriend is not going to explode into a million tiny pieces should you disagree with her.

Me and my boyfriend have been together three years next month, and we can disagree with each other. Sometimes someone will get upset, but mostly it's like `Meh, Agree to disagree`.

And if they're driving you up the wall- get some space, some `me` time. You can't hang around someone all the time or you will wanna kill them.

Also this.

If my other half is being stupid, I tell them, and I fully expect her to tell me when I'm being ridiculous.

Seems to be working for us so far.

Been together since we were both 15.

 

[Qwurty2.0]

Because it's worth it?

The same reason you have a dog, even though you have to clean up it's shit.

Because it's worth it.

I don't know, cleaning up her shit might be a deal-breaker for me...

'>.>

<.<'

 

[saoirse13]

My advice is to take each day as it comes. Try not to think too far ahead, you could end up having too many expectations then and that can sometimes put some unnecessary strain on the relationship. If you are driving each-other up the wall, just take a step back and try to talk it out together. Tell eachother how your both feeling, talk about any issues that are bugging you. And then try to work out a solution. And my biggest piece of advice is, Don't rush into things too quickly. Take my word for it, it usually never ends well.
Honesty and trust are the key to maintaining a realionship. And remember, agruments happen. It's how you deal with them that is important (no immaturity, aka she/he started it so I'm going to do this... that never ends well either lol). You know what just don't over-think things either. If you love someone enough, it will work out.

 

[Dogstile]

My question to you escapists, is how do you manage to bite the bullet and stay calm even when you want to tell them that they're being stupid or a hypocrite or even just plain difficult?

You just tell them?
Yeah, you might have a fight, but if you just grin and bear it none of your issues will be resolved and will slowly build up to boiling point.

Being someone's boyfriend doesn't mean you have to be happy-smiley-agreeing-with-them all the time. And your girlfriend is not going to explode into a million tiny pieces should you disagree with her.

Me and my boyfriend have been together three years next month, and we can disagree with each other. Sometimes someone will get upset, but mostly it's like `Meh, Agree to disagree`.

And if they're driving you up the wall- get some space, some `me` time. You can't hang around someone all the time or you will wanna kill them.

Ah see, that's my problem. I tried the me time approach, it made her even more upset. I did just spend about three hours on the phone explaining to her that it helps me calm down and avoids bigger problems though, so that might be settled.

But the advice was sound, thank you.

 

[e2density]

You've done it, you've gotten through the advice threads to get a girlfriend.

UNREALISTIC SCENARIO, ABORTING THOUGHT PROCESS.
You don't get girlfriends by reading advice threads. You get girlfriends by not playing video games all day, going outside, and maybe...I don't know...talking to girls?

 

[CruisingForBiddies]

Because it's worth it?

The same reason you have a dog, even though you have to clean up it's shit.

Because it's worth it.

I don't know, cleaning up her shit might be a deal-breaker for me...

'>.>

<.<'

Really? Picking up poo gives you time to reflect on all the good times you have had with your beloved companion. Dogs are the best.
Captcha: sick puppy ...

 

[Dogstile]

You've done it, you've gotten through the advice threads to get a girlfriend.

UNREALISTIC SCENARIO, ABORTING THOUGHT PROCESS.
You don't get girlfriends by reading advice threads. You get girlfriends by not playing video games all day, going outside, and maybe...I don't know...talking to girls?

Most of the advice threads are there helping people achieve just that dude/dudette

 

[Shadow flame master]

I give her all the attention my male sized brain can give her. Also, I'll try not to say anything stupid around her, her parents, her brothers/sisters, her preacher, her cousins, her friends or her 7 evil exes.

I will tell her that I can be a bit mean and stand-offish with people I don't like, so if her friends are around, I'll put on my fake smile and try not to stab the ***** in her eye. Even if my girlfriend wanted to do it too.

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Well my only real condition for a girlfriend it that I enjoy being around her. So I'd probably just hang out with her. We'd hopefully hang out whenever we wanted, which would hopefully be whenever possible.we'd go see movies, beat some co-op games, go for walk's, and just talk.

Hopefully she would become my best friend.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Wait, I'm getting a girlfriend? For real?! Yes, I can't imagine what it would be like to have a female companion, but from what little experience I've had, I've found out that I'm probably the needy dependent one. In which case, "keeping a girlfriend" for me would boil down to trying to figure out exactly how much of me she can stand and desperately trying to stay within those boundaries. I've driven more than one person away with my apparent desperation and it's really difficult to hide.

I honestly can't imagine needing "me" time if a girl liked me that much. I really don't understand the concept. Fuck my space and my stupid hobbies. A girl likes ME!!!!!!

Yeah, I have problems.

 

[isometry]

No need to put up with a lousy partner, just return to the self-improvement threads and aim for higher standards next time.

 

[pierre666lol]

There's always going to be ups and downs in any realatioship, but if youre having difficulty with their attitude, just give yourself a minute and close your eyes, then remind yourself the reasons why you find said person so special. Otherwise you wouldn't have lasted long enough to have the difficulty you experience.