One Sentence Summaries

[Spaz91]

MGS4: NANOMACHINES DID IT

 

[Trifer420]

Morrowind: Kill 'em all, God will recognize his own. Or: You can't spell "serial manslaughter" without Laughter!
Myst: And people wonder why GameFAQs was invented.

lol

 

[Spaz91]

Resi 5: OH GOD theres shitloads of people trying to kill me, but they're black so I won't shoot them because that would be racist, I'll go cause the genocide of Spanish peasants instead...

Fallout 3: The game for people who don't like games.

Worms World Party: I'll go get the beer and crisps.

Guitar Hero/Rock Band: Much better than REAL instruments.

Ocarina of Time: Bad graphics, clunky gameplay and awfil dialoge, obviously the best game ever.

Kingdom Hearts 1/2: Why the hell do I love this game so much?

 

[sonicspin]

Kingdom Hearts: Disney Characters AND Final Fantasy Characters? Holy Shit!

Zelda: Find sword, slice shit!

Mario: Jump on alot of shit!

Sonic Classic: Run through alot of shit!

New Sonic: Can't play this shit!

Resident Evil Classic: Can't see shit!

New Resident Evil: Where the shit are the zombies!

Halo 1-3: Shoot that alien shit!

Halo Wars: What's this shit?

70% of the Wii game market: Shit!

 

[sonicspin]

Dear JRPG developers (a haiku):

I can't skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
I hate you so very much

A haiku is meant to be 5,7,5 so let's help you out,

I can't Skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
You guys are such dicks

 

[ohellynot]

naruto:[enter four words to do with ninja]
shameless cash in

 

[ShogunGino]

Gears of War 2: Now with preposterous amounts of testosterone!!(Preposterone!!)
Madworld: I did always keep telling my friends that Nintendo would eventually allow and release some interesting, entertaining violent games.(really, I did. MW and Overkill proved my prediction, lets see how long it lasts)
Psychonauts: It can ALWAYS get weirder.
No More Heroes: A nerd will rise...
Skies of Arcadia: If you hate angsty, moody JRPGs, I've got the game for you!
DDR: Don't miss a SINGLE arrow of it will horribly throw off your groove.
Destroy All Humans!: Incoming madness, yay.
Mirror's Edge: You fail your jump check and died.(For the record, I have lots of fun with Mirror's Edge)

 

[DoW Lowen]

Dear JRPG developers (a haiku):

I can't skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
I hate you so very much

A haiku is meant to be 5,7,5 so let's help you out,

I can't Skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
You guys are such dicks

Or it could be (if you want to be really Japanese)

Cutscenes are shameful
Villain has become victor
Fuck you cunts, go die

L4D: I wouldn't like to be you guys
Fallout 3: Wouldn't want to be there
Gears of war 1+2: Life must be tough
Grand Theft Auto: Your life sucks
F.E.A.R: Hate to be you

(Notice the trend in games?)

 

[EeveeElectro]

Soul Calibur: Big boobies are great for distracting.
Dead Rising: The most fun you will ever have at a shopping market full of zombies.
Kingdom Hearts: Gary-Stu comes to kill Disney!

 

[Syntax Error]

Silent Hill: Why the British need to leave their cults at home. (Why do the heads of the cult all sound like Brits?) -or- Try to hang onto your family members!

Fatal Frame: Don't ever let anyone ever take your picture. Ever.

Final Fantasy VII: Look, a long-haired genocidal maniac!
Final Fantasy VIII: Look, a boring guy and his high school friends with cool shoes!
Final Fantasy IX: Press X to watch this boring crap that you don't care about and look, that long-haired guy looks like a woman!

Silent Hill 1: If your daughter goes missing, please, let the police help with the searching.
Silent Hill 2: If a guy with a very big knife who rapes mannequins is after you, chances are, you did something to deserve it.
Silent Hill 3: If you are an adopted daughter who was found in a cemetery right after a cataclysmic event, your past will come back to haunt you.
Silent Hill 4: Pickaxe > Gun.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

tired player struggles on
cutscene flows after save point
hero falls again

 

[theklng]

a learning game! this is important for those moments of elevator talk when you're stuck with a pitch you just want to get off to your boss.

 

[Caimekaze]

Persona 4: If you study, you will be more popular, and as such be better at kicking arse.
Disgaea 1/2: MASSIVE DAMAGE.
Final Fantasy XI: This monster pops once every four to twenty hours, and has a two percent chance of dropping the item you want; good luck!
Dirge of Cerberus: Face it, you're only playing this because you're a fan[gender].
Pokemon: Screw catching them all, I just want that one perfect nature/ability combination... (Funny story really. I'm up to my 50-somethingth togepi and still haven't gotten what I wanted.)
Team Fortress 2: Boom headshot bonk the sandvich while erecting a dispenser to deploy an ubercharge; MMMPHF! or Doc DOCTOR MEDIC MMPHPH C'mon doc, please!
TWEWY: Can you multitask?


I'll stop now. Can you tell what sort of games I like to play? See if you can spot the odd one out.

 

[Pandalisk]

killzone 2: shoot the glowy eyed fucks!..
RE5: Weskers a dick
Motorstorm: win the race, other drivers? kill they ass!
MGS4: Just do the missions dont try and follow the damn plot, curse you liquid liqiud oceleot ocelot!..
Medievil 2 total war: calvary has never been been so fun!
deadspace: play halfway, get bored go away, come back, GAME.. The Monsters Did it!..
The entire rainbow six series: shoot random generic terrorists of multi racial backgrounds GAME..
uncharted: searching for buried TRESHA! PHILLIP!..
Quake wars: KILL
Haze: Take Drugs.. EPIC WIN! kill people GAME..
Turok: Kill dem dino's!
Ninja gaiden on hard mode: Rape
Mortal Kombat 2: Rape
Killzone 2 on elite: RAPE

actually nearly all games can be summaried by the term "You are here, Badguys over there, KILL THEY ASS

What about Ico?

Escort some broad, kill shadow ass?

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

WH40K: Dawn of War: Waaagh!

 

[irishstormtrooper]

Lost Planet, or "It's cold."

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Final Fantasy VII: Kill the person who killed your girlfriend.
Halo series: Kill the aliens.
Pokemon series: Gotta catch 'em all!

 

[Amarok]

Half Life 2: Gordon Freeman! Gordon Freeman! Gorrrrdoooooon Freemaaaaan!
Left 4 Dead: I'm the leader! Me! Me! Me me me me!
Call of Duty 4: Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Call of Duty WaW: ...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Warcraft 3: Everything I can do, the damned computer can do better
The Sims 2: Shoo flee!?

 

[Sixties Spidey]

Call of Duty WaW: Shoot Nazis and Japanese people

And Zombies! Don't forget the zombies! Of the Nazi kind obviously.

 

[Sixties Spidey]

Every Sonic game released on the consoles since Sonic Adventure 2: Shittiest Shit in the Shithouse.

Alternative: Sonic Team must die.


Also...

Half Life 2: FUCK YES.