one sentence to save your life.

[navyjeff]

I swear I didn't know she was your daughter; can we talk this out over a bottle of scotch?

 

[no one at all]

"when we meet in hell i'll eat your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[navyjeff]

"Computer, end program!"

 

[John the Gamer]

So you drove me into a corner, not realising that even the weakest animal becomes a fierce enemy when cornered. I'm a weak animal, so prepare to die. (Charge at them and keep running after passing them. A grenade would be nice)

 

[Twilight_guy]

"I swear to God my ghost is going to kick your ass forever if you kill me"

 

[Wilko316]

Go "Oh my omnipotent religious figure there's a squirrel doing a fucking moonwalk!" Then with how distracted they'll obviously be I'll go all Yami Yugi on them and MINDCRUSH!

 

[Ohhi]

A guy pops out from behind me and says " It's dangerous to go alone take this." and hands me the master sword then disappears.

 

[Reece Stevens]

behind you

 

[Adamc-mh]

"You have rookie eyes"

 

[Bobbity]

Fuck that, I'd just spit in their faces

Or maybe I'd try that poison wine trick from the Princess Bride. I dunno

 

[Seriphina]

Look behind you! A three headed monkey!

or if it was a possible sexual assault kinda threat i would warn them i had something nasty... AIDS i guess? D: This is a horrible topic lol.

 

[Geekosaurus]

Let's review this objectively to determine why exactly you're chasing me. I think we could come to an agreement that is mutually beneficial.

 

[The-Epicly-Named-Man]

Oh look, a three headed monkey!

 

[Rooster893]

I never beat Ocarina of Time!

*gets angry looks*

What? I COULDN'T GET PAST DODONGO CAVERNS!
*breaks down and cries*

 

[Chimichanga]

"Tag, Now I'm it!"

 

[thedoclc]

"Hastur, Hastur, Hastur."

 

[Shoqiyqa]

EDIT: I thought of a better one:

I would turn around, look them in the eyes, and take out my gold pocket watch

I wouldn't even need to say a word. By the time that tune ends, they would be long gone.

It was weeks after watching Deep Blue Sea that I finally realised what was so familiar about the sharks' theme tune. They used that tune.

 

[razor343]

Klaatu Barada Nikto.
BOOM!